Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Ok I have a lot to report but I think im gonna just keep it short and sweet.

LOS ANGELES: I went to L.A and brought Phil for the Slick It Up "corporate retreat" and had a blast. I did voice overs for MULTINAUTS which is something I never did before and had a lot of fun. We just recorded me doing all these Scooby Doo villain style laughs for the party massacre scene in the first episode and it was sorta amazing. Im sorta good at them if I do say so myself:) I wish I had a way of posting them here but imagine your GAY UNCLE working for HANNA BARBERA and thats it.
I love L.A but I will say that sun does SO MUCH SKIN DAMAGE?!. I go to the Golds there which I love but I see these guys that have been there forever and their skin is WRECKED and Im not saying it to be mean or anything its just sorta shocking though to see that sun damage is REAL and you can see it on their faces when I go back every six months. Moisturize NOW people, and this IS kinda a read but I LOVE LA so dont get me wrong, but would the gays of LA be so hard pressed to dress age appropriate and have ONE natural hair fiber? Im ALL INTO A DADDY but daddy for me does NOT wear an A&F shirt and have BLONDE hair?!! If they owned their daddyness theyd be a million times more hot, the ones that do there are HOT and SMART. Nobody is into a 53 year old GAY TEENAGER.... BUT I will say I dont mind if you dye your hair DARKER, Im sorta into that actually. Again this wasnt meant to be a read, just an observation. Oh I also stood in line for 45 minutes with my friends to go to the Eagle on saturday night but the line never moved and the person in front of us was wearing ANGEL?! ANGEL???! Angel is like the most RIPE PARFUME EVAR?!!! My friends and I used to JOKE about wearing ANGEL to a leather bar because "Whaaa??? Mugler is Fetische?!" I couldnt beleive someone was seriously doing it, Im never gonna lay you kind sir but I give you credit for NERVE, but please dont stand near me because your odor is SOCIAL SUICIDE.
Paris: Of course it was fierce as usual. I did another shoot with Exterface and went to their gallery opening and they were TOTAL DOLLS and I think this shoot is going to be my most over the top shoot I have ever done! I got to stay at my friend Francois' house who is the MOST PHOTOGENIC person in the universe, the guy cant take a bad picture, I was introduced to him by Francy and we all had a great dinner at this uber frenchy place that was pretty fantastic with stained glass peacocks and stuff on the walls and sexy waiters in tuxedos.
London: I took the Eurostar over which I never had before which my Frenchy friends said was DUSTY AND OLD but I thought it was FANCY. I mean coming from NY being fed rolls with TONGS on the train is PRETTY FUCKING INCREDIBLE compared to being a fed a GIRLS WEAVE as two teenage girls battle it out ON YOUR LAP on your train to the gym here in NYC. BOTH HAVE MERITS!, but I think I have to go with the CARB FEATURE THANKS. I went for the day to see my friend Graham who is sorta the sweetest guy ever and we went to the gym there and ALL OF LONDON IS ON THE MONES?! I was actually feeling SKINNY and VERY SELF CONSCIOUS!, not even kidding. We went to this club Saturday night and I was a RANCID TWAT because I felt so uncomfortable because of the level of drugs and ROIDATION, it took hours to become acclimated and to feel comfortable. I seriously just felt so out of place and SKINNY, it was bizarre. I remembered feeling the same way when I first arrived in Madrid last year so I knew I just needed to take my shirt off and join them and get OVER MYSELF. I also made a mistake of bringing Graham champagne as a gift and we had if before heading out and that stuff just makes my stomach feel FETTED! So when he asked me if I wanted to go to the after party at like 3 am I was sorta like "Um NO, IM MISERABLE and SHIVERING IN THE CORNER because IM NOT ON DRUGS and WHAT THE HELL KIND OF CLUB BLASTS AIR CONDITIONING IN FEBRUARY, Plays "Rhythm of the night" TWICE, and has a RIP OFF Leigh Bowery, please get me out of here NOW?!" but I knew I was being a TOTAL TWAT and was just operating out of insecurity so i said" Sure lets do it" well it couldnt have been a better move. The after party turned out to be a TOTAL BLAST and SO MUCH BETTER then the first party and I was all happy and made out with a SUPER CUTEY who was serving you roman legionnaire realness but was totally British which made for a rad combo. I hope the total 180 wasnt due to the fact that I took METHADRONE which is this LEGAL drug they have there that everyone is LINING UP to buy. It was weird you dont feel any effect from it but magically I didnt feel all insecure or tired yet i didnt feel any kind of enhanced anything, like no caffeine jitters or "high" I just wasnt tired and suddenly didnt hate everything..but I was also feeling better just from the cuter dudes, better music, and better venue. I dunno Im hoping that my attitude adjustment and the cute dude had something to do with it being better as I hate relying on some kind of vice to have a good time. OH, this was one weird cultural thing of note. This is what people say to you when you meet them in London at a club "Hi whats your name?.... HOW OLD ARE YOU?" Like EVERY GUY asked me that and after the 8-9 time I seriously had to say to this guy, who was also totally sweet, that where Im from you dont ask a STRANGER their age as its considered RUDE. I said it the nicest way possible as I know he didnt mean it as rude but to me that question is setting yourself on THIN ICE and sorta equivalent to saying "Hi, Do you look GOOD or BAD for your age?" I mean they all were surprised to hear i was 34 so I guess thats good because they all thought i was like 26 or 28 but STILL youd think of all places as place as proper as London wouldnt go asking you your age, at least theyre honest i guess. I was pleasantly surprised by London and couldnt believe there were so many cute guys, its amazing what a little testosterone can do for an isolated gay population stuck on a rock under a cloud in the middle of the Atlantic.
Anyways, I had fun, Im totally exhausted and have to get to the gym for a proper workout!


Anonymous said...

WOW! Sounds like you had a great time!

Anonymous said...

Great trip report!

Couple of thoughts for ya~

OK Mr. Sexy man you should NEVER have to wait to get into ANY leather/fetish bar, EVER. That's just plain crazy...drop Charlie a note next time when in LA.

All "the boys" maybe on the mones but frankly it just isn't hot. What's HOT is your effort and dedication to working out and having a NATURALLY muscular bod, along with the good genetics you received in life. Don't EVER feel insufficient, EVER! Take that shirt off and work it!

Lastly, I didn't realize how much joy reading your blog brings me until you weren't here the past two weeks. You expose us to a world many of us only have limited access too but it is so fascinating! Glad you made it home safely and are blogging again!


LUCIEN said...

I luv your stream of consciousness type verbage on your blog - it reads easily and good; its like an excited mind is thinking out loud - and you excite us all in your red shredder suit pic above :-)
Ye haw thas Purty

James said...

What a wonderful read that was. It sounds like you had an incredible time. I till you David, you really should write a book. You are so incredibly witty. The line about being fed weave on the train had me in stitches laughing.

Anonymous said...

"I took the Eurostar over which I never had before which my Frenchy friends said was DUSTY AND OLD but I thought it was FANCY. I mean coming from NY being fed rolls with TONGS on the train is PRETTY FUCKING INCREDIBLE compared to being a fed a GIRLS WEAVE as two teenage girls battle it out ON YOUR LAP on your train to the gym here in NYC. BOTH HAVE MERITS!, but I think I have to go with the CARB FEATURE THANKS."

I think this may be the best thing I ever read on your blog THANKS.

Chris said...

Hey Stud
Great to meet you in person finally in the parking lot at Gold's!
Glad you made it home safely!
- Chris

David Mason said...

Hey chris nice to meet you too, and to the others who liked my weave comment thank you!

Aaron said...

Welcome home Dearie...

Stan said...

some folks say after traveling through Europe with it's high speed rails coming back to the states is like coming back to a 3rd world country.

gavin said...

"He was serving you roman legionnaire realness but was totally British which made for a rad combo."

That shouldn't surprise you. The British used to BE Roman. Rome occupied and ruled Britain from about 43 A.D. until 410.

They gave it the name "Britannia," intermixed with the native Celts and Romanized them.


Haven't you heard of Hadrian's Wall, the famous, fortified barrier erected by Roman Emperor Hadrian to protect Roman Britain from the barbarian Picts and Celts to the north?

So serving Roman Legionnaire dominance should come naturally to the Brits.

BTW: Hadrian's most prominent lover was a dude. The Romans respected, honored and celebrated Antinous as essentially the first lady of the empire. They loved him so much, that they made him a god and worshipped him for a couple hundred years after his death; before Christianity took over.

Here's a demonstration of Antinous's bottoming skills in Egypt by 19th century French eroticist Édouard-Henri Avril:


Anonymous said...

How the fuck tall are you?!?

David Mason said...

im 6 3.5

MikeyG said...

Great Trip, David! ;)

Here is what I've been doin' waitin' on your updates... <_< LOL

Serve it up, biatch:


Mathieu said...

I missed your posts in my Google Reader too. Thought you had made 2 mil hits and then quit!

I had to say that I hear you on London. I love the way you call things that I brush over as just kind of weird - like roidtards at parties shouting HOW OLD ARE YOU? I felt quite tubby and out of place, but I took it off anyway.

I went to this one in April last year, What was it "Kitchen Sink" or some other dishwashing sounding name?? Anyway I wasn't doing drugs either so it was difficult to get into it - I ended up spending a FORTUNE just getting drunk. At least it was a spectacle. And yes the music was terrible, just Kylie then Madonna and then Kylie again. To be fair I met some ok people there, but seriously these people do this all the time? Really?
We went to an after party another night, some place where JT shot a video clip? It was under a train line. Was there until dawn where this tranny (I think?) came up to me probably sideways on K and started speaking complete and utter GIBBERISH to me as I was sitting biding time till I could leave. It was at that point that I confirmed my beliefs that I should never move to London.

Oh and yes Eurostar is a little dusty but I still think it's awesome, especially compared to the NYC subway which is filthy although don't you find the rats kind of cute and entertaining?