Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Its nice to know that anti gay types really are just jilted cock suckers and closet homosexuals( I was the closet homosexual in this case?!)

Ok So I crashed and went to bed at 7:30 tonight after eating two stuffed cabbage, a cupcake bigger then my fist, a quart of strawberries and a peanut butter protein bar, so now im UP. I decided to look people up on facebook. FINALLY this old best friend I had is on there. THE ONE WHO REALLY WANTED TO SUCK MY DICK WHEN I WAS 13.
He has like this hyper hetero page with quotes like "save a tree and eat a beaver" and "I like all music except GAY ASS techno" AND the only group hes a member of is the SELMA HAYEK group, and I guess hes a cop....
Ok let me paint the picture. We were 12 or 13, its the weekend and were "lifting weights" at my house, we didnt know what the fuck we were doing, just doing arm curls ON THE COUCH while watching tv. Its a very Bel Ami / Terry Richardson (ick) / Saved by the Bell moment ( Saved by the Bell is also ick but not as ick as Terry Richardson, it chaps my ass thats hes a legit reference because hes such a gross person in my very limited experience with him but it was a fitting descriptive term so forgive me. Oh and I should clarify yes HE was gross but his assistants were really the grubs that pushed it over the edge, one looked like a PEDOPHILE CHILD STRANGLER and the other SAT IN CORNER AND ATE FOOD WITH HER HANDS, which you know is EXACTLY why they got the job!... SUCH a hobo party for the son of a rich guy, one of my BIGGEST PEEVES. Fake poor and fake talent when its really just your dad who had the talent and its fun for you to drag his name through the mud because youre an over privileged, under loved child of someone with actual talent and drive so they were SHITTY PARENTS. Sorry but almost EVERYBODYS DAD SUCKS, get over it, and stop making us deal with your rage and masking it as gritty and real and art, its just a bratty kid breaking a vase for attention..... WOW?! Guess I had some UNTAPPED RAGE myself, the victim being Mr. Richardson... glad I can blog it out...sorry you had to read that but Im not sorry I said it. It was honest and Im so over dealing with THAT PERSON. Remember I went to Cal Arts and spent four years with THAT PERSON.... It makes you hate art for real, but that hate for the bullshit makes you REALLY appreciate real talent and craft and so on so THANK YOU GOD FOR TERRY RICHARDSON so I can TRULY APPRECIATE REAL TALENT...See how I made those lemons into lemonade.. the therapy IS WORKING?!;) and you know what I must say Im also JEALOUS that he makes a ton of money making crap. Im jealous, So Im HALF jealous and half all the other stuff I said... I'll own my shit but it doesnt lessen the other stuff I said, Im just saying its not motivated out of PURE LOVE FOR THE ARTS, its also motivated out of jealousy.. I'll own up to it, its just hard to handle someone like that when you actually werent rich (though Im not saying I was under privileged by any means) and these rich brats ran around and claimed to be "real" and "artists" and NOT just the angry and spolied child of a rich person, all any of us wanted to do was strangle them. )
...Anyways ( sorry for the long winded art rant) we both get boners and decide to jerk off which is actually a NEW THING TO DO?! but he is like you sit in front of me and I will jerk you off ( and I wanna say suck you), and im like "Um.. I dont think so." fearing that it was just WAY TOO GAY so being the crazy semi-german emotionally detached self loathing closet homosexual polbot thing I was/ is ( getting over it) Im like "Lets jerk off at the same time but in SEPARATE ROOMS?!?!?" It made PERFECT SENSE to me as a retarded child and didnt seem THAT GAY, so we do it but I honestly got freaked out by JUST THAT and it ruined our friendship and we never really hung out after that. I handled that POORLY and regret it but I was SURE I was gonna get outed as the BIG FAG I knew I was, ugh.. I feel bad. Lesson learned. I guess because I was the REAL GAY and it freaked me out, too much, too soon, too "real". The real life role reversal is interesting, did I sour him on gayness and snub him to soon and turn him into a bitter heterosexual who now hates gays forever because he got LEFT AT THE GAY ALTER WITH HIS MOUTH OPEN?! A modern day Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty?! Oh you know he is just a GLORY HOLE FIEND nowadays...
Anyways, I find it funny that the dude is a JILTED COCK SUCKER yet has anti gay shit on his page and loves Selma Hayek who was my first "modeling" job ever and she posed on my lap with her tits in my face and I could have cared less. She was such a MEAN TWAT I would have rather done it with HER in SEPARATE ROOMS.


Martha Stewart said...

Dear David,

By now, we've learned oral sex is not your thing.

Just think - if he'd offered to facesit you in a Skeletor costume, things might have turned out a lot differently.

Martha Stewart

David Mason said...

Its SO TRUE and he did have a nice ass!

gavin said...

Was he at least hot when you were 13?

I never had any gay come-ons that forward when I was under 19.

But I did have a morbidly obese, bath-depraved white trash kid recline on my bed in repose and ask me to draw him; like Kate Winslet in TITANIC or something.

He thought he was hot shit. Picture Jabba the Hutt pulling Bettie Page poses.

Kurt Walters said...

uh.. so what's his name.. I mean we should all be able to stare at him, even if he doesn't unlock his profile.. we can at least glide by in those people mover pods from Disneyland and gape..

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm . . . I don't know if I'm more turned on by what might have happened with your adolescent buddy or your description about how much you eat.

Lucien said...

it went the way of "YOUTH IS WASTED ON THE YOUNG" syndrome !
But lllo at it this way - It only made busting out gay later that much more fun !?!?!