Saturday, April 17, 2010

Go see KICK ASS!!!

Kick Ass is surprisingly pretty fuckin major?! I can honestly say I dont know the last time I experienced such audience participation in a film, they were all clapping and screaming and stuff, and it was a crowd of CRACKERS?!! I even applauded three times during the movie and I NEVER do that?! The first time is when the little girl first kicks ass and just before her claws come out she calls everyone in the room a CUNT, the rest of the audience was SILENT, my friend Daniel and I HOOTED! The rest of the crowd didnt know how to take it at first, then when she started CHOPPING PEOPLE LEGS OFF they knew what she meant! I forget how hung up on pronouns and such heterosexuals are, its as though theyre more insulted you called them a name for a woman then the actual insult itself. They didnt know how to handle a little gurl calling a bunch of straight black guys a CUNT. It made my day and sealed it for me.
The movie is smart and clever and funny and even new. I HATE CHILDREN and I was really prepared to NOT be into a CHILD in a PURPLE WIG from WALGREENS pretending she could ever hurt anyone, but she was MAY-JAH! I know its hard to believe but I was INTO her, by the end she is like running AT the people shooting at her and it seems REAL, girl is like ducking and bobbing all football style, its incredible. She does some of the best kills ive ever seen. I was particularly fond of her usage of her MANRIKI, the chain with the knives on the end - yes I knew it was called a manriki remember I was a boy growing up. Shes everything you wanted to be as a child because I can attest to the INSANE RAGE and PSYCHOTIC THOUGHTS you have as a child and THANKFULLY never act on, but she has the stuff to back them up and the child DELIVERS...
Kick Ass himself whos name in the film I cant remember but its actually Dave Something-Polllocky , so I could relate, is SNEAKY HOT. He doesnt hit you over the head but you know if he shaved his hair off that narrow head and THICK neck would be FUCK WORTHY, he has a nice MEATY ASS TOO. I thought the main villain was hot as well serving that late forties receding hairline because of too much testosterone thing that I get way hot for, some of his goons gave guido fetish as well. Even the hetero make out scene was good, usually I SNORE through that part but this scene was so 80s aware it just seemed smart.
I highly suggest going to see it if youre a fan of my blog as I think there would be enough in common for you to like it. I call my friend that I went with "Mama Cass" and even a hippie like HIM was into it and this was well out of his usual genre. So if you have the time go for it, its a real crowd pleaser and a lot of fun.


gavin said...

What I like about the little girl is that she still comes across as a vulnerable and true child, despite being ridiculously tough.

Compare her to Kim Possible, the little girl from NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN, the bratty girl in SPY KIDS, the warrior girl from PERCY JACKSON, Dakota Fanning in PUSH (or Dakota Fanning in ANYTHING). These ass-kicking girls are artificially mature and invincible to the point of being obnoxious. They don't have any flaws, they don't make mistakes and they don't resemble real human beings, let alone little girls.

Hit Girl is contrived, too. But at least she falters once or twice and the girl playing her is warm and child-like. The constant shifting of Nicholas Cage from her warm, nurturing parent to her ass-kicking death instructor is HILARIOUS and an acknowledgement that the filmmakers know it's not terribly realistic.

Cage was brilliant -- did you notice when he became Big Daddy he changed his performance? He was DEFINITELY channeling ADAM WEST:!v=RLZQ3OLEJWE&feature=related

Three minor criticisms of KICK ASS:

1) The good guys were as cruel as the bad guys. Big Daddy and Hit Girl enjoyed unnecessary murder as much as the thugs. A lot of gratuitous, "let's pulverize this witness in a garbage compactor just for shits and giggles" kind of stuff. I know they're trying to be cute, but it didn't work for me. The audience loses respect and sympathy for characters who do this. Sometimes, movies are too cool for their own good.

2) They marketed this movie as a light character comedy and a spoof, but it's a GRISLY, ULTRA-VIOLENT ACTION FLICK. It has comic elements, but it's much more a typical graphic comic or John Woo actioner at heart. There are many overt references to John Woo, SIN CITY, Quentin Tarantino, etc. throughout the film.

I wondered why there were no great jokes or sketches in the trailer -- now I know it's because they were FALSELY ADVERTISING, probably to get more women to see it as women dislike this genre.

If you want to see a TRUE comedy spoof of super hero movies, go see SUPERHERO MOVIE. You won't regret it, I swear!

3) HOMOPHOBIA. Both Hit Girl and the arch villain use "that's gay!" to describe anything they think is weak, stupid or lame, such as Kick Ass's tights or the taser. Both good and bad characters say "cocksucker" like it's a bad thing. As a gay man, I'm sick and tired of being constantly shit on every time I see a movie. Tasers don't have sexual orientations and being gay kicks ass in and of itself. But KICK ASS will remind any gay person who watches it that we're still not welcome.

That said, I still loved the movie and would give it 3.5 stars out of 4, if I were a pro critic.

Speaking of Aaron Johnson, the guy who plays Kick Ass:

Did you know he is really British?

Did you know he is an underwear model for Calvin Klein?

Did you know that he impregnated and got engaged to the 44-year-old director of his movie NOWHERE BOY, destroying her previous marriage to another man with whom she has two young children?

Here's what his fiancee looks like:

Anonymous said...

I had a similar experience - my best friend Margaret and I both screamed with laughter when Hit Girl killed those gangsters Cunts; and everyone else was basicall silent. It was odd - but whatever.

Kick Ass is ridiculously hot - especially when he's all beat-up and angry :D

And sadly I have to respectfully disagree with Gavin. I think that the good guys being as cruel as the bad guys was a whole part of the point. Regardless of how much we like to pretend otherwise, we're a a very violent and cruel species. It's human nature.

All in all, I fucking loved the film. I'm off to see it again this afternoon!


Anonymous said...

My boyfriend and I saw Kick-Ass last night and it was fucking AMAZING!! Hit Girl was awesome. Something about a kid swearing. The first time they show her and her father and he shoots her was hilarious. Listen to David everyone and GO SEE KICK-ASS!