Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Oh NO?! I just channeled satanic powers.

What do you do when a friend from your childhood hits you up on Facebook and he has NO IDEA what hes stepping into when he asks to be friends?!.. I just accepted him and said nothing and figured Id let him figure it out and step in the unicorn turd...
My mother used to say how handsome he was, which of course made me INSANE, and now hes not so much... Am I going to hell or spiraling into bad karma because I knee jerk laughed maniacally upon review of his profile and exclaimed "I WIN?!" ?? OOOH I am SO setting myself up for disaster.. SUCH an ugly side of me that I only SORTA knew I had. A few months ago I said to my therapist "I think I can be competitive" and he said "YA THINK?!"... but to act like its not there would only make it STAY there, because unrecognized life lessons force you to repeat them until you actually meet them. If I recognize it, I can learn the lesson and grow. Otherwise god is gonna force me to sit on a subway car full of male models who point and laugh at my mashed potato head or something I just know it, or make me fall into a kiddie pool in a nightclub... AGAIN?! ( yes that happened to me, full club, in front of the world, and its because I got up to leave from the FRONT ROW during someones on stage performance, thought I saw an opening in the crowd, didnt know it was because there was a FULL KIDDIE POOL on the ground....poof INSTANT karma and the MOOSE takes a bath!...) I know that is the WRONG attitude to have, because as we know "Theres more to life then being better then everybody" - thanks SONIQUE... but its hard when all you wanted was your mom to say "Youre fierce" and instead she said this other dude was. He used to have such a great ass, its a pity, now hes like pear shaped and youd never recognize him. Its so funny because you dont see someone for 20 years and you just paint a totally different picture as to what they grow into being... I thought he was gonna be all full lipped and cheek bones and instead hes all full HIPPED not TONED.... Im going to hell for being a cunt, but forgive me, all I have in my head is my mother saying how handsome he was becoming... which made this child secretly NUTZ, all I wanted to scream was "What about me, why am i INVISIBLE?!" ugh.....at least im honest, and he looks happy. ... AND I just sorta realized its also what probably got me to like such flashy "notice me" things which is actually a part of me I like being that I feel it not only brings me joy but other people get a kick out of it. Im sorta good at it. Feeling unrecognized made my the retarded moose I am today, and I like that retarded moose, that retarded moose cracks himself up sometimes.
So thank you MOM and thank you FORMER CHILD RIVAL for making me crazy and forcing me to develop PERSONALITY and making me have to actually LEARN and EARN liking myself, albeit LATE IN LIFE, because I think to earn it and actually pull it off you cherish it a lot more, unlike just always having it and not even caring. Its like if someone gives you 20$ you dont care much, but if you earn it you care a lot more about that 20$ . So...THANKS .. maybe I need to tattoo a 20$ bill on my forearm so I dont forget this lesson.


Sue said...

Okay David. Pretend I am your Mother. [Certainly I am old enough to be her. Ugh!]

"David. I am only going to tell you this once. So listen up. You are fierce. You are cool. You are brilliant. You have a great ass! You are not a moose. You are my cute little baby boy and always will be. Now STFU!"

I hope that helped!


Martha Stewart said...

Dear David,

Weren't you just bloggong about feeling inferior to the muscle queens in Spain? It seems Sonique's epiphany is more aspiration than reality for you at this point.

I've always felt so lucky not only to be good looking, but to KNOW I am good looking.

If you'll excuse me, I have dusting and more of God's work to do.

Martha Stewart

Holly said...

Sue, I was going to say the same thing! Parents of a certain generation didn't or don't know how to compliment their kids. I actually caught my mom complimenting me to one of her friends...I was in the other room and she actually stopped talking when I walked back in the room. She also compliments my sister all the time to me, but my sister says she is so sick of hearing how great I am, so there you go.

David, I would consider myself a success if my kids had one tenth of your sense of self and your grab the world by the balls attitude. You are happy and do exactly what you want and I could not ask for more for my two. And yes, you have a nice ass. That's always a plus.

David Mason said...

Thank soooo much you guys thats so awesome to hear?!?!? I really appreciate the thought and gesture. so generous of you!!

Dac Morris said...

Hmmm David, bordering on cuntily here a little bit. just so you know....

David Mason said...

Why do you think I said I was dabbling with satanic powers? Im not proud of it clearly.. just being real.

duaner said...


and do all the "cuntily"/real you want! you're totally right that it's healthy.

a REAL cunt (though i dislike the word association) actually wishes ill of a person and i know that's the last thing you wish (cuz there's no reason for that foolishness! you're not jelly/bitter!).