Saturday, October 17, 2009

Wanna know something UNFIERCE....?


I was talking to my friend Duane last night and somehow we got on the topic of when I lost my virginity and I was like "Oh it was XXXX XXXXXXX, I met him on a very early phase of AOL when I was trapped inside my dorm which was trapped inside MINNESOTA." I was stuck in the dorm because the weather was miserable and the school SUCKED and Minneapolis was fine but just not at all what I expected ( I had never been to a mid western city before) so I ended up online ALL DAY and thought I found my first boyfriend and we talked every day for a month and I flew out to L.A and it was a TOTAL DUD! .... BUT.. I got to see L.A and loved it and transferred to CalArts so it was all meant to be... Anyways so I thought to look him up on facebook, and there were two, both in L.A, and to be honest I couldnt tell which one it was so I just wrote ONE a message. It turns out it WAS him. Hes a CHUBBY REPUBLICAN ( Yes the pic is him ( I know, I know, but remember this was 16 years ago so he looked better or at least YOUNGER) looking like he might be, just for the moment, "O.O.D" ( Out of Drag) (O.k that was a TOUCH mean but HE was a TOUCH mean so...), with anti Obama media on his page (not that I've ever been a huge fan but still..ewww), his facebook friends are mostly GENETIC FEMALES and he lives in Torrence. Of course never mentioning anything about being a TOTAL MO, or that when he was 21 he fucked me in a BEST WESTERN.. WITH BEST WESTERN QUALITY HAND CREAM...RAW ( what the fuck was I thinking?!).... All of it... NOT FIERCE... yet meant to be so Im happy for it or I never would have gone to LA and made all the friends I did and totally changed my life.

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

who are you to judge? except that that's all you do....oh but right, you''re a "nice" guy

David Mason said...

Lady, I have no idea what led you to believe that I have EVER considered myself NICE?!?!?

Sue said...

That is really kind of sad. A bittersweet story of a kid who finds himself in the wrong place and reaches out for a good thing but finds what he grabs for disintegrates in his hands. But the location is the reality. Okay, I must be high this morning. Or at least I wish I was.

I know people like that too. For some inexplicable reason, they are so contradictory, you just can't believe they even exist. So it goes.

Lucien said...

Dave - Never estimated you to be NICE either ! and We love love love it - !!!!! :-)

Miss Coffee Drinker said...

"who are you to judge"?

He's the owner/author of this blog that's who. Don't like it? Start your own.

It's fun how the story starts on AOL and ends on Facebook.

nsfw said...

my first time was with Cliffy on his waterbed when I was 16... two weeks later he was in jail, and I was already a regular at the afterhour clubs he introduced me to.

* meanwhile, the new manfred banner is such genius!

David Mason said...

Thanks Little miss coffee drinker!! I feel the same way?!?! It amazes me people have negative things to say. As though A. they paid for this service.
B. I cant voice my opinion but somehow its fine for them to question mine.
C. They offer nothing themselves, only negative comments which is worthless if you have nothing to back it up.
D. they for some reason read the blog but also hate it?!? Who does that? I dont read anything I dont like, its bizarre. It just comes of as misguided lust to me.

David Mason said...

thanks NSFW!!

David Mason said...

Was he in jail for screwing you or for his own reasons ?

nsfw said...

I think it was for a "break and enter" ...tho that could describe my first time.

Anonymous said...

I JUST LOVE YOU..." when I was trapped inside my dorm which was trapped inside MINNESOTA." THAT'S SOME FUNNY SHIT... AND BEST WESTERN HAND CREAM NO LESS... IF THAT'S NOT GLAMOUR, THAN I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS.
When life hands you lemons...
you opened a Hot Dog on a Stick!

~N
PS... thanks for the updates on which products you like and don't and why. Even when I don't buy most of them, I like staying informed!
: )

David Mason said...

Thanks N! :)

Kurt Walters said...

'Friend' him on FBook.. and with the request add the message; 'I decided not to have our child.'

Christian Canterbury said...

I love your fearlessness. Rock on.

Christian Canterbury said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bC8aCymVnwo&feature=player_embedded

Lifted this from Rose et Ride.
I wonder if John Travolta misses his lycra pouch?

Anonymous said...

I say 'Judge on, DM!' After all, its what you don't get paid the big bucks to do...

My first had a similar 'trapped in the mid-west' theme to it. Was trapped at a private (aka conservative) engineering school in Indiana and ended up chatting online with this guy from the state university campus across town...

I went over to his dorm room to 'watch a movie' as our first in-person date (oh, to be that naive again). I get there, he pops in 'Conspiracy Theory’ and since there was really no other furniture, we ended up sitting on his bed. About 10 mins in, we’re snuggling/holding hands, about 10 mins more till we’re kissing, not long after full-on making out and it ended about 15 mins later with my pants around my ankles and his face buried in my crotch.

Call me a helpless romantic but it wasn’t what I was expecting on a first date. Or even the 3rd or 4th.

Although, I just went on a ‘first date’ last weekend that consisted of watching a movie at his place, staying up until 3 am talking over a bottle of wine and half a bottle of vodka, me staying over because I was ‘too drunk’ to drive home, and us having wild monkey sex before passing out in his bed.

Is it possible to be a helpless romantic and a slut?

~Dorrin

swine said...

idk what the hell ur talkin' bout maybe 90% of the time Dave but on this I lmao. Takes guts to admit u hooked up w/that -- I don't mean how he looks -- a Republican????

Aaron said...

my 'losing my virginity' story is even worse..well at least somebody else wasted their cherry and it wasn't just me, its nice how you justified it to make yourself feel better, that's right sweetie, it was for the best, it really was...

swine said...

Admit it Dave -- u picked Minnesota cuz u wanted to be Mary Tyler Moore. Hmmm . . . maybe that's where the hat thing started?

Anonymous said...

i mean, dave, he's really not THAT bad looking. even with the lack of chin thing going on, i'd still let him put it in my butt. and then i'd clench down hard so he couldn't escape and drag him via 'ass-cuff' to his local GOP headquarters for show and tell.

and i too swiped my 'v' card at college with a guy i met online. no movies, no romancing. just bareback with his roomates sleeping and my ass lubed with ... dare i say it... hair gel. not only stupid, but my poo smelled like 'dep' for a week. would be so much funnier if i was kidding.

duaner said...

wait...what part was judge-y? anonymous (the first) resorts to the bloggentary equivalent of the timeless (and pointless) schoolyard taunt, "i know you are, but what am i?".

i'm just really confused about what there was to react to? could that poster actually be mr. xxxxxxx?! :O cuz i can't really see anyone else giving a shit about anything you said (by give a shit i mean finding it somehow offensive, clearly.)...

meanwhile, anonymous the last's account had me roaring...