Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Ok so Im back from Bulgaria and so happy to be around gays im WAVING at them on the street... and I dont even know them!

Seriously Im so happy to be around gays I wanna WAVE HELLO to them on the street! YOU HAVE NO IDEA how GREAT gay is until its GONE! Im not kidding at all! I spent the past ten days with no communication to the outside world as an extra surrounded by E.S.L homophobic stuntmen and a star who loathed my presence/BODY and I just had to sit there and smile and pretend i didnt hear anything or didnt pick up the behavior. It made me SO FUCKING THANKFUL for my life that as rotten as it felt at the time Im really glad it happened. I had no idea just how much in control of my life I was and how I have to deal with almost nothing I cant control and how LUCKY I am to be in the situation that Ive created for myself. It also made me realize how SMART and FUNNY and FIERCE my friends all are, not that I didnt think it before but I just didnt realize how RARE it is. There would be moments when something would happen and I would just WISH my friends were there to witness it but then youd quickly realize that NOBODY was there to appreciate it, even the make up artist was STRAIGHT and when VOGUE came on the radio for the SECOND TIME that WONDERFULLY RETARDED intro of "What are you lookin' at?!" which is SO FUCKING GAY I DIE and normally is cause for a serious GIGGLE MOMENT and at the MINIMUM an opportunity for an editorial style pose even if you dont get up from your chair, it would NOT be shared and you just sit there like a DINOSAUR a few weeks after the METEOR HIT and your ALONE and wondering what the hell happened to the world you once knew.
When the movie comes out in a year I'll be able to tell more stories and FINALLY get the laughs in that Id like to share but until then its mums the word.
Other then that the Bulgarian countryside is really idyllic and beautiful, fields of poppies and purple thistles and wagons with horses and wild dogs and gypsy hookers and stuff. It was pretty awesome seeing that and really nice for my body to take a break for a week and just chill the fuck out, its was psychically cleansing!
Here are some photos:

the BEST mojito I ever had was at a KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN at 9 A.M in BULGARIA

I was a little anxious my first day so I topped my cake WITH ANOTHER PIECE OF CAKE

They eat black people for dessert in Bulgaria

Pretty coastline of the Black Sea

The gayest thing for 1,000 miles was these statues

...but then I bought this hat and I was the new king!

but then I saw this bitch and thought "Why does Valerie Bertinelli always have to steal my thunder?!"


Stan said...

I would have thought after the commies left they would have knocked all these Stalinist statues down.

MikeyG said...

that hat is sexy, David! ;)

Sue said...

That mojito looks delish - so refreshing in a sea of boring food! BTW - the hat is YOU! Please tell us that not all Bulgarians have had their sense of humor removed???? I mean, some straight people would even grin at a bit of clowning around to Vogue. Say it ain't so Dave!!! But we are glad to have you back.

Herodotus said...

Yo Dave, I don't think that Bulgarians are the only ones that have black people for dessert. I like mine with maple syrup and nuts!

David Mason said...

Sorry for deleting your comments guys but I cant talk about it till it comes out or I could get in trouble so please just hang on till then.