Sunday, April 18, 2010

The MYTH of the girl...and why their seeping sucks so much.



Its a beautiful day outside so I dont wanna sit here and bitch about women when the real reason why im angry is because my dick is in a KNOT because I need my TWAT SLAMMED and I cant believe I cant get laid on a Sunday in New York?! So this is the PERFECT opportunity to outlet my unmitigated rage on a HAPLESS FEMALES!! YAY Girls Smell!.. for realz though they do have a SWAMP being their legs..
Can it be made clear to the WORLD that girls are pigs?! I feel like women have banned together and formed this cultural opinion that theyre dainty and polite and that their breath smells like apples. Its a SHAM. Anyone who has ever SUFFERED them as a neighbor can attest to this. I am a 220 MOOSE and I walk up the stairs like a CAT, other guys in the hall are SILENT but you can hear the women coming a MILE away. In my old building my boyfriend ended up calling the police on the SCARECROW that lived above us as she weighted about 82 pounds and made more noise the a MUSK OX making its way up the stairs. They have more rage then I do I think even, and they love to take it out on EVERYONE in the most passive aggressive manner possible?!!! When will women learn to walk quietly through a hallway and not CLOMP their rage on the innocent stairs? Not ALL women are like this, in fact I had a female friend who also hated this rage and would teach her friends how to walk properly and by "teach" I mean she would yell at them "No man wants to fuck an ELEPHANT!"... worked like a CHARM!... Also have you ever been to a girls apartment... YUCK.. what a fuckin STINKING MESS?! It smells like BODY FLUIDS IN THERE?!, and there is HAIR everywhere.. and RANDOM TISSUES?!...Why is everything SEEPING?!?!?!? Women factually SEEP, so the concept of SEEPING makes them comfortable and this is why theyre pigs, look at the products in their bathroom or refrigerator... everything has the cap BARELY put on and product is just SEEPING EVERYWHERE... its because of their VAG and Im NOT even joking...Its why their emotions SEEP as well. Who knew you were going to get serious THEORY going on at House of Vader today?! Everyone once in a while I like to get all Cal Arts style..
Its too nice to sit here but my friend Ruben is having trouble with the woman who lives next door to him making a ton of noise, drinking ALONE, and being a noisy HOSEBAG... and I just thought I would write this in sympathy whilst simultaneously trying to demystify the concept that guys are loud and dirty and girls are a bed of flowers.... Theyre a bed of flowers alright but those flowers are Rafflesia aka THE CORPSE FLOWER and they stink like ROTTEN MEAT...
Now Im headed to the gym and listening to my Goldfrappe Rocket mix, I bet she DOESNT smell like rotten meat! ps Fairview Sue dont pay any attention to this article it doesnt apply to you and the other awesome women out there who dont suck. Also dont forget this is all very honest but also all because I cant get a hold of the Brazilian dude who would usually pound my hole till my CHAKRAS would finally SUBMIT and get in ORDER and everything would be peaceful/full of piece...

6 comments:

Kevin said...

I FUCKIN LOVE YOU DAVID MASON LOL THIS IS ABSOLUTE TRUTH! not that any delicate flowers would admit to it

p.s love the exterface pics...when u gonna do some full nekkid pics *grrrr*

fairviewsue said...

My vag seeps and stinks too. PU-i-kins. So I wash it. Sure wish it didn't though. Some things about being female just suck.

Hilarious!

Gregory said...

David you are so damn funny! The best was the ending on how you need fucked to get your chakras in order, lol!

gavin said...

Well Dave, apparently being male doesn't stop you from getting P.M.S.!

hole'nmysoul said...

LOLx100. this post has got to be one of my favorites. you broke it DOWN and i applaud you.

David Mason said...

Thank you Mark!