Friday, January 7, 2011

Yay Im back and its 2011

Sorry Ive abandoned you for two weeks!
I was in London and Paris for X mas and New Years. It was a very fun time. I celebrated Christmas with an A-rab friend of mine who never had truly experienced Christmas before and celebrated New Years in Paris with Francois where I had never had celebrated it before.
Celebrating Christmas with my friend Khalil and our mutual French friend Fred was a lot of fun, though it took some understanding on my part to help Khalil get the idea in his head that Christmas is the biggest day of the year and that NOTHING is open! He could NOT grasp this concept! After the 40th time he was told "Its Christmas everything is closed!" it ALMOST sunk in. He was SURE things would be open Christmas eve so we walked from his place in central London to the gay neighborhood Soho only to find, OF COURSE, that EVERYTHING is closed and not a creature was stirring not even a mouse! Hes never heard this story so I didnt even bother delivering the line because it would fall on deaf ears because as I have now learned, over and over again, because he kept repeating it every time he slowly began to realize that NOTHING WAS OPEN, that "In Lebanon everyone goes out shopping on the biggest holy day to SPEND THE MONEY THEY GOT!" well London is not exactly BEIRUT though there are so many HOT LEBANESE GUYS in London now it MAY AS WELL BE. Oh and YEs I know Lebanese guys are not A-rabs and that Iran is PERSIA but it doesnt matter, like my pronouns I use these terms loosely and Khalil is everything from an A-rab to a Persian to Princess Jasmine, its the CONCEPT, not the reality. As an American I have very limited experience with Lebanese guys, and Im not saying all Lebanese guys are hot but 8 out of 10 hot guys in London were Lebanese... they walk for dark and hairy realness and win hands down every time, Iranians too... ugh If you have SWARTHY FETISH go to London, youll be choking on hairballs!
I arrived in London the 24, as opposed to my planned arrival of the 22, because of rotten Virgin Air who royally fucked up and left people stranded at the airport for 5 days, I luckily was able to escape but Virgin still hasnt solved anything, refunded my money, or even responded to the calls and emails... Shadey. I just got off the phone today amd they PROMISED a "call back in a couple hours" YET AGAIN. If they dont call by 4:00 Im just calling non stop and then suing in small claims court, and I'll win. Long story short they had everyone cancel the flights they made on other airlines when they originally said the flight was cancelled only to have us all show up at the airport after multiple confirmations that the flight was indeed on, to tell us "Sorry that was an error , there is no plane and one wont be available until the 27" this was on the 22, so everyone was stranded for Christmas.... Rotten... and they made no apologies, refunds, etc... Hateful. If youre flying to England I suggest Icelandair, theyre friendly, the flight is only an hour longer, its cheaper and they are totally effiecient, plus its a little exotic and neat and their stewardesses are all OLD MODEL TYPES in gogo boots and its kinda fierce.
So Christmas in London was cute and then I took the Eurorail to Paris. Met up with Francois who I now realize is really funny! He just gets it and is a very creative weirdo such as myself and all my other friends. New Years in Paris is surprisingly subdued. Which is exactly what I wanted. I planned to go out in London so I didnt need Paris to be Kookoo, though I SORTA thought it might be because of the movie SPACEBALLS, when Mel Brooks hears the sirens going off because the spaceship is about to explode he exclaims "What is this New Years in Paris?!" so I always thought it must be SO EXCITING but just like the "Im still standing" video experience I had about Nice being NOTHING like the video, FANTASY FRANCE is not REALITY FRANCE, but reality France is still cool so I had fun. At midnight everyone in the room kisses EVERYONE ELSE in the room and says "Bonne Annee" its sophisticated and sweet, I liked it as opposed to cheering and blowing a kazoo, though a good PARTY HAT will ALWAYS have its place in my heart!
I then headed back to London and went to their ape shit bananas clubland parties. Nowhere in the world "parties" I CRINGE to use that word, like London. Its TOO MUCH FUN, like actually TOO MUCH, its fun till your THROAT BLEEDS! I actually had TOO MUCH and left, together but slightly fucked up which is a state I do NOT like to be in as I am a mild control freak but it was New Years and there were cute guys everyone so what the hell.
I hope your holiday season was as genuine as mine. Its not about how big, or fancy or glittery or sexy it was I think but how much YOU liked it. REAL is better then anything else in my book. If REAL for you was home alone with cookies and a cat then FANTASTIC. I dont wanna have a big to do my entire life but I'll take it now and cash in on this BEARD that i have now!... and let me tell you its a DICK MAGNET!!! London is usually cute for me but this time it surpassed all others, and I think it was because I had the beard. dudes like facial hair I think.. I mean I love it and the beard popularity thing is over so I think its safe to have one without looking trendy.
Happy New Year!


RJ said...

Oh, the life of a glamour glitterati!

We see him flying, here
We see him flitting, there
Those Frenchies seek him everywhere
Is in heaven? Or is he in Hell?
That damned elusive Pimpernel!
(paraphrasing the Scarlet Pimpernel)
Sounds like so much fun...

Anonymous said...

Now that Kahlil mentions it, I'm all kinds of surprised that London's retailers (and those in the US) aren't open on Christmas for exactly the same reason that Lebanon's shops are open on their holy days.

Glad you had a real New Years. I like how you emphasize real. Since I've been reading your blog I've started shaking the notion of authenticity around in my head more. I've always been a sincere person, but am only now starting to be okay with who I am sexually (a pig). And it's my own fault. My partner (not a pig) is fully supportive of me being a pig, thankfully. Now I just have to figure out what that means for me. I didn't have a piggy New Years though, but I did hang around other pigs with kids, so that was cool. We played board games :)

fang said...

at first i was like, ok - He's written this mammoth post and all He's said about London is that it's "cute".

then there was this:

"Nowhere in the world "parties" I CRINGE to use that word, like London. Its TOO MUCH FUN, like actually TOO MUCH, its fun till your THROAT BLEEDS!"


i love you buddy :)

happy new year Captain Fierce xx

Sue said...

I am so glad you got away and had a great time. Yay!

Did you get my thank you email?

Mathias N Oz said...

We need a pic of the beard, por favor.

raul1188 said...

let us see your beard!
please. :)

Jim said...

Glad you had a great time and glad you're back blogging. A friend of mine did mention to me once that, unlike here, everything is closed for Christmas in England...esp. in London. It's a very quiet day there in England. BTW, I love that expression "till your throat bleeds"...graphic but funny :)

David Mason said...

Tanks for the kind words guys!!!:)

JamTheCat said...

Dave in a beard is totally adorable. Scruff becomes thee. And welcome back. Missed, you were.

David Mason said...

Thanks again guys, I really miss it when I dont get to write to you guys and read your feedback and no sue Im not sure I got your Thank you letter though I dont need to youre such a great blogger and reader!!!