Friday, April 23, 2010

Why is Steve Christman fucking with my head?!








Someone sent me a link to his photos saying "A good boyfriend for you" and I COULDNT AGREE MORE! Though I know it wouldnt work out because I would secretly hate him getting all the attention and his flawless skin would make me insane instead of happy, hes also closeted at BEST or just VERY fun. I mean I guess hes straight but that just seems hard for me, and this is why:
A. Hes a bodybuilder, so on some level he IS into the way a dude looks.
B. He wears a lobster on his head like Isabella Blow
C. I ALSO went as HANSEL for halloween one year.
D. He isnt afraid to wear a gross sweater which makes him HOT to me.
E. He has that biohazard tattoo AND a PIRATE tattoo?? Doesnt that mean HIV positive and into Vivienne Westwood?!
F. He ALSO has a penchant for retarded eyewear.
G. Matching nipple rings...??? ugh were SO both bottoms...it'll never work out.
H. That CUNT in the pictures who is clearly in love with him needs to fuck off right now... shes no unicorn ok?!?! The man needs me and Id come up with SUCH better ideas then matching mohawks?!
I. Oh and this best friend of his is too much. I mean I remember when I was like 12 and I had a "best friend" and then 15 years later I woke up from a dream and was like "OMG JASON WAS MY BOYFRIEND?!!?" and I didnt even know it then, but he was. It wasnt sexual but we were SO bfs?! At the time I just thought we were best friends then looking back it was all so clear, and that is CLEARLY what is going on here whether they know it or not.. I speak from experience.
J. The pic with the In and Out burger hat.. REALY?!?!? Ugh, I SWEAR were made for each other... Why doesnt he just do a shoot in a thong with Cookie Puss from Carvel so I can just DIE... or at least a WATTAMELON roll from Friendlys.... Ugh he SLAYS ME. I wanna eat doughnuts off his butthole!

8 comments:

znplfreak said...

And, David, he hangs with hottie Antoine Vaillant (the other guy with lobster on his head)who is also,'questionable' (see his succulent BIG nipples).

znplfreak said...

oops, PS, I have 3 more pics of Christman if you need them.

the other Dave

BRANDON JOSEPH PIERRE said...

oh fuck that white boy im pic two with the pink sunglasses, very nice. there all big fun CUNTs. and god i miss Isabella Blow.R.I.P.

Mathieu said...

I'll have him if you're not sexually compatible!

Dan said...

Just sayin:
http://www.myspace.com/Christman83

King.of. said...

Now you know that cunt is straight but would let you suck him off if no one knew and that's about it.


But I do feel you on the donut and butthole thing... and surprised that my binge eating self didn't think of it.

Lucien said...

Umm Krispy Kreme dougnhnuts are perfect on hard as rock butt cheeks with tan lines

wavingpalms said...

This comment:

'E. He has that biohazard tattoo AND a PIRATE tattoo?? Doesnt that mean HIV positive and into Vivienne Westwood?! '

Wins everything, ever, in the history of internet-world.