Saturday, August 14, 2010

If Madonna doesnt get FAT, shes STUPID.


I was just talking to a friend, while snacking, and we came to the realization that the only new, shocking, and novel thing Madonna could do would be to get FAT. NOBODY would see it coming, itd HONESTLY be shocking, more then when she had burning crosses in her Pepsi commercial,( ps have you ever noticed that Pepsi's p.r plan is always just to hire an artist, be "shocked" by the outcome and then "pull it" then wait 5 years and do it again... they did it with Michael, Madonna and Britney and Im sure others that I just didnt pay attention to... did they sponsor the Janet superbowl thing?) but anyways I digress. Yeah so that short Italian American lady from Michigan has backed herself into a corner because shes ran out of ideas and frankly shes lost the fan base to Lady G... SO, I think its time for desperate measures. I think she needs to get Fat AND crazy, but at least just FAT. Shes ALL about control and this would be the exact opposite and thus unexpected. Like fat and crazy would actually be "out of the box" for her... Im just saying its her only hope, then she gets skinny and America LIVES for her, shes sells a million diet books etc etc etc... Its not a bad idea, I mean I have to be honest here, just yesterday a very high power online media owner asked to meet with me specifically over my marketing skillz, not even kidding?! The lady needs to listen to us, this may be the House of Vader so I am NO Obi Wan... but those of us here, and you readers out there may be her only hope... If any of you out there are friends with her, do the right thing and hand her a depressant and a cheese cake.... shes at a breaking point and fame is only obscurity BIDING ITS TIME.. thats a quote from Carrie Fisher btw... The mother of the House of Vader...

4 comments:

Phillyguy said...

If Madonna became fat, she'd be turning herself into middle America and that's sad and pathetic. We already have Kristie Alley and she's just a hot mess. The "fat celebrity loses weight and confronts her demons" is sooo old. Why do you think this is the last season of Oprah?

Remaining relevant is hard when one trailblazed for so long. Lady Gaga will learn this all too soon when her novelty wears off and people realize they have no idea who she is or what she stands for.

What Madonna needs to do is host her own show! I see her essentially becoming a high priestess of taste and culture like no other pop star and I DO think people would listen -- at least for awhile. Could you imagine a show that features what's cutting edge in art, music, fashion, philosophy, etc in a way that's in your face Madonna? Fierce.

witomski said...

Dave....Madonna over the past 30 years has reinvented herself over and over and over. I love Lady G, but can she accomplish the same feat as Madonna has? Time is everything.....Oh...and BTW...I continue to love you and your fuck'n Blog.....you are beyond DEVINE!.....Joe

Michael Joseph said...

Fat would be alright, but I think the fat AND crazy combo would really do it for me. But she'd have to be like, not just a little crazy. I want her to go Nina Hagen crazy.

nsfw said...

you mean fat like Jesus?

actually, what she needs to do is "pull-a-Garbo".