Wednesday, June 3, 2009

MY NEW CATEGORY..NYC NIGHTLIFE UPDATE...with Rae Dawn Chong!


I met my friend out for dinner in Hells Kitchen and decided to go have a soda at the bar Therapy afterward which I havent been to in years. It supposedly has be renovated but I was there like 3 years ago and it looked exactly how I remember so I dont exactly get it, but anyways... I went with my uber cracker friend Russell. I think we were the only NON MIXED RACE table there. We felt UNCOMFORTABLE sitting there with our HONKIFIED selves,and both wished THE OTHER ONE HAD CORNROWS?! Is Therapy strictly a bar for checker board chicks?! WERE THEY SHOOTING A BENNETON CAMPAIGN?! Is this FOREVER or is it just TRENDING like when EVERYONE had a Latino boyfriend when Ricky Martin was popular?!.... I DID!! It wasnt just black/white couples either it was everybody doing anyone! Asians sitting on Arabs laps, BLACK FOOT SOUIX coyly flirting with THEIR NOT SO DISTANT ancestors the Eskimo!.. it was O.T.T!?! It wasnt just mixed race couples either it was mixed race MIXED SEX couples too!!....We felt TOTALLY UNCOOL!!!...WHERES RAE DAWN CHONG WHEN YOU NEED HER?!?!?!?
ps... Mostly what I wrote in this is true, except for the eskimo part, but I really think I just wrote it because I wanted to say RAE DAWN CHONG. I cant stop saying it now. RAE DAWN CHONG!!! Its like a mouth exercise.. RAE DAWN CHONG.. Im going to bed, otherwise Im gonna end up calling all my friends and leaving messages pretending Im RAE DAWN CHONG just so I can say RAE DAWN CHONG over and over...and ask for my stardom back and that I dont even care who took it from me anymore...ms MARIA CONCHITA ALONSO!!!?!

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL, should we be inquiring what exactly you were drinking at the bar??!?!?

-G

David Mason said...

Soda with lime thank you very much :)

youreviltwin said...

um, GET OUT OF MY HEAD?!

RAE DAWN CHONG and MARIA CONCHITA ALONSO have been the bane of my friends for some time- sometimes when i get overtired i will mutter and rant about them and just chant their names together like it summons some multi-ethnic demigod that grants wishes about co-starring in films with michael keaton and nicolas cage (obviously this is one of the old, cruel gods).

*TIP*:

if you're REALLY feeling loopy, i suggest MERGING their names together. Impress your guests! This crowd pleaser will be a hit at ANY party! it's like the sherbert ringed punch of CHONG-CHITA oriented incantations.

David Mason said...

Omg you ARE my evil twin. I do the same thing, sometimes I will just get a name in my head and I cant stop saying it. For YEARS I have randomly said LUCILLE LORTELL THEATRE. I love saying it to myself and anyone else who will listen.

David Mason said...

lolol I cant stop laughing and saying CHONG CHITA!!!
Its like the time I saw RuPaul on that show "the weakest link" and she did the funniest thing ever. She didnt know the answer but acted like one of those people who THINK they TOTALLY know the answer and say it with authority... Well the question was something about a planet I think and Ru just said, with no hesitation and total authority, "CHAKA KHAN" which of course was wrong. I could not stop laughing. NOBODY picked up on it because she said it like it WAS the answer . ONE person laughed out loud in the audience. It was one of the best things Ive seen on tv. It totally broke the illusion, it was rad.

youreviltwin said...

that sounds hilarious... must... youtube...

David said...

i think you hit on something. white gays, dressing gay and being gay and talking about gay stuff are deeply, deeply uncool right now. as gay goes mass -- all the gay wedding coverage, all the adma lambert inanity, blah, blah, blah -- it is killing anything interesting or edgy about being gay. we're done. dusted. and not a moment too soon. it's sooooo fucking boring being gay. at least eskimos or sioux or asians or arabs or whatever are sexy. gays stopped being sexy 100 years ago. no wonder you felt out of place. you happened on some place that was actually cool (in it's own unpretentious way.) unlike gay-cool which is way over-produced, over built-up, over-cynical, overdone. I'm a gay white guy too and I see it all the time here in London. gay is boring. let's find something new to talk about.

Christian Canterbury said...

I remember NOT wanting to see "Soul Man" not only because she was in it, but also because she sang a song called "Black Boys" on the soundtrack. Ugh.