Thursday, July 8, 2010

Ok so now that I just finished singing "Robert DeNiros waiting" with my invisible friends called Bananrama, I can tell you about Spain.

Spain during gay pride is a different dimension then the one you and I live in! Its that simple. As I stated in the post below, if you go to the Prado in Madrid you will see Heironymous Boschs' "The Garden of Earthy Delights" its a really good thing to take in FIRST THING as its more like a FIELD GUIDE then simply a work of art. Let me assure you that the painting hangs there for a REASON.
Have you ever wished that youd visit a city populated by the most beautiful men in the world? Oh you have?! Well congratulations?! Welcome to Madrid!!! ..oh and POOF .. youre now OFFICIALLY INVISIBLE!?! There are SO MANY incredible looking men there my brain could not take it?! Its REALLY HARD to take! You think it would be fantastic swimming in a pool of the hottest guys youve ever seen.. IT ISNT, its AWFUL?! It doesnt feel good, its quite the opposite, because with this great beauty comes the question " Well if theyre so damn gorgeous and its so damn COMMON then WHAT THE HELL AM I?!" I mean Im obviously exaggerating, but it is tough and at the very least PSYCHICALLY TRYING. Its very hard to have an ounce of self esteem when the GARBAGE MAN standing next to you is walking for MODEL FACE and the BRAZILIAN HOOKER throwing mild shade is 22 and 240 lbs of muscle and has skin that you swear is OPALESCENT.. Its very hard to keep that healthy "Im perfect the way I am" voice in your head because the voice inside your head that says "RUN?! THIS IS TERRIFYING AND YOURE NOT ADEQUATE!" is screaming so loud. Now I KNOW im FINE, but OOfff, keep it together gurl?! I have to say I took MEPHADRONE while I was there and I THOUGHT that stuff was cute for me... WRONG.. I dunno but it made me feel great for 10 minutes and then WHAMMO total RESONATING INSECURITY coming down on me HARD. So mephadrone is NOT for me, unfortunately I didnt come to that realization until I LEFT. I do NOT recommend taking it even though its not even illegal, I know its not the same thing but the way it made me feel afterward I would describe it as CRANK.
If you search Madrid on this Blog youll see lasts years report, which was the first time I went, and all of still holds true. The parade is magically SUPER FRIENDLY and its just awesome to see everyone, all types of people, just going ape shit bananas for the gays. You dont realize that the world COULD be like this everywhere and its great to experience if only for a day. The public pool that all the gays go to during the day is fun too, and the Chueca, which is the gay neighborhood, is so full of people you could easily stay there all weekend and have more then your fill of hot men and never even go to one party. This year I decided to go to the main big party INFINITA as well as the other two main parties but skipped Supermartxe as people said is was now really straight and 30 Km out of town. the Infinita Party is GIGANTIC it takes place in Madrid Arena and its a spectacle. Im glad I saw it but FUCKING HELL ?! If you dont consistently remind yourself that this is NOT the real world you would end up running from the event to the closest steroid dealer, who isnt very hard to find being that they actually HAND OUT CARDS to you advertising their hormone supply services at the party, and pay for a DOSE ON THE SPOT.
I think the best way to describe the main party, or any major circuit party, is saying its a CAR SHOW. Except instead of showing off the hard, glistening, and painted body of your car youre showing off the hard, glistening and painted body that incases your SOUL which may or MAY NOT be driving!?! Its a steroid show, id say solidly 70 percent of the crowd is JUICED UP HARD and I mean JUICED. Like I wasnt on mones there but I have taken them and I worry about my taking them before and these people clearly take at least ten times more, its SO FREAKY. Its hard to take because its basically an unexamined persons pride parade. In fact its HERALDED. Like I feel that as someone who asks WHY and someone who goes to therapy once a week it was really hard to take the FULL TILT BOOGIE reckless abandon these guys are going through. In order to get the results they do you coudnt possibly take the time to stop and ask " why am I doing this", youre just RUNNING FOR IT. Its an amazing spectacle and can be fun, but its also sorta awful and sad and I wonder why everyone cant just be friendly because ANYONE that juiced has built up some serious armor to defend themselves against the world. I used to think I was into big muscle and now i just sorta feel sorry for them, its not even attractive anymore because the cat is out of the bag. I mean I like it but when its so over built I just feel like all that person wants is someone to tell them "Its gonna be ok, now enjoy your ice cream cone." Instead of seeing a big guy I see a terrified person. Now do NOT get me wrong, I still love a BIG BUTT and AMPLE PECS but there is a real specific look to the terrified juiced out former skinny drug addict faggot, and theyre usually sweating profusely from the drugs theyve taken to deal with all the aforementioned stuff. Now before you judge me as being HARSH, and if you think im being harsh youve obviously never read the blog, Im not saying this is EVERYONE, its just the ones that FREAK ME OUT. I mean let me tell you a little story...
One night there Im at a club with my friends and swimming in a sea of uber hot men when my one friend is like "WAIT RIGHT HERE, Im going to be back in two minutes and I may need you to help me drag my friend out of the club who maybe overdoesed on G?!" ... AWESOME?!!! Ugh... So of course Im like OY YOY YOY these party guys are too much for me.?! My friend comes back yelling "C'mere!" carrying the LIFELESS BODY of his friend Nico, my friends friend is also carrying him, so I have to help and carry this guy by the waist through the crowd, of course the crowd is partying and its a scene all to familiar with everyone there and they dont care. You have NO IDEA how heavy DEAD WEIGHT is. I mean the guy was ALIVE but basically DEAD, but is certainly not DEAD OR ALIVE So we carry him through the crowd and up the stairs outside of the club, which is when my friend lifts up the completely limp bodies head only to realize "THIS ISNT NICO?!?!" So they just SET HIM DOWN AND WENT BACK IN?!?! The security looked at the body and DIDNT EVEN BLINK. I mean at least we carried the guy out but I couldnt believe that it was just a NON ISSUE. Im assuming the security called an ambulance?! but who knows... we just went back inside because there was nothing we could do. Oh and their friend was FINE, they just THOUGHT he was the past out guy. Thats the weird thing about the parties even the friends cant tell each other apart they all look so similar?! ... Oh and a LONG STORY SHORT, walking into another party this juiced out dude is dancing in front of me then PROJECTILE PUKES into his HAND?! Then KEEPS DANCING?!?!?!? At that point I was sure Id entered the third ring of hell and it was seriously a DANCE OF DEATH. I mean its a cliche but it felt SATANIC. I mean the people were SO DEEPLY hedonistic that they could only be stopped by SEVERE PHYSICAL TRAUMA, kinda like a ZOMBIE MOVIE.
Oh so this is the interesting part though. Remember how I was saying I felt insecure? Well this guy Im not friends with on facebook messages me on there and is like "Were you in Madrid by any chance?" and Im like "Yeah" and he was like "Oh I saw you there. I recognized you from the unicorn shoot but I didnt say anything because I felt too shy." This guy was like the POSTER BOY for what I feel like youre "supposed" to look like at these events, very handsome, tattooed, sexy mediterrenean features, muscle body and HE was afraid to talk to me, thats when I realized "Ok Im NOT crazy EVERYONE here REALLY IS terrified and insecure and goes to low functioning place when their surrounded by such aggressive presentation of the flesh" Thank god that guy at least emailed me... So good to know.
So would I do Madrid again? For sure, would I do all the parties NO, Id do one. Would I do Mephadrene HELL NO. Lifes been cute to me so far with just red bull and vodka, and I have to admit I tried MDMA and I THINK it was nice, but who knows... Its not something I need. I have no regrets but next time Id be less HARRIED and more chill and just keep it real, thats when I was having the best time.
That said Im headed to Barcelona at the end of the month for their event, but I hear its more chill and about the beach and bbqs and such and im INTO IT. I just wanna sit on a beach and eat ice cream and have someone tell me its all gonna be ok.

23 comments:

youreviltwin said...

really good post.

David Mason said...

Thank you!!! :)

Lucien said...

Its all going to be Ok because Dave you have an intelligence to see the word so clearly . Its men like you that show the clarity of what the world can be .

here's a nutty buddy ice cream cone and its going to be OK !

David Mason said...

Aww, thank you and YUMMERS!

Tony Ward said...

What a great post! i'm so joining you on the beach eating ice-cream

James said...

I think what you can draw from it is that almost anyone can get juiced up, but one in a million can do a unicorn shoot. So everyone gets insecure.
The party description sounds like it could almost as easily be London or LA or Sydney at the right event.

Erik said...

I´ve been waiting for this post from Madrid with bated breath! Glad to hear that another one is coming from Barcelona later on :)

brando said...

Yes queen, I loved the post. "...and the BRAZILIAN HOOKER throwing mild shade is 22 and 240 lbs of muscle and has skin that you swear is OPALESCENT.." hahaha!! Perfect!

I can't wait to hear how Barcelona is after the experience in Madrid- I'm sure it'll be 100 times better! Navigating will be much easier I'm sure!

David Mason said...

Thanks guys :)

Sue said...

Yeah. I felt much the same way in Madrid. The garbage man had the same face as Antonio Banderas! The cops were to die for gorgeous! But I was a married tourist so not intimidated the way you were. I just enjoyed "window shopping". I wish I had gone during Pride to experience the energy and acceptance that you did! What a great post! It amazes me that anyone gets together at all at these dances; one would have to be so secure to really score.

Yes, BCN is more laid back. It is worth walking the length of the various beaches to see what is there and there is a great cement walkway or one can walk along the sand. Though you will have to come up to the cement between the beaches. Be sure to see some Gaudi buildings if you have time. They really are a must. Let me know if you want more information on hotels or anything like that.

http://fairviewsue.wordpress.com/

Aaron said...

LET'S HAVE LUNCH

rashasha said...

I am completely shocked to find out part of your internal monologue is comparing yourself to all of the party cattle at a Pride event.

Even though they may be the most gorgeous specimens, only a small percentage of them will have both the creative spark and entrepreneurial drive that you have, Mr. Mason, and that puts you in a different orbit. of course, that would be hard to advertise at a rave or whatever you call it.

It's likely more people recognized you and were too shy to say hi - that unicorn shoot was pretty ubiquitous.

Superb post! I hope you may have more video to share of the parade and other events. Now I am utterly dying to go to Madrid!

David Mason said...

Aaron,: YES and WHEN
Rashasha: I know it seems silly to compare yourself but its just hard when its all around you, tightly packed and in the thousands, its why I think those scenes are so "cliquey" because you HAVE to say tight with your crew or otherwise the feeling is that you'll be eaten alive. Staying so tightly packed with your friends is the only way you can hang on to the concept of how you know yourself, otherwise youre forced to reconsider everything, whichc is a mindscramble.

Adam said...

Love the post. Hallelujah and amen! Enjoy Barcelona and relax :)

nsfw said...

The thing about those circuit cattle calls is that even if some gorge hunk zeroes in on you, it will only be ten minutes max before their tweaky attention zooms the room for something new to conquest for more validation... it's all about ego-boosting, much like the roids.

Keep on doing exactly what you're doing, you're shaping up in ways totally beyond surface nature... unlike most of those hollow party clones, you've got a great future ahead. Your self-confidence is your fortune.

hole'nmysoul said...

Perfect post. Couldn't have said it better. Thanks for sharing your insights. I'm still digesting it all.

It was truly an adventure... peaks and valleys of wicked fun and mindfucks... but overall I learned more about myself and my relationship to gay culture in those 4 days than I have in a long time. I got to experience things in order to understand them and myself better. So ultimately, it was all very much worth it.

And you did an INCREDIBLE job of taking us newcomers under your wing and helping us navigate thru the craziness. A tough role I'm sure, so a thousand thank you's for that.

fang said...

i almost felt like your post was ging to end with: "Hold me."

yeeeeessh. can someone say nightmaaaaare?

crumpet0552 said...

Well, to repeat what a few people have said, you don't have to feel insecure, you are what you are. But as you go to a therapist I'm sure (s)he will have plenty to say! As a Madrid resident, I'd disagree slightly with your analysis of the scene. It's not quite full of mindless bags of insecurity. I'd say it's more that Spain is somewhat behind the times. Spain for decades has always wanted to be America, even more than most European countries, and now it can. No one has told it that it's copying America of the 80s (not only on the gay scene, but also in advertising and media obsessions generally), and it doesn't care.
There IS insecurity however: it's called over 20% unemployment. Perhaps that's one reason why the hedonism is so desperate. I like Madrid Pride, not for the parties but for the general bonhomie, as you mentioned, grannies and kids and (yes!) straights, all wandering round Chueca at two in the morning, among all the gorgeous queens. Stay away from the juiced-up parties and you'll see another, less hyper, version. Have a great time in BCN!

todd said...

Didn't see this post before. I agree witheveryone! You are a great writer--you should be writing essays for some mag like The New Yorker. You have such great insight and you are so funny. I love you--you always cheer me up!

Brian Kenny said...

I used to want to be 240lb of impervious muscle, but realized like you that it would just become all three obvious that I was insecure about my thin. That's when I learned to stop worrying and learned to love my 'kinda-skinny/kinda-buff reality bomb.

(you're grade-A memoir material kid!)

David Mason said...

Well Brian your body is GORGEOUS, so im glad you didnt try and morph it, but yeah the CONCEPT of impervious muscle is cute but theres nothing impervious about it you IMAGINE what it would be like, but it never happens which I think is hy these guys just do more and more and more, like a dog chasing its tail, theyll never get it.

Mathieu said...

Everyone else beat me to it: you are FAR too intelligent and creative, and you are not one of those insecure and careless roidtards at the parties. I resonate with every part of this post, as I have had the exact same thoughts and experiences at Sydney Mardi Gras, at any run of the mill London 'bank' long weekend, and at ANY Saturday night at The Week in São Paulo or Rio. There, someone I had spoken and flirted with at Ipanema beach looked at me full in the face with ZERO recognition and turned away and just kept partying. I think I go to these parties occasionally more for the spectacle, and to remind myself why I'm not a circuit party person. It is probably true though that if you don't go to the big parties your experience would be different, as the guy above said.

I've booked Ibiza for the end of the month, but I think I'll take the ferry over to Barcelona and if I see you this time, I'll ball up and come and say hello.

David Mason said...

Yes, Please come say hi :) Im friendly I swear.