Sunday, April 18, 2010

Wow I am magical! I pee BEAUTIFUL CRYSTALS!!!


Meet the newest edition to my KIDNEY STONE collection!!!... At first I worried about them and went to the doctor, now this like the the fifth one or something and I can tell when one is coming like 3 weeks ahead of time. The first thing you feel like three weeks before it comes out is a random TWINGE in the head of your dick a few times, then a week after that kidney pain that is mild, then your pee smells musky for a couple days and you have a WEAK stream, then you feel the same twinge you felt on your dick on your butt hole a couple times for like a day or two, then the next day you pee and out of nowhere SPARKLE MAGIC sprays from your weiner and out comes Superman in his Kryptonian baby carriage thing. Im upset I cant find the others, I saved them somewhere. I should make a RING out of them. Im super thankful they dont hurt. I had one that hurt when I was like 15 and had to go to the hospital, since then its just a minor inconvenience. I just wonder are there more in there or was this the only one?, is there like a MOTHER crystal like in Aliens thats churning them out?.. am I like a CASIO WATCH and I run on crystals??! If I try really hard can I make a diamond?! Its weird though, once it passes I feel better, maybe THIS was the "knot" in my dick I spoke of only hours ago in the post below this one and the venting plus honesty about being an unfucked brat finally allowed it to release????

8 comments:

El Brucio said...

I had to go to the hospital for a kidney stone once. I can honestly say it was the most intense pain I've ever felt.

When if finally passed, I was shocked to discover it was basically the size of half a grain of rice.

You have my sympathy. Good luck on making diamonds.

fairviewsue said...

Probably has more to do with your high protein diet. I doubt that you will alter that, but try to drink more water. Since you mention having this condition as a child, I dunno. You just might have to live with it. But I can't think that having sparkly pee is a good thing. But then again, I'm not a doctor. I just used to pretend I was one at a company I used to work for.

Lucien said...

a friend had one and she said the doctor told her to drink lots of cranberry juice; that is decrystilizes and keeps clots from forming

gavin said...

On a scale of one to ten, I say "nasty."

Erik said...

I´m so freaked out I´m definitely going to have nightmares tonight! And I´m going to drink a gallon of water and cranberry juice today :)

fairviewsue said...

I usually dilute cranberry juice 1:1 with San Pelligrino. It makes a wonderful and refreshing beverage! [Hey, I can afford to be a bottled water snob, as I don't drink alcoholic beverages for medical reasons!]

BRANDON JOSEPH PIERRE said...

that sounds really bad, but u no i had a catheter one time and that hunts like hell!!!

Altair said...

in some circles that would be called "wine diamonds"...but seriously, very scary, the potential development of kidney stones etc.