Thursday, November 18, 2010

Have you ever been in that quandary where you wanna tell a lady shes fierce but you dont just incase she thinks youre a murderous strangler??


One time I saw this lady on the street corner walking for Leona Helmsley realness and I COULD NOT HELP IT and I told her she looked amazing and she looked at me like I said "GO DIE BITCH", which after that look I so kindly received after complimenting her I WISH I HAD, so Ive never said it again but DAMN these two girls on the subway were JUST sitting across from me and their look was SO GOOD. I dont know if they would have looked as awesome separately because they played off each other perfectly but they actually made me happy. One was a blonde with feathered hair and had a hot but slightly goofy face like REAL 80s style, like not a model but GORGEOUS but kinda goofy, almost like LONNIE ANDERSON and the other one was a hot brunette SLUT with studded spandex pants and high heel ankle booties, both wore OVERSIZED SCARVES... REAL 80s "Im a dancer but really a future coke addict prostitute" style. I couldnt help staring and I had a BIG FAT SMILE on my face and I was surprised to find they werent a cunt about it, I was walking for muscle head realness and I think they LIKED IT?!?! Which is RARE for anyone, let alone a straight girl. I desperately wanted to tell them they were everything BUT I feared theyd think I was a CREEP and there was a random girl sitting next to them POUTING WITH TEARS IN HER EYES so I didnt want to rub it in and tell the girls sitting next to her how fantastic they were... BUT NOT HER... Itd be nice if we lived in a world where you could just say nice things to people without them thinking it meant you wanted to leave their body stuffed under the hotel room bed.

5 comments:

youreviltwin said...

you can totally compliment girls/women. just make sure that you turn the queeny up to eleven so that you're a non-threat castrato, and that way even the dense and/or old ones will get it.

i feel the same way on the bus everytime i see a dumpy 40 but looking 45 latina squeezed into middle aged hooker wear from her 1988 heyday in OBREGON(but not KNOWING IT) with bleach blonde hair and SHARPIE EYEBROWS, i internally squeal with delight. it's TRUE affection, because they are like I AM MEXI-FIERCE! and i love that. mexicans are better because they have a much wider definitional range of sexy than white people do. is that racist? i don't care.

i usually don't tell them though, even though i want to because it is HARD to get middle aged mexican women to register gay for some reason, at least in arizona. also, those women will fucking cut you if they think you're making fun of them.

tim said...

i was recently with a group of gay men at Denny's (in Downey, CA) and it was 3:30am--the most beautiful red headed waitress waited on us---she might have been pushing 40--anyway, i was thinking what a shame it was that such beauty was being wasted in such a place---i told her she was "very pretty" and she smiled and took it like a champ--like she knew and agreed she could have been made for better things.

Kurt Walters said...

Fuck!! I do that ALL THE TIME.. but my own twist comes with artist baggage.. I want to paint them. And the worst is children. I'll some gorgeous kid right out of Gainsborough or Maxfield Parrish ( no doubt named Tiffany, Madison, or Parker) where I want to say.. please sit for me... bring your Mom, Grandma, valet, au pair, whatever.. but I HAVE to capture this face.. !

Or a banjee girl, that just has the perfect combination of Mocha Mix fierceness, a smidge of 'Proud African American Hoo-Ha', mixed with 'I can behead and circumcise you with this spear in one swoop', look... though her thug gangsta bf whole no doubt be drooling cripple someday, is starin' me daggers...

Grrr I COULD IMMORTALIZE this girl.. and all's you wanna do is punch her..

Happens all the time, with all kinds of different people.. just waiting for my big break so when I'm fierce enough I can just waltz up, flick open my coachman trench, present my card and say ' See that you and your spawn are at my atelier no later than 1:30, tomorrow, luncheon will be served... and then we shall create a great work!'

Tom said...

I have this major men's hair fetish. I was just in NYC yesterday and saw a bunch of men whose hair was just sending me through the roof...

Anyway, I have a friend who's suggested that I do a book on men's hair. It sounds like a great idea and it would be a blast to pick the best photos and put them together in a book, even if it didn't sell well.

But I just can't picture myself going up to a man with a great head of hair and saying "Can I take a picture of you. You have great hair and I'm doing a book..."

Anyway, maybe it sounds stupid, but I would love to be able to break through my fear and just do that.

Lex said...

Well what about the shoe being on the other foot?

I've passed you on the street a few times and wanted to say "Fucking fantastic blog" but honestly felt like that would be weird and rude - there's a difference between being acquainted with someone because you've actually met them or been introduced, and "knowing" them only through a blog.

Plus there's the whole intruding on the nyc sense of anonymity and privacy we feel here as we go about our business in the city. So would you find a random stranger suddenly complimenting you annoying or creepy?