Tuesday, January 12, 2010

In my experience.....


Brazilians, Israelis and most of all MINNESOTANS seem to have the highest populations of people who LIKE TO LIE. Im not saying they all do OF COURSE, but I am saying the phrase "She crayzee" gets used more often around them then others, but before you come for me:
1. Everybody is nuts.
2. Im nuts.
3. No gay, me especially, has ever NOT slept with someone because their nuts, at least once.
I cant say why for Brazil because Ive never been there, but the ones here seem to like a TALL TALE and all have BLONDE MOTHERS ( "Like you!" they love to say) and FANCY FAMILIES yet magically they have brown eyes and live in JERSEY- Which is why i think theyre hot, but they seem to think blue eyes are UPSCALE...theyve never been to GLENS FALLS. My friend who lived there says that culturally they have less issues about lying and that if you believe it its youre fault. He was also scared of BREAD, so I take that insight lightly. Israel I dunno and dont wanna go there because theyre trained to kill but I think a decent portion would come from the fact that, youd be crazy too if everyone around you wished you didnt exist, but Minnesotans I KNOW why. Theyre BONKERS MULROONEY! I went to school in Minnesota , for a year, and they have this CREEPY FALSE IDENTITY they call "Minnesota nice" its this TOTALLY FAKE put on they schlep to outsiders that "they are nicer then the rest of the world" and you know that if a person has to TELL YOU "Im a GOOD PERSON" then they are DEFINITELY SATANIC! My roommate for the one year I lived there claimed to have a mother who was a country music star in japan, and a BRAIN TUMOR, which is how he got out of school without paying. Then that summer I went back to MPLS from Calarts to work at the GAY GYM and the friend I met there claimed to be KIDNAPPED as a child and also PERSONALLY CAPTURED a SERIAL RAPIST in the BEST BUY parking lot?!! THEN when I moved to NYC I ran into a different Minnesotan I knew from Cal Arts at a party and he told me how he was opening a LUXURY SPA which normally wouldnt sound too outrageous except for the fact that the person he was with looked BAFFLED as he said it and when I turned around I heard her say " What were you talking about?" and he said "Oh, if you say something it makes it come true?!" ....GROSS AND BARF!?!
Now as I say this lord knows I'll still fuck an israelite and a brazilian but honeslty if some blue eyed, AVEDA scented ( I actually love the smell though), TOE HEADED CRACKER, from Minnesota comes for me Im am STEERING CLEAR of her WACKED OUT BETTY CROCKER ASS.

4 comments:

witomski said...

Dave....Rose Nylund was from Minnesota. I think the writers were onto something.....Joe

youreviltwin said...

i was on and off with a brazillian dude for 7+ years, and i have NEVER broken up with anyone more often. i wouldn't say he's INSANE, but i would say that mentally, he is "structurally unsound."

BRANDON JOSEPH PIERRE said...

this is funny, the brazil guy with BLONDE MOTHERS and FANCY FAMILIES,thats not a brazillian thing, that a latin thing, im here in miami, latin are every where, and they all say the are rich in there country, they wont blonde mothers or white mothers becuase they don't wont the black side of the history to show. by the way if you wont real "crayzee" peeps come to miami

Mathieu said...

I lived in Rio for 7 months and kind of crushed on this guy who I realise now was kind of manipulative and most probably lying about a lot of stuff, so there's some truth in this... but he was and still is in a kind of shit situation so I guess I can forgive him. Still, I'm wiser now and don't fall victim to it! But it's annoying when you meet one that seems genuine but you still are left wondering in the back of your mind what if...