Thursday, September 10, 2009

Dieting is bad for my brain!!!?!

A\It makes me have crazy dreams?! Last night I could barely sleep because of them, all I can remember are these four:
1: Ronald Reagan personally executed Jimmy Hoffa. Jimmy Hoffa was buried up to his shoulders in rocks and Ronald had a shot gun and shot him in the throat which you think would blow his head off but it didnt. It just blew a chunk of his throat out and Jimmy was there with his tongue sticking out and wagging like when PRINCESS LEIA strangles JABBA with the chain...
2: I hopped a fence and jumped onto the disney Monorail ( I mentioned before how my dreams are like in theme parks 80% of the time) but when I jumped in I must have hit the controls and almost sent the train crashing at full speed into the train ahead of us but some conductor managed to hit a button that hit the breaks...I felt guilty for making everyone get thrown around in the train but hoped they wouldnt know it was my fault...
3. I snuck into the local theme park but it was a redone and like a shopping center too and I was driving around in this WHEELCHAIR/GO-KART and was waiting to go to the concession stand at 3:00 because then they had a sale where EVERYTHING WAS A DOLLAR, some girl came back with a giant sundae at like 2:15 and said she got it for a dollar by flirting with the guy... I was sorta annoyed by that. ( Mind you Im supposed to be on a diet, so I think this was a diet dream)
4. I found out my grandfather was the grandson of some financial british minister and that he was an architect/engineer and had built this big palatial theatre in Coney Island in the twenties and it was all fancy and nice with cool ramps and marble and stuff but it had this little decorative theme of PICKANINIES subtley all over the place and I was embarrassed. (Too obvious, but weird because my dads side of the family were the hicks and my moms was from NYC and this was my moms father) Mind you my grandfather was twenty in the 20s and would go to Coney Island in its heyday where the park mascots like Mickey and Donald in Disneyland were a giant lady, a giant chicken and a BLACK POLICEMAN.. Which was supposed to be like a RIDICULOUS JOKE... Ive seen pictures....EEEEEEK... Not coming up in an history of New York City tours any time soon Im sure!

2 comments:

Sue said...

Yeah, I'm not buyin' that these dreams are just from a diet. Nope. Not for a minute. What drugs are ya doing' there Dave? I have weird dreams like these and they are due to the Effexor I am on. So, now, fess up... What drugs are you on!!!

Anonymous said...

I'm with Dave... dieting is bad for the brain, or at least the gay man's brain! Recently adjusted my diet to restricted calories\more protein\less carbs and my dreams have been off the charts crazy (and no drugs here except the occasional claritin for pollen allergies).

One involved hitting it big on a slot machine in Vegas, only it turned out to be Angelina Jolie's slot machine but she wouldn't pay out my winnings unless I agreed to a Fight Club style match with Brad...

The worst one though was when I dreamt that my sis-in-law's sister got engaged to her boyfriend (think NJ shore guido minus the attitude but still fills out a tight pair of jeans nicely...) what made it so bad was it was so vivid (and plausible), I couldn't remember if it actually happened or if it was just a dream... then last weekend, I see her at my nephew's birthday party, only she's not wearing a ring and her boyfriend wasn't with her so I immediately start thinking what kind of douchbaggery he pulled to make her call off the engagement. I was about 2 seconds away from asking her about it when I remembered that it might've only been a dream... I had to ask my sis-in-law about it later to confirm that it was, in fact, only a dream.