Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Daily Dudes


Its JOSLYN not JOCELYN! There is a HUGE DIFFERENCE in that TINY change. Jossy is not a Jah-suh-lynn, she's a JOZLIN. JOZLIN FOX only one X. She aint fancy, she's not all uppity and stuff, she spent her money on BIKINIS and FROSTED LIPSTICK not LETTERS. This aint Wheel of Fortune its Rupauls Drag Race!

Ever wonder what happened to that little kid at the beginning of Paris Is Burning?

Well now he's Alyssa LaPerla

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Rupauls Drag Race Season Six Episode 9 review

Wow, well Im off my mini mone cycle and Im so much happier?! I wake up NOT ANGRY?! Trinity K Bonet got the chop and I'm like "Well she lost fair and square." I mean even on the mones I am obsessed with fairness but on a cycle Id be ANGRY about it. Id really be upset at the fact that TRNITY SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN IN THE BOTTOM TWO?! and how it was a TOTAL RIP OFF that she got put there when it VERY CLEARLY should have been Joslyn and Adore not Adore and Trinity and how this season is the MOST RIGGED ASS BULLSHIT SEASON WITH WAY TOO MUCH SHITTY OBVIOUSLY FRAUDULENT EDITING YET but hey, WHO CARES were all here for a good time right?! I mean why would anyone be upset over BEN DE LA CREME, who's talents are best served at a REN FAIRE, being saved but the soft spoken, beautiful, under dog who is up against a bunch of privileged white bitches- besides Bianca, Trinity gets thrown to the wayside? Its not about being fair is it, its about ENTERTAINMENT!, and who could argue that the uncomfortably diminutive Ben De La Creme who rips off her costumes from the Thierry Mugler follies and PRETENDS LIKE SHES AN ORIGINAL gets to stay despite being crushed by Darienne Lake? Her copying this costume but making it a FLY instead of a BEE explains so much about Ben and why I don't like her. SHE DOESNT GET IT. The entire concept of that outfit works because its a sexy lady that can STING YOU. Its DANGEROUS BEAUTY, the MOST APPEALING form of attraction! Which is why its used by predators of the nature world over the entire planet! Its my FAVORITE THING ON EARTH. Everything I like is DANGEROUS BEAUTY. The Mugler costume is cool because its a sexy lady that could STING YOU, not a sexy lady who EATS YOUR POO!?! I mean why should Ben be allowed more camera time when there is a kid without the dough to fix his horrible teeth and a fat black mom who's sick in a hospital who actually makes an impressive transformation and is one of the best lip synchers out there and probably has saved every tip he's made since Destinys Child broke up to buy his wigs is trying his best? Nobody should say a DAMN THING, I am FINE with the editing choices and Im pulling for poor little Ben! Gosh he's GREAT for a drag gnome and he HAS faced hardships! He's from Seattle and it RAINS A LOT THERE. Ok, Ok I know his mom died when he was young and that does suck but I dunno a mom who died at 14 seems not quite a current hardship when you compare it to a mom who's currently in a HOSPITAL BED who is KEEPING HERSELF ALIVE to see you win Rupauls Drag Race?! I actually dunno why Im being so mean about Ben. I apologize, Im being a DOUCHE. I think I resent her lack of LACK OF self confidence! Im coming off like Darienne Lake who is proving to us all that fat people don't have to be jolly and can be cunts just like the rest of us! Hooray?? I actually thought her Elephant effect was a smart choice and looked good. I also really can't read Ben for copying when Courtney Act is in the room. As Ive said several times Courtney Act is totally correct, but its SO INTERESTING to me that NOBODY likes her. Some people actually ACTIVELY UNLIKE HER. I don't understand whats going on here with Courtney. She is very obviously copying fellow Australia Drag Superstar Dallas Dellaforce almost one to one on most of her looks? Are they friends? Enemies? Frenemies… I mean Courtneys outfit was the best but again it just feels like were watching Kylie in concert competing against local talent. Im not WOWED when I see something fierce Im like "cool but ok". The talent on Rupauls Drag Race has to be great but also fairly undiscovered I guess. Like Courtney should have been a judge maybe not a contestant. Thats all in retrospect though because before the show I was all "why isn't Courtney Act on the show?!" and now we know why.
Now lets talk about Adore. I hated Adore when she was first on here because she was trying to prove herself and Im sure the producers were feeding them all direction to be BIG BIG BIG personalities which was horribly annoying and now of course we all like Adore. She shouldn't win because her outfits are terrible, though I actually love her wigs as I appreciate an 80s street walker effect, but her lip synch was SO GOOD. It was VERY ENTERTAINING. Now if we hadn't seen Trinity a few times before she would have had a better shot but I feel Trinity was doing well crafted sensual moves which is her thing and Adore just WENT FOR IT. Now if we saw Adore three times before would she be as entertaining, probably not because her stunts would have been used up! This goes to show you another reason why not being in the lip synch for your life often is a good thing. You have a stockpiled arsenal of moves. Trinity had used hers up sending home lesser queens. I was sad to see Trinity go but as much as I love Jossy as a person it should have been her.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Daily dudes

As I went to bed last night something came to me about yes EVEN MORE CAME TO ME but I think its very interesting....

When Laganja says "I feel very ATTACKED?!" What she actually means is "Im feeling very PRESENT right now." For whatever unfortunate reasons Laganja CANNOT be present, on this earthly plane of consciousness. She always has to be somewhere ELSE, under the table, in drag, talking in affected voices, physically twirling around like a TOTAL QUEERDO, or HIGH. Hence the marijuana addiction that shes trying to positively morph into an identity. All these things she does removes her from being present mentally, on the same EARTHLY PLANE as the rest of us.
So when Bianca called her out on her shit and made her be present and recount/ be responsible for her actions Bianca essentially CONJURED HER to this earthly realm. Laganja cannot be HERE. She cant be present so much that she PHYSICALLY HAD TO REMOVE HERSELF FROM THE ROOM?! She LITERALLY could not be present?! This is sorta fascinating. I do this on some levels as well! I dunno how I never noticed this before?! This also proves my READ of how Laganja is a tranny parrot minion of satan, she really does NOT inhabit our earthly realm!?

...and then a little side note and I dont know if it means anything but its sorta interesting that when Laganja "APPEARS" as conjured by Bianca, Bianca has to "disappear". Look at the gif, its kind of AMAZING. Its like MAGIC. Its like BIANCA is in another realm now because she has brought this demon to the Earthly realm and needs to be UNCONSCIOUS in order for it to be present just like Sigourney Weaver in GHOSTBUSTERS!

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Rupauls Drag Race Season 6 episode 7/8 The Deconstruction of Laganja ...Dont read it if you havent seen it

This double episode was the turn around weve all been waiting for. It happened on my birthday as well so it was quite a gift to have LAGANJA SENT HOME as my present from Ru to share with my friends! The two episodes sorta melded into one so Im just going to handle them as one mega episode and basically just focus the discussion about how Laganja is the worst most manipulative spoiled child who is attempting to run the world the same way she has her family which is to act like a fragile histrionic mess. This false and actually EVIL theatrical production clearly worked on his poor mom, as I stated in previous reviews, who probably feels GUILTY and over protective of her "fragile little angel" and is blind to the fact that her little angel is a MANIPULATIVE MINION and TRANNY PARROT OF SATAN! Isnt it interesting to watch her and FIGURE OUT HOW HER BRAIN WORKS? Like my friend Mark was the first one who said "Im sure her parents werent against her being gay or drag. They just thought "Oh BOY, not drag, I cant take anymore and this kid doesnt need ANOTHER AFFECTATION?!" and it was revealed he was totally right! Its so interesting. Most people do this but eventually come to realize this kind of stunt doesnt work, like when I as a teen and I thought that PUBLICLY getting into to WITCHCRAFT was going to make me POWERFUL but of course it BACKFIRES and everyone clocks you for TRYORY. We all borrow aspects that we admire from other people, its how we develop our individuality by strategically picking up on elements we like and fashioning them to our own identity, almost like styling a look in clothes for ourselves, but we dont just COPY THE ENTIRE MANNEQUIN or you look like a fool. We all know people who still do this and AVOID THEM AT ALL COSTS because this kind of behavior should stop at around no later then 18. If youre pulling this stunt past this age I almost wonder if youll NEVER be "real" and youll be "Always and forever... Laganja". Instead of Laganja getting real and developing a strong sense of self she just keeps adding layer upon layer upon layer of OTHER PEOPLES IDENTITIES?! Most obviously Alyssa Edwards?!?! How amazing was that reveal that Laganja taught classes in Alyssas studio and that she told Alyssa she had an interest in drag and Alyssa said "I DONT THINK ITS FOR YOU." ?!?!?!?!? WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL Alyssa tried to save us all!!!! Imagine the moment Laganja says "I wanna do drag" to Alyssa?!!! What went through Alyssas head?! I like to imagine it was an INSTINCTUAL REFLEX RESPONSE and that she looked for the closest SHARP or HEAVY object to solve the problem at hand right then and there but instead simply said "I dont think drag is for you."! Once you know that Laganja is a disciple of Alyssa suddenly the BIZARRO AFFECTATIONS make sense! SHES JUST A WEIRD ALYSSA-BOT. Shes SUCH A BAD impersonator we never picked up on the fact that she was just aping Alyssa?! Its so fascinating, I TOLD YOU SHE WAS A PARROT?! She just listened to Alyssa, HAD NO IDEA WHAT OR WHY OR HOW anything was being said but knew she for whatever reasoning in her mind had to be this person so she just REPEATED THE PHRASES at what she perceived to be correctly timed moments, but because she doesnt understand the meaning THEY ARENT, and here we find Laganja Estranja the most frightening drag queen ever on RPDR. She makes TAMMY BROWN seem like someone you could casually share a bed with. I sorta feel bad for her because she hates herself so much she cant ever be her own person but shes such a manipulative lying twat she washes that sympathy I have for her away with LIES. She will NEVER be a fused identity. She will move from person to person to thing to thing. Like how I wrote about how she discovered marijuana and THAT IS NOW HER IDENTITY. Im sure before Alyssa it was the pink Power Ranger which cause her interest in gymnastics, then Willy Wonka where she learned about creativity as an opportunity to create your own world on a judgy terrified planet (did anyone else pick up on her constant use of using the words "earthlings" or "humans" for PEOPLE?), then Alyssa for an identity, then Marijuana for "cool factor", then Crystal meth for something to do, then fisting FOR ATTENTION, then dead in drag BECAUSE NOBDY WAS LOOKING. Actually Im WRONG. Laganja will NEVER DIE because shes TOO EVIL. She has SO MUCH RAGE and ANGER in her she will NEVER DIE. She is a perfect example of the PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE SADIST. Playing the victim but she knows EXACTLY whats shes doing, searching out for people who are sympathetic and kind and then SUCKING THE LIFE FORCE FROM THEM. Id like to think she would die when shes finally sucked the life force from her two poor parents but maybe then shell find some sympathetic soul and suck the life force from them too. Playing the role of a concerned friend while simultaneously latching on and sucking that persons sympathy until its all dried up and she can throw another tantrum and get them back into a sympathetic roll only to milk them again and again and again. Laganja Estranja is a vampire with bad style. Laganja the LAMPREY.
Im liking Bianca more and more. Shes actually very "me", I THINK, I may play the role she does with my friends so I relate to her and I REALLY APPRECIATE her coming for Laganja and clocking her for her bullshit, it was SO FIERCE, we watched it twice. It was actually REALLY GOOD of Bianca to do because Bianca was very honest in her apology when she FELL FOR LAGANJAS TRAP and then realized "wait Ive been HAD" and decided to TURN AROUND AND GO AFTER THE BITCH. AMEN BIANCA! I have a hard time with her make up but I like her more and more. In the gif above where Laganja joyfully claims shes been victimized by exclaiming the LIE "I feel very attacked." Biancas face had me PAH HA loudly. Bianca was NOT going to be victim of her false dramatics which Laganja realized were not working so she just tried to do them LOUDER.... FLOP. It may work on mom but not me OR BIANCA. How is Bianca from the south?! Shes so East Coast. Speaking of the East Coast how good did Michelle Visage look in episode 7?! I thought she looked better then she ever has! She was someohow RELAXED yet big and sexy. She was like a seriously HOT MOM, she might have been wearing a SWEATSHIRT, I cant remember, but the hair was fantastic. Ru also looked fantastic and the dress was sooo good. It reminded me of one of my favorite pieces from a Dior show.
The rest of the show was sorta shadowed by Laganjas antics but I have to say Courtney Klaus Nomi look was super good. Trinitys hooker look was everything I appreciate , aka JACKEE with a New Wave wig aka PERFECT!. I like Adore more now that shes not trying to prove herself so much. Joslyn I like a ton but her looks do sorta suck, but she does own them so thats kinda cool but she could do better. Josylyn is one of those people who could benefit from a stylist and like 2,000 dollars. I feel like she kinda doesnt care about clothes which is cool but youre an ENTERTAINER so you have to put effort into your look or people feel let down. I was surprised she sorta did a shitty job on the comedy sketch and was SUPER GLAD she clocked Laganja doing a drop split and did one at the same time which was SUPER BOLD and I love her for that. Joslyn is a clever girl and her clocking Trinitys chin as Vivacious was the CUTEST form of CUNTING Ive ever seen! I was impressed that Trinity could do comedy though Im sorta curious as to where that came from because it was surprisingly good but im very happy to see it as Trinity is sorta my favorite. I thought Darienne Lake totally got SHAFTED when she beat Ben de La Creme and Ben didnt get sent home. WHAT A CROCK OF SHIT?!Her performance was NOT good AT ALL and she should have been sent packing. Dariennes collecting of invisible dollar bills was AWESOME. The dilemna of dressing a huge person is so hard to manage because what the fuck to you do?! Quite honestly its TOO EXPENSIVE in materials alone to build something large for these huge queens?! Imagine what it costs in materials to dress a skinny queen and then multiply that times 3 or 4 and you have the cost of dressing a big girl. I mean we'll all give a little leeway because we understand its hard to dress at that size but then we also get tired of the refrigerator coming down the runway.
Im thinking the final three will be Trinity Bianca and Courtney and its kinda hard to decide. Bianca is cool but I just have a hard time accepting her, Trinity I really like but she hasn't KILLED me yet, and Courtney has done everything right, but Im not charmed. The next few episodes will make all the difference, right now for me its a race between Bianca and Trinity. As much as I like Bianca and agree with Bianca and appreciate Bianca for KEEPING IT REAL, Im pulling for Trinity because she's played it quiet and kind and although shes been too self doubting Id rather know someone who doubts themselves too much then someone who believes in themselves too much.

Saturday, April 5, 2014

I see no better results in getting an ass then doing this and the escalator cardio machine

It has to be this kind, i do NOT get the same results from the standing kick back press and I do NOT mean the stairmaster when I say the escalator. I mean the one that is a escalator and the stairs rotate. Do that and you get an ass and quads quickly.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Rupauls Drag Race Season 6 Episode 6

Weve reached the point where the show gets good. We got rid of all the weak ones and are left with the stronger personalities and have stronger relationships with the contestants now so we have a stronger reaction to the show. Unfortunately for me, at this moment, Im just not that connected. Im sad about that. Im sorta not really into anyone. I feel its because everyone is just too self aware and aware of the flow of the show etc. Im just not surprised. Its an interesting thing going on thats hard to explain. Going into the show I was really excited about Courtney Act but instead of being into her Im just sorta sitting here thinking shes cool, shes funny, shes correct, so why am I not into it?! Its an interesting thing about fame and popularity I guess. I think because there was so much hype about her I thought I was going to be really wrapped up in her but instead Im just sort of seeing a well trained and talented actor on stage and Im just sorta like "Ok, shes good." but Im not so impressed because I EXPECT IT OF HER. I think her notoriety sorta ruined the surprises. I sorta feel like its having Kylie Minogue on stage with them. Like of course she has good costumes and of course she can sing, its her job. You know what it is, there is no DISCOVERY with her so there is no surprise. I cant say one bad thing about her, I like her a lot actually and if she was unknown shed be received with much more accolade but unfortunately I didnt expect that my expectations would get in the way of appreciating her. If she was an unknown from Minnesota Id be blown away.
Someone I appreciate a little more is Adore. Yes I still dont think she belongs in the final three because she doesnt even seem like a real drag queen with her TOTAL NEGLECT of ever finishing a complete look, shes pretty but HALF ASSED but at least she seems a little bit more real as a person. Its that La kind of "real" where theyre honest about being fake so in turn thats real? Do you get what im saying? Its not like "texan fake" where theyre nice but they hate you, in LA everyone is in on the fake of it all and you say things that you dont mean as a way of being NICE.Its hard for people from outside of LA to understand but I get it as I went to college there and appreciate it. Its like the TOTAL OPPOSITE of my friends from Russia. In Russia they think its RUDE to be "nice" because its fake but in La if youre not like that youre considered a RUDE DICK. If I had to pick one Id do LA, yes it can be tedious but if you disagree go to any Eastern Block nation and youll see how that "realness" gets ROTTEN REAL FAST. Im a pretty nice guy and in Prague I yelled through the door at this horrible rotten evil maid and called her an IDIOT CUNT because she was so unfriendly.. I dont think I ever felt the need to scream IDIOT CUNT at anyone in LA.. oh but wait then theres LAGANJA...
Laganja may not be a human being. I think shes a parrot. She says words but its not like they even forming sentences. Its like how a parrot says things but it doesnt know that its even a WORD, its just repeating a SOUND and thats what Laganja does. Laganja is a tranny parrot left in the dressing room and it picked up all the slang and now someone let that parrot out of the cage and its just flying around ACTING FUCKIN WEIRD. Shes kinda fascinating and theyre smart to keep her around because now I wanna see just how insane shes going to get! My friend wants to use her as a study in cognitive theories. Have you ever seen a BAGGY bodysuit?! In the hip hop challenge there was NOTICEABLE GATHERING in the crotch of her bodysuit?! CROTCH WRINKLES ARE NOT SEXY. Speaking of wrinkles, can I also address Laganjas face? Im not saying this to be mean but she has chronic pot smoker face which is this THIN SKIN FOLD between the cheek and the nose. Chronic pot smokers beware, everyone I know who is one has this feature its never been addressed as far as I know. Its sorta like their face is waxy and melting. Its almost like facial wasting but not. I know when I smoke pot the next day I look DOG FACED and DROOPY and I think if you smoke pot non stop you just get this saggy face but I dont get where the THINNESS to the skin comes from. I dont need to go on about her face anymore, I dont want it to be a read.
Speaking of reading this episode was the READING portion of the show. I thought this was the best reading section yet albeit the most edited. Darriene was the best and thats an achievement with Bianca the "insult comic" being there. Laganjas reads were the predictable nonsensical words fused together to ALMOST FORM SENTENCES and Ben de la Cremes jokes were SO BAD. A read needs to pertain to the person youre reading, it cant just be a random insult that could be applied to anyone which a few of them relied on.
The runway was glazed over again and was confusing so there isnt even much to say, but can I at least ask for a HEADER across the screen with the theme and can the contestants at least CONSIDER THIS THEME?! Why am I seeing 60s looks, 40s looks, bondage ensembles and cocktail dresses shown as a supposedly cohesive group?
The 90s Rap challenge was entertaining. Milks "If your looking for a dude or youre in the PREGGERS MOOD" lines were FIERCE though lost on Trina and Eve. I think they were insulted and I cant blame them because the joke is basically about STREET FOLK irresponsibly MAKIN BABIES but I thought it was funny. The word PREGGERS I love because its so REVOLTING and perfectly encapsules my feelings on pregnancy. Im grossed out by it and preggers or PREGO makes me think that her stomach is distended because its full of TOMATO SAUCE....ahhhh Im gonna throw up!
Poor Milk... This week the Milk expired :( We liked Milked and were sad to see her get the chop. I appreciated her presence. I wanted her to be a little more SHARP and a little more polished so I cant blame Ru for giving her the chop but I could name three others to go before her. She wasnt winner material but she was interesting.
I hated Rus Dress but was super happy to see her wearing the Slick It Up Sequin Hoodie for the rap challenge!! YAYAYAY!

Oh I forgot about the Lipsynch! I said this before Trinity is quiet and shy and when backed into a corner by Bianca and asked "What exactly are you good at?" she couldnt answer but you know what she can do WIN THE FUCKING LIP SYNCH. I would LOVE for Trinity to be sent to the bottom two EVERY SINGLE EPISODE from here on and to beat every single contestant! THEN she could say "Oh and Bianca to answer your question "What can I do successfully? Now I think you know the answer." THAT would be a great underdog/show story and I think if that happened peoples perspective on her would be dramatically turned around. That said the song favored Trinity so much more then cracker ass Milk, though Milk really did make an effort and I commend her for trying. I would be SO FUCKED to have to compete in 90s hip hop challenge.

Oh I forgot. I was watching the Fashion Ruview of the show that Raja and Raven do each week and look at the rotten... mistake???... they made on Bianca Del Rios name ahahahahahahah! thats funny!