Monday, August 31, 2009

OOOOOPS!?!?! So glad the Laundry guy has a new name for me because my last name is so hard to pronounce anyways...






Ok, so any of you who may read this blog knows that my life seems to be an endless performance of creative new ways in which the gods have found to DEGRADE and HUMILIATE me... well the latest is pretty special. I live in a brownstone so I dont have a laundry room here so I have to drop it off to get laundered by someone else. As you know I live in a very small studio apt so the closet is VERY TIGHTLY PACKED with everything from my everyday clothes to dressy stuff to FETISH ACCOUTREMENT.
SO when I was putting my laundry away that they had neatly folded I GAGGED to find one of my MANY fetish hoods neatly folded and packed right next to my t shirts. The hood alone would be like whatever, but the fact that it was my NASTIEST one with a VERY DIRTY WORD ( which I will NOT tell you what it was- I need to keep something for myself) written in ALL CAPS across the forehead of it was ESPECIALLY GAGGIFYING.... Hieeee, Mr Laundry person, Thanks for neatly folding my gimp hood with @$*?@! written across the forehead, thats AWESOME, yep thats me...Mr. $%&*!@?! See you next week?!"....... Phil is SO picking up the laundry for the next few weeks...Sucks too because I was into that hood being a CRUSTY FILTHY MESS and now its all clean..... not FETISCHE.

12 comments:

Sue said...

Oops.

Martha Stewart said...

Dear David,

Was the inscription"Anna Wintour?"

Sincerely,
Martha Stewart

Kurt Walters said...

Shhyeah.. what he's not telling us is that the word on the hood is.. 'Kitten'

Eric Arvin said...

OMG! Can I put you in one of my novels? Seriously. That's hilarious!

Anonymous said...

David!!!!!!!!! How can you do this to us by not saying what the word is??!?!?!?

Please, please, pretty please tell us?!?!? (lol...ok keep it to yourself if you must but I am going to assume it is the dirtiest of all dirty words to call a gay man!)

-G

Leatherpigboy said...

LMFAO love it damn thats fuckin funny...well what you dont know is how did they clean it, maybe one of them sucked and chewed it nice n clean for you?? :)

David Mason said...

You guys crack me up!!!

Anonymous said...

I effin' love you... that's funny.
~N

JiffyJim said...

LOLOLOL...I love that story...NOW they've seen it all at the laundry :-)

El Brucio said...

You do realize that by refusing to say what the word on the hood really is that people are going to speculate and think about even worse things? :3

brando said...

Ummm... tell me that this doesn't sound FAMILIAR!!!! "Hey momma, I'm soo glad you visiting and decided to wash my clothes for me. Oh, and thanks for washing my neoprene trunks!"

(Not Your Average) Joe said...

I am so glad I have stumbled on to your blog... all at once you freak me out and make me scream with laughter! I am SO white-bread and so old-school (but not cool old-school -- more old, really)
but I can't get enough!
Thanks so much!