Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Being a "grower" sucks in the year 2011.


Im gonna be FRANK... (n furter) with this topic. I am a GROWER . I am assuming this is because I am a NORDIC and SNOW MONKEYS had to have RETRACTABLE DICKS so they didnt FREEZE UP AND FALL OFF in the winter, which for my ancestors was 8 months a year.... BUT..... I no longer LIVE IN A HUT MADE OF MASTODON HORNS and Im pretty sure I dont need to worry about PENILE FROSTBITE ( famous last words) so the fact that I am STILL a grower is LAME. Im not only a grower, my SACK is tight too... again lame, and Im not just a grower, I like NEVER hang, even when its like 107 degrees outside my dick is all CHESTNUT STYLE and COLD and retracted.. If youre a shower YOURE LUCKY. I have a about an 8 second WINDOW OF HANG after I piss in the shower and that is IT. Then I retract back to WEE WILLY WHISTLE?!... I love my body and I am NOT going to bitch because if I do GOD WILL HIT ME WITH A KARMA STICK, which I would deserve because Im not half bad and Im happy about it so in case youre reading this god let me be sure to say "GOD, IM NOT BITCHING.... but... showers have a cute thing going!"
Some person told me Im not a shower because im aggressive and active and any aggressive animal is a genetic grower because they GET IN FIGHTS and you cant have a dick swinging around or it will get RIPPED OFF, which I guess makes sense... but UGH its 2011 and I never lived in an IGLOO, not RECENTLY, and I havent WRESTLED A MOUNTAIN TROLL IN THE NUDE, not latety, so could I please just be a shower?! If it means I have to swap something like you can either have ABS or you can have ASS I will STICK WITH WHAT IVE GOT THANKS... but MS. GOD if youre handing out "shower certificates" I'll take one thanks!

9 comments:

witomski said...

Dave.....A "grower" on you is just an added bonus! Joe

gavin said...

I'm a grower, too.

The good news is that most gay men REALIZE that half the people out there are growers and to never judge a man's dick size unless he's fully erect.

P.S. I thought you were Slavic, not Nordic? Slavs had to wrestle ice trolls, too, and they've shared the North Sea's shores with the Scandinavians for over 1,000 years ...

David Mason said...

Im ALL OF IT.. If its TOTALLY WHITE .. IM IT... Im Austrian German Polish English and Swedish. Crackerfied Cracker!

Trickle Down BS said...

There is a lot to be said for those tight, compact nuts. To some of us it is a definite plus.
saludos,
raulito

Erik said...

There is a cure for this Nordic "ailment" - take a pill of Cialis twice a week and it keeps your cock thick and extended at the gym showers. Guaranteed stares. Of course I´ve never done that, I just heard this from a friend...

Gareth said...

I love this post. I actually think growers are hotter than showers in the soft state. I like the bounce, the angles, and proportions better.

Jason said...

Ohhhh Mr. Mason you are preaching to the choir! I am like you in the peen department. I have "high tight balls" and what I really want are low hangers. Even when I'm warm I they don't really drop. I've considered trying out different ball stretching techniques but so far I'm just too lazy too. I'm a modest 6.5ish at full growth but just once I'd like to be in a public shower and not look like a 12 year old boy.

Paulo said...

Loved the post! I'm a grower too, but with low hanging ball (try to explain that!), and I'm from Brazil, with Austrian, German, Italian and Native American ancestry. What really sucks in my opinion is that when I go to the beach there is nothing down there...I mean everyone in Brazil wears speedos to the beach, and the peen print is something you really expect to see/be proud of. I'm M.D. and I really thing botox might help with that, though this is not my area. But it's all about involuntary muscles working under the skin (platisma), they probably would be paralized with botox, with no effect on the erection itself. Anyone has read anything about it? Would be far safer than taking Cialis regularly, and if something goes wrong the effect wears out in about 6 months. Love your blog! And you're so HOT!

Mr Mexico said...

Im with you! No matter how hot it is i stay compact! However,guys to seem to be impressed by the difference in size when erect so it could be seen as a plus really!
And by the way,on a lad like you a grower would not put ANYONE off. Im sure of that!!!!!!