Monday, April 5, 2010

Clash of the Titans...

I think this movie in particular is the best example of how cgi really doesnt do much for us anymore. When used in moderation or for accent and background effects I think theyre great but seeing this movie with the CARTOON medusa in contrast to the original Ray Harryhausen Medusa you really were able to see how much more interesting the stop motion monsters and "hands on" approach of classic special effects are more impressive and interesting. Yes theyre less believable but when the cgi is so HEAVY it looks even worse, like your eyes cant even focus on it....
Like Alice in Wonderland this movie was also in 3d for NO REASON. I hate to be a CRAB APPLE but its not worth seeing. The computer effects guy must have also worked on transformers as they introduced this new character that was basically a Decepticon. That wasnt the only rip off though, the Kraken was the Cloverfield monster, the Stigeon witches were from Pans Labyrinth, and the transformer face dude borrowed his costume from 300... I know its a remake and all but you dont have to completely throw in the towel on creativity people....
This movie would be fine watching it on a PLANE, but dont bother going to see it. It just sorta did nothing, we all just sat there bored. It never served it to you.


gavin said...


That "Jin" character does look like a Decepticon!

I thought his wardrobe was recycled from the Persians in 300 and his complexion was ripped off from Keenser in the new STAR TREK movie:

I couldn't believe how many other movies they were ripping off.

I mean, they gave Perseus a lightsaber?!

The mounted, giant scorpions are just the Easterlies' mounted Oliphants from LORD OF THE RINGS.

Medusa's lair was drilled into the mountain and given dangerous, dilapidated stone bridges over lava pits like the Mines of Moria or Mount Doom in LORD OF THE RINGS.

They modeled Perseus's comrades on the Fellowship instead of leaving them generic (Io = Erwyn and Eusebios = Legolas).

The sweeping, panoramic helicopter shots of the "faux Fellowship" dashing across mountaintops single-file was SO LORD OF THE RINGS.

I even think Charon's boat on the River Styx was largely derived from the Trojan Horse in TROY:

But my biggest problems with the new CLASH OF THE TITANS are the constant lapses in logic and a plot that I can't believe.

Mortals who believe in the gods and know their powers, but still think they can beat them in an open war?

Mortals who need the gods for all of nature's cooperation yet still ask why they need the gods?

Trying to introduce Perseus to combat training FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HIS LIFE while they're approaching the enemy?

In the authentic legends and the original CLASH, Perseus was already a seasoned soldier long before his monster encounters. In history, men of his age and ability were REQUIRED to serve in a militia and train as well.

But this movie is like, "We have five minutes before you meet the monster. Let me teach you how to SWORD FIGHT!"

And how about Perseus's surprise lightning powers to banish Hades at the end? All of that suspense for nothing; they just cheaply changed the rules because their 2 hours were up!

Later, Zeus decides to reverse his order to annihilate the mortals because he forgot that would kill his son Perseus, too.

Then there's the long list of offenses mischaracterizing the authentic myths and legends -- especially removing the romance between Perseus and Andromeda or putting Hades at odds with Zeus, or the Kraken as the weapon that brought Zeus to power, or the Kraken in Greek mythology at all!

Give me a fucking break.

I'll give CLASH OF THE TITANS credit for good fight scenes with the scorpions and Medusa. And it usually looked pretty good, even though it STOLE most of its looks from other movies.

But the story and characters all sucked. So did the weak-ass 3-D, which added nothing to it.

I'll keep my fingers crossed for when the OTHER half of the producers from 300 give the reigns over to Tarsem Singh for a Greek fantasy epic of their own.

At least Singh will have some wholly original visuals to get me through the Greek fantasy knockoff craze:

CLASH OF THE TITANS produced low expectations at the box office this weekend. It made $10 million less than 300 and audiences polled only gave it a grade of "B" through Cinemascore, which is more like a "C" in practical terms.

So hopefully, the two sequels planned for CLASH OF THE TITANS won't get off the ground.

youreviltwin said...

harryhausen rules. i'm glad the remake came out because it reminds you just how fucking rad his shit was, and how much more dynamic traditional, not CG effects can be, even if they are less real. plus, there's something about the jerkiness of the stop motion that's really effectively creepy for otherworldly monsters, like medusa for example.

younger people that grew up from jurrassic park on often have ATTITUDE about non CG effects, though... this 18 year old i dated for a few months acted like i'd suggested we murder his family and rape their corpses when i asked him if he'd seen Gremlins (he HADN'T?!?!!). he said, and i quote:

"Seth, i'm not going to watch a movie with puppets."

i was shocked! who hates Gremlins? that movie's awesome, and i watched it the other day, and it aged well, i think.

Erik said...

It´s not even real 3D - it was filmed in 2D and they did a cheap add-on 3D job on it.

Lucien said...

oh verily Dave - this one was a poor movie . even some of the kids in the theatre got borerd and starting talking out loud about wanting to go home. THey should have released the kraken 20 secs into the film and eaten the camerman

Anonymous said...

I grew up watching the original, and stupidly I was excited to see the remake. Now I feel like I took some rough-trade daddy home, only to get him undressed and find he has a VAGINA! The re-make is so terrible, and I on;y wish I'd seen your review BEFORE I went and saw it, so I might have been forwarned.

Did you guys notice Sam Worthington's unbearable Australian accent; or is that something only other Aussies cringe over? Honestly - I hope I don't sound like he does.

AAAAND... Hades was practically Voldemort! Ralph seems to have been type-cast. And what the fuck was that poor hair job? I could see the stubble where his forehead was supposed to be bald!

Angry Australian queeny rant over!

Martini said...

And it had the worst male hair ever to be seen in a movie. Every guy? Had the worst. Hair. Ever.