Wednesday, January 12, 2011

The BeastMaster.. Its Phastasmagorical?! ...So they say...


Ok the whole hooded muscle man who drinks glowing green goo and turns into fetish monster from this movie is basically my rule book for good sex!.... OMG I just figured it out?! ... POPPERS are TOTALLY the glowing green goo?!... NO WONDER?!... You can see the leather fetish sex muscle men in the trailer for a second... Id say this was like my third favorite movie as a kid... but as far as formative fetish scenarios this was number one I think, maybe number two after He-Man and the Master of the Universe, and Im NOT talking about the SHITTY movie either, that was the first time I learned that adults LIE... Who were half those bad guys they threw in their?! Blade and Sauron.... TRYORY?!?!?!? They were NOT from Eternia... Children are STICKLERS for the rules and do NOT want interpretations there of, or rip off fake out characters you made up from parts in the FX shop?!?!?!? Where were Merman and Spikor?!?!?!? Webstor... Tung Lashor?!?!??! You gave me BILLY BARTY and NOT Spikor... I coulda strangled that director with my RAGEFUL CHILD HANDS!!!!

7 comments:

Lucien said...

Loved it too - and his loin cloth was real long too! that made me dream of Marc Singer often as a kid

brando said...

Those monsters that would wrap guys up in their skin and then break down bodies down to bone ALWAYS terrified me but I loved it!

David Mason said...

Yeah and the freaky scream they made?!

Gerry said...

God, I love your tangents.

youreviltwin said...

yeah, this one's on my hard drive too. i remember crying inconsolably over the ferrets.

El Brucio said...

I absolutely adored that film when I was a kid. I don't think I'd watch it these days though, as I can't see how it could live up to my memories of it.

I'm also sure that movie laid the groundwork for all sorts of pervy fetishes in the kids that watched it.

gavin said...

Didn't those butta-faced witches with hot bodies fuck a bull to give birth to monsters or something?

Or they conjured monsters to life inside a cow's womb and pulled it out?

I'll have to re-watch.

Yes, the Dolph Lundgren/Frank Langella HE-MAN really blew. They tried to STAR WARS-ify He-Man instead of letting it be its own mythology.

And they set it on Earth! It just didn't resemble the cartoon, action figures or comics. DRIVING MISS DAISY was closer to He-Man than that Dolph Lundgren B.S.

Based on what Hollywood has done to TRANSFORMERS and G.I. JOE recently, I hope this GRAYSKULL project never gets off the ground:

http://www.variety.com/article/VR1118008329