Thursday, March 25, 2010

When fighting an invisible man use a FIRE EXTINGUISHER!

I have not been sleeping well lately at all. Ive been falling asleep early like 11 and have to crash which I do for like 3 hours and then Im UP. It sucks. I feel SEMI rested but not fully rested. Its 3:35 am and I have nothing to do because I cant sleep, so here I am....alone... with YOU... I just woke from a dream where I was in a haunted house, but it was the house I grew up in, fighting my old frenemy GLEN BENNER, who in reality got arrested in my home town for cocaine possession last year, but he was INVISIBLE so it was more like fighting a FLOATING KNIFE. There was lots of dramatic slashing going on but I never got cut. I used the FIRE EXTINGUISHER on the wall to "see" him (did my subconscious steal this idea from a movie? I think it did) and then BEAT him to DEATH with it?!..... Whats the point of this dream????... I think its.. DONT FUCK WITH ME GLEN BENNER YOU COKE WHORE!

Oh and can I just ask WHY ARE YOU DOING COKE in GLENS FALLS!?!? Surprisingly I know MANY people who have visited Glens Falls, the town I'm from, and mentioned how its such a COKE TOWN, MANY PEOPLE, I never knew this growing up. What could you possibly do with a COKE HIGH in the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE?! You have nobody interesting to talk to, no social anxiety to overcome because youre in a room full of beautiful people that make you feel like a PIEROGI on a platter of CANAPES, and NOWHERE to GO. So there is no excuse for a COKE HABIT.. I lived 18 years of my life there and BELIEVE ME once FRIENDLYS is closed there is no WATTAMELON ROLL to be had and hence NOTHING to do! We already stole everyones garden gnomes, 63 to be precise, and put them in drag and set them up in the woods for a HAPLESS MOUNTAIN MAN to discover, so dont even think of doing that one!! We ALSO already threw OCTOPI on the windshields of peoples parked cars in the WINTER which is fierce because I know that if I woke up and found a FROZEN OCTOPUS on my windshield I be TOTALLY HAPPY so you cant do that one either! So THERE is the PROOF! There is NOTHING left to do! So I cannot find any reason what-so-ever to being doing a PARTY DRUG in the WOODS!?! Glen Benner get yer shit together and find a hobby!

8 comments:

fairviewsue said...

We used to steal lawn balls. Why do people buy those???? The people down the street from me have a garden gnome. I feel it is one of Snow White's dwarves, so there must be 6 more...

When I wake up at 3 AM, I read a dirty or boring book, or I relax because I don't have to get up yet. I don't allow myself to get really up as you say you are.

Stan said...

I don't know about you but whenever I take a capsule of the Methyldrene early or mid-day I tend to crash early that evening.
I don't mind it so much but it's a bitch when you wake up too early like that. I don't take the Methyldrene every day but have noticed this happening.

David Mason said...

Youre the second person to mention this to me in a week! Interesting...

youreviltwin said...

well hello, dali!

melt my clock, why don't you.

David Mason said...

Melt my clock! pah hah

youreviltwin said...

well, in ONE POST you worked in watermelon shaped ice cream cake, invisible cocaine addicted knife fighters, frozen windshield octopussies, a small village of cross dressing garden gnomes...

if that's not surreal, i don't know what is.

gavin said...

In your dream, how did you use the fire extinguisher to locate the invisible Glen Benner?

Did you spray a cloud of gas around him to reveal his form, like the steam pipes used against Kevin Bacon in HOLLOW MAN? 0:48 in the clip:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nf2GexbUqyQ&feature=PlayList&p=CD468B63C93163F7&index=8

Bashing Glen's head in with a fire extinguisher sounds like IRREVERSIBLE:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIITT0WU9Gg

As for the city-wide coke habit mystery: A LOT of working class people use cocaine just to get them through physically grueling work days.

ESPECIALLY restaurants and factories. All of my friends who are waiters or bartenders say everyone uses coke on the job.

fang said...

Christ almighty Sir, your dreams sound like an Alejandro Jodorowsky movie! =0