Friday, April 16, 2010

Elegy for Gym Crush:

My friend who is a young, brainy, cute, deeply inward Dr of some kind of OLDE TYMEY literature wrote what I think is a very sweet elegy for Alejandro Bulaevsky who went to our gym and recently passed away during what I imagine was a fetish scene involving breath control. None of us knew him, but we all knew him "KINDA". About a month ago I had decided that I was going to smile at him because I felt like I should be friends with him because I felt we had a lot in common, and he was cute. The response was sorta NON, but he was also 26 and I would have done the EXACT same thing at 26 because I was too scared to smile, and when youre not used to it its very hard to make a smile when someone randomly throws one at you. It goes to show you I shoulda been more friendly from day one and just because theyre young and cute it doesnt mean there gonna be around forever...
I sorta didnt know how to take his death. On one hand it was sorta scary as I have been into similar stuff and been dangerous about it, though I suggest NEVER doing handcuffs mind you, but I dont even know if he personally put them on. Also another random feeling was this strange notion of feeling like one of "us" died. We all knew him, most of us went to the same gym and for "us" the gym is sorta our "church", conceptually, so we are all very loosely in a similar mind set, we were into similar stuff sexually, same dress, he had the same gay rage most of of have / had, it was sorta shocking to see one of us "taken down", were all so distant and rarely even say hi to one another here in NYC. Where as if we were in a smaller pool of fish we probably HAVE TO BE best friends or at least WORST ENEMYS. Its an unfortunate situation but a good lesson. I think all the media attention around his death is back handedly anti gay... Stop acting like a body suit and a hood is shocking, youre only saying that to say "Gays are freaks and they die because of it"... I've sold around 7 pieces of clothing a day in the same genre for the past 5 years.... that makes for 12,775 people running around in a bodysuit and NOBODY even knows about Slick It Up and because I advertise on google a good portion of the people who do know are STRAIGHT so STOP TRYIN IT and stop dragging this kids name through the dirt as if hes the only person into fetish, so you can sell ad space... I dont read the paper for this reason alone. In my opinion there is not one thing in the paper that has ever actually effected me personally besides the WEATHER, and I can get that just as INACCURATELY on my Iphone thank you. I think people like to IMAGINE the news pertains to them, but for the most part it doesnt.... its just a medium for ad space. If it was news you wouldnt need the paper to tell you about it.. Your friend would call you on the phone and say "That ripped kid with the latin /russian name and the gun tattoo died?!"

Anyways, here is a very nice elegy for a gym crush:

Oh cry for passer-by, oh cry for him,
Oh cry for stranger that you never knew.
Oh weep for body, face, and final whim.
Oh weep for me, and weep again for you.
Adonis died, who I saw at the gym,
He had tanned skin and a gun tattoo.
Once I saw him waiting for the R.
When it came we got on the same car.

I sometimes saw him on the stairs at night--
Before I had to take my train uptown--
The locker rooms are filled with dim orange light,
And there we would exchange a dim orange frown,
Appraisal made with approbation slight;
I’d be going up and he’d be coming down.
On lucky nights I saw him all undressed:
Of all the boys his body was the best.

Once I saw him at the beach and swooned.
I fancied seeing him among the pines
Or solitary, naked on the dunes,
All lithe muscle, svelte waistline.
I saw him years ago at NYU;
Then I thought him straight (but quite divine).
I do not know when I first saw his eyes.
I saw them last just days before he died.

Something went awry, for sure, the papers said,
His gorgeous body all in latex clad;
He wore handcuffs, a gas mask on his head;
It seemed as if he’d gone a little mad.
He died--for sure?--For sure, he is now dead,
Adonis of the gym, the Tisch School grad.
That’s all I knew of him. And yet I say to cry:
Cry for him, and us who’ve yet to die.

4 comments:

Murray said...

This is so sad. A man has died - does it matter/is it relevant what the circumstances were? No. Only to the 'media' and their viewers/readers who believe everything they see and read. If it's printed in black and white it MUST be true, right?

Something similar happened over here a few weeks ago. A TV presenter called Kristian Digby was found dead in his house. He was very handsome, openly gay and very popular on daytime TV as a kinda 'home makeover' type programme host. I often saw him as he lived not far from me. Of course his death made headline news, not least because he was GAY (and therefore, of course, a target of vilification by the media) but because he was found alone and NEAR his body police found a BAG and a BELT and therefore the more tawdry newspapers immediately assumed he died in an act of auto-erotic asphyxiation. A post mortem proved inconclusive. Maybe that was the cause of his death. But did his poor parents/family need to have that broadcast to the world? No. An that is why I agree with you Dave, newspapers are nothing ad space.

Aaron said...

Jesus chirst that's sad..

youreviltwin said...

that's so fucking sad, dave.

fairviewsue said...

So tragic that a young man has died.