Saturday, July 26, 2014

The new Bananas and Guns Swim Shorts at Slick It Up

Phallic symbols are loved by all since the beginning of time! These shorts are lightly lined so they can be worn as shorts or a swim trunks! They also have zipper pockets so you can't lose your keys, iPhone, wallet. Pick them up now at Slick It Up.

Sunday, July 20, 2014

This woman is a viper dangling from a vine.





Did you just see a poor woman accidentally fall from a rope swing? If you did you’re a victim of a predatory passive aggressive personality type.

This is the best example of a PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE PREDATOR at work. Do NOT feel sorry for this woman! She knew EXACTLY what was going to happen. This is the way she controls people. By GUILTING them into feeling so sorry for her they then become compliant with her needs. As soon as she lands she falsely exclaims “I can’t feel my legs…wahwahwah.. HOLD MY HAND.” He wasn’t going to hold her hand any other way. This woman is no victim, she is a PREDATOR!

Manipulating someone else’s emotions and hurting yourself to make someone else feel bad in order to control them is especially rotten. Its a stunt done in thousands of ways by millions of people. There are sooo few “accidents”. Often accidents are simply someones repurposed rage. For example your neighbor “accidentally” forgets to water your plants while you’re on vacation and they all die. It wasn’t an accident. The person was resentful that you burdened them with this chore AND that you went on a vacation and passive aggressively punishes you by letting something you care that you’ve put in their hands without their request die. This case is similar but even more twisted. This woman knows that there is a VERY strong chance this will not end well but she’s willing to take the risk because of the potential of an opportunity to manipulate other people through their guilt. She takes the jump, suffers very real pain, and although she may consciously feel regret she could not be happier because her, potentially subconscious, plan of passive aggressive control of others has them hooked!

She should be pushed off a higher cliff by children.

This “victim” is CONNIVING! She’s the ultimate predator, willing to risk physical pain to have her needs met. She’s no different then any other mega sociopath.

You just thought you saw a tragic woman hurt herself and you felt bad and maybe laughed. If you did, she tricked you. In either of those reactions she wins. I wonder if this woman is a candidate for Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy? Im pretty sure this behavior qualifies as Maunchausen Syndrome but the BY PROXY version is so much more INSIDIOUS! She’s definitely willing to hurt herself to make you feel bad so she can control you. Im forced to wonder if she would hurt others in order for you to feel bad and thus be able to control you as well.

See, and here you thought you saw one thing, and it turns out it was something quite different entirely. All you needed to be was curious enough to look beyond the surface.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Monday, July 7, 2014

The new Emperor Swimsuit at Slick It Up

The suit has perfect photo-realistic images of a fish on the front with a crown and two snarling majestic panthers on the back! Its mega fierce. Pick it up at Slick It Up now!

Sunday, July 6, 2014

Daily Dudes

Scary Sherri was AWESOME. Kinda the Michelle Visage of the WWF. She taught me how to model.


I like that she doesn't attempt to recreate poses from fashion magazines because she has so much self esteem she knows her poses ARE BETTER. I bet Sensation "Scary" Sherri was a very nice person… who maybe had a drinking problem and a brother who died and she had to be tough. This is what I gather from this shoot. Im a psychic but I only can see into your soul through your modeling routine.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

President Snows Panem Address by Tim Palen

I made the collar that the kid is wearing.

Dear Restoration Hardware!!!

Dear Restoration Hardware, please never send me your TWELVE POUND CATALOGUE, its literally 12 pounds, of fake antiques again. I actually feel sorry for the trees that were sacrificed and toxic dyes that were used for me to throw it directly into the recyclable bin. I never bought anything from you, nor did I ask for it. I appreciate the GUERRILLA GUILT TRIP you've taken me on as much as I appreciate your rusty designs and shotty products that you've repackaged as "shabby chic"!!!
Why do I hate fake antiques so much??? Let me tell you...To me it says "I live in a deluded dreamworld where I don't think about what the space I inhabit is but I WISH TO PERCEIVE that its this classic old fantasy that says "Im real, Im classic, Im correct" when Im completely UNWARE that I am in a PARTICLE BOARD BOX WITH PLASTIC SHINGLES in a room full of FAKE ANTIQUES MADE IN CHINA which is really no different then a room full of chinese lanterns because its still all just FAKE CRAP MADE IN CHINA and I have no idea about the world, or my world and and I'd really not rather think, please don't make me think, I just want to eat garbage and die and go to heaven where I can just do the same thing and eat garbage forever without judgement, Im so blessed."
God doesn't like fake antiques.

New Snake Pattern Gym Cut Swim Shorts


These new swim shorts are fully and comfortably lined so they can be worn as regular shorts or a swimsuit. They also have a zip pocket so there is no worry about losing your stuff! Made out in New York City from stretchy comfy spandex! Available now at SLICK IT UP.

Daily dudes

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Have you seen Tim Burtons Hansel and Gretel from 1982

I went to Tim Burtons college, Cal Arts, and I didn't even know about it. I really enjoyed seeing it because I was happy to see the things that he clearly has had intense interest in since the beginning. Stripes, that pale skinned red lipped aggressive stylish villain (Cruella Deville influence?), this "woman" with a big gibson girl/ japanese bun (Helena Bonham Carter, Lisa Marie, Winona Ryder), the spot light painted in a dark space, that wild eyed doll, the clawed hands popping out of something you didn't expect, that carousel/baby mobile thing... All these elements he's put into almost every movie and I thought it was great to see because its nice to know that if you hone your obsessions and aesthetics right you can make it into a very clear and powerful style. When he made this I wonder if he was ever aware that these things would become his signatures? Most likely no, I mean how would he even know he'd be successful? I also like seeing that he has repeated ideas first shown here in other hugely successful films because its sometimes hard coming up with NEW IDEAS all the time and its nice to see that you don't necessarily have to. You can just stick with with your current ideas and obsessions until you arrange them successfully.
Below I have put some pictures from Hansel and Gretel next to some from his other well known movies. There were many more influences, but these were just a few I remembered/recognized. There are a lot that he put in Pee Wees big adventure but Im starving and want to go eat so Im not going to bother posting those.

My daily Magic Potion

I drink a magic potion each morning. This is my “summer body” potion because I’ve added a Synadrex and the Carnivor protein instead of having a bacon egg and cheese bagel for breakfast. It’s Noni, PANA C, fish oil, green vibrance, Tag glutamine, and iodine(kelp) and then a pill of synadrex(caffeine and I don’t recommend it), resveratrol, and probiotic men’s formula. I mix it all in a hand shaker and drink it with the pills.
The Carnivor is protein for muscles and the glutamine is for muscles. The fish oil is general health, “glow”, mood. The RAW probiotics is for a healthy balanced/”strong” intestinal tract. The Green vibrance and Pana C are mega vitamins with something like 400 ingredients between the two. Resveratrol is anti aging. The liqui-kelp (iodine) and Noni are both supposedly “anti cancer” and my mom died of cancer at a youngish age so I want to be sure to counter that even though I think that was a mental thing because she was impeccably healthy but a “person of principle” so strongly that I feel the combination of holding that grudge of “principle” for a lifetime and also being so incredibly “vice free” because she never had a drink or caffeine or smoked that not doing anything to have her immune system need to fight like having a drink or caffeine I feel made her body not “experienced” so when cancer came into her body it didn’t know how to fight it. She also drank diet caffeine free coke like water (it was the 80s/90s) and that shit is toxic as fuck. So that is the combo that got her I think but still I like to have my bases covered so I do the anti free radical supplements. The Synadrex I don’t recommend as its bananas and Im only doing it right now to lose 7 pounds for a summer body.

You could easily do this with just the Green Vibrance or Pana C, the fish oil, and carnivor and be fine. It would also be far more affordable. Though Green Vibrance and Pana C is fucking expensive but I don’t cook so I want the nutrients.

ALSO, not to sound like a douche but Im 39 and the only sign I have of aging is that my hair is receding on the sides and turning grey, which Im fine with, but I feel I look far younger then most people who are my age and that people who are like 32 often look way older. So something is working. I also don’t drink much, though your supposed to have one drink of any alcohol (doesn’t have to be red wine) and a cup of coffee a day which I do pretty much.