Wednesday, May 25, 2011

The Life Ball experience 2011

I was asked to be part of the Life Ball in Vienna. The Life Ball is Europes, but Im thinking the worlds, largest Aids charity event. It is by far the LARGEST SPECTACLE Ive ever seen. I honestly cant think of anything that compares to it. It dwarfs the OSCARS, its bigger then any giant circuit party, or fashion show.. I really cant think of any themed event that is a larger production, Oh the OLYMPICS?!, its smaller then the OLYMPICS.. I have NO IDEA how they pay for it all. They say its all charity but C'MON?! HOW?! If you had to pay for it I think it cost about 50 million... at least. The red carpet to the event, which I didnt walk because you had to arrive early, is about two AVENUE blocks long. Im not sure what that translates to if youre not familiar with an avenue block in NYC but Id say like 1/5 a mile???? The venue it takes place in is Viennas City Hall which is about as big as three GRAND CENTRAL STATIONS, but makes Grand Central Station look like PUBLIC RESTROOM. Vienna City Hall is somewhere between a CASTLE and TRAIN STATION and every nook and cranny of the place is covered in something for the event. There are multiple stages, clubs, shows, blah blah blah. Its a combination of an OPERA, a PARADE, a FASHION SHOW, a FORMAL WALTZ, a proper CLUB, a CABARET, and a CIRCUIT PARTY. They spend MONEY, I dunno where it comes from, but they spend the DOUGH! Its a cast of hundreds, maybe thousands and theyre ALL COSTUMED... this CANNOT be FREE?! Sorry but it cant be.... Just sayin... Im not saying its paid for with NAZI GOLD but SOMEONE is laying out some SERIOUS COINAGE. Watch this clip in its entirety to get a feel for it. At first it looks like some San Francisco street party and if the theme wasnt AIR the copious forms of WINGS and BODY PAINT would be unforgivable BUT I'll excuse it because of the theme. Next year will be FIRE, so I hope I get invited again. Once you watch more you see some of the waltzers, the runway show, the people FLYING AROUND.... they even had a PEGASUS a REAL HORSE with FLAPPING FEATHER WINGS?!?!? I GAGGED! It was AWESOME....

I really had a great time getting there as well. The plane was pretty much just for us and there were lots of SHOWS going on. Here is PRINCESS Xtravaganza and her "landing ensemble". They had a RED CARPET for us when we landed with PRESS. I got interviewed but I was BAD because i couldnt lie and when they asked if anyone was famous on the plane I said "No!... but there are plenty of people that THINK theyre famous!" It was quite a bit of fun. The flight attendants were flirty and fun. Having to sit with 30 male models was a HUMBLING experience. Though at first I took SANCTUARY in the safe embrace of my STEROID ENHANCED MUSCULATURE, thats what its for after all, but then I CHILLED OUT and was comfy as one can be when surrounded with people who make you feel like a PIGEON among PARROTS, PEACOCKS, AND FLAMINGOS. The models all had FACE, but body??.... not so much, and ass... NONE TO BE HAD. Is it negative to think this way, well YES, but CMON Id like to see what runs through YOUR MIND as you sit there confronted quite LITERALLY FACE TO FACE with an ARMY of people FAR MORE ATTRACTIVE THEN YOU COULD EVER BE... in terms of FACE.. I will give them FACE... I REFUSE to surrender my body or ASS though ( there is a first time for everything) , you need to have SOME KIND OF SOLACE. So we were all equal, we all have something to offer! So I just took a breath and realized that WERE ALL HERE FOR A REASON and we ALL have a SPARKLE, no body is LESS THEN and its COOL, and surprisingly thats how it was the entire time. Everyone was CHILL. Nobody was a cunt, nobody was jockeying for attention, everyone was social and friendly and happy to be there. There was all kinds of posing like this going on during the flight, lots of BOOZE and TRANNY KOOKERY.
Being at the airport with Amanda Lepore was fun too, JFK just STOOD STILL and got in line for photos. If youve never met her shes an APPRECIATIVE, KIND, and GENUINELY HAPPY PERSON. If you ask her about her life she says shes just happy to be HER... Its sorta rad... Why shouldnt she be?! She MADE HERSELF, and shes thankful for what she is now. I take lesson from that!

Here I am with Mandy and Kenny Kenny, who I was AFRAID OF actually because I never met Kenny really and being a LEGENDARY DOOR CUNT I thought she might come for me, but like I said... totally nice and just happy to be there. The dude in the Mets garb is Dj Sin who could not have been a nicer guy and opened the entire event.
I was invited to be there by Club sandwich of Paris.This was our smaller "intimate" space they had for us in a "Parisian" theme.
Club Sandwich is sorta THE fashion club in Paris. In fact not even sorta it just IS. You would think Parisian, haute Couture club people might be DIFFICULT at best, but again SO CHILL?! Emmanuel D'orazio and Marc Zaffuto who throw the club made everything so easy and fun, which is EXACTLY how a host should be! everyone was so relaxed and fun we all could have been PLUMBERS, there was no attitude. I think because each of us knew we all had a sparkle so that instead of being competitive we were all SUPPORTIVE, it was genuinely a VERY NICE FEELING. It felt like the my dreams of being in the LEGION OF DOOM, and it LOOKED LIKE IT TO. Notice I did not say the SUPER FRIENDS... We were CLEARLY THE LEGION OF DOOM, do NOT be confused. We are the force of CHANGE we are NOT the people responsible for retaining the STATUS QUO, that is a HEORES job.... LOSERS!
I was so happy to be part of a group of such talented people! A couple of the guys are responsible for the most legendary pieces of fashion EVER like Laurent Mercier and Erik Halley. I hung out with Erik and Laurent the whole weekend only to find out on the last day that Erik is responsible for making my favorite head piece of all time, the Chimera Dress by Mugler. I DIED, I really could NOT believe it. That costume was responsible for me going to accessory design school and is genuinely my favorite piece of fashion EVER. So to hang out with the guy all weekend and then find out hes a MEGA TALENT whos work I've tried to live up to for ten years years was really tremendous. I mean I have the picture of the outfit on my REFRIGERATOR!

Above is a clip of Francois and I when we arrived at rehearsals with Lady Fag to find that guy, whos name I forget right now, whos Lagerfelds sugar boy thats in the cruise movie I love so much that I posted below starring Kristen McMenamy. Ah, Baptiste something or other, watch the movie below. Hes a beaut and most gays throw shade at him but WHATEVER, hes cute and the poor guy has to endure Lagerfeld sucking his penis?! :/ So Im APPRECIATIVE and I have to say I giggled with excitement watching him "rehearse"... "singing" It was AWESOME. Its fun just to see someone TRYING IT, WHY NOT?! You've got ONE LIFE... More power to him... go for it kid... good luck! Gays hate themselves so much theyre NEVER gonna like you because if youre a gay male theyre TRAINED TO HATE YOU BY SOCIETY, which is why there are only NON GAY FEMALE GAY ICONS... but thats another LECTURE which Ive gone off about before...
After our "rehearsal", and I put rehearsal in quotations because I WAS FLOW TO VIENNA to basically do nothing but walk on stage and SMILE, SHOW THE OUTFIT, and WALK OFF STAGE.... HOW AWESOME IS THAT?!?!?!? ... (in a French accent) "and ladies and gentleman David Mason of New York!" ...that was IT!? RAD.... dream come true. I didnt have to sing, I didnt have to DANCE, I just had to BE PRESENT... Totally flattering.
Later I went down with Francois and Lady Fag to the Dsquared backstage where they did a fitting for Francois who walked in the show in a jock and armour.... i actually got goosebumps seeing the footage of him in the show. its great to see your friends TURN IT OUT and be able to do something that we all SEMI SECRETLY dream of doing.

After the show Francois and I put our costumes on and did our thing,and to be honest right now Im TIRED of writing, but Im sure its not hard to imagine the goings on... Brooke Shields made fun of my BIG HANDS holding a tiny champagne glass... Um LADY at 6 foot tall I dont think youre THE FIRST IN LINE to make fun of LARGE HANDS!?! It was actually sweet though and felt nice to be considered LARGE, I forget Im not 13. I met Holly Johnson from Frankie Goes to Hollywood and he was super nice too, very complimentary and it was a pleasure to meet the guy whos responsible for the best song of the 80s.

After the party Francy and I walked home at 5a.m with Marcs bf Florian Sailer who is a photographer. He took ONE photo of us on the way home... This was it... sums the entire thing up nicely...Im thankful for the entire experience. happy to make new friends and share with old ones, happy to witness such an over the top event and feeling lucky to be me.


Holly said...

So glad it was a good experience. You guys look great!

duaner said...

"At first it looks like some San Francisco street party and if the theme wasnt AIR the copious forms of WINGS and BODY PAINT would be unforgivable BUT I'll excuse it because of the theme."

My thoughts watching the clip exactly - LOL - but I appreciate hearing the whole back story and how everyone was relaxed and easy and non-competitive, and thereby being reminded that this IS a spectacle and that - no matter how slick or accomplished a "highlights reel" - the reality of such an event is only truly captured in attending it or being in it. (Whoa, run-on sentence.)

Also, totally agree re: Baptiste...and Francois...and male models...and... :)

gavin said...

You guys look adorable.

Where is thefootage of Francois's performance?

I know you like hairy, but Francois's legs look pretty smooth in those photos and I find it HIGHLY AROUSING/tongue-ready.

gavin said...

I've heard that Baptiste Giabiconi is heterosexually oriented and his fling with Lagerfeld is just "gay-for-pay."

I'm okay with that.

But what's harder to endure? Letting Karl Lagerfeld suck your penis, or letting him show off a nearly naked, chocolate statue of yourself waiting in his bed to the entire world?

I typically draw the line at life-sized, chocolate idolatry.

Erik said...

I´d been waiting for this post for days, I was so curious! Thanks for taking the time to write a long post with all the photos & videos.

(Isn´t it the curse of being a giant that they always place you in the last row in group photos...!)

gavin said...

I can't find any videos of the full runway show.

But Sagat's walk is shown for a hot second in this clip @ 9:56, complete with a close-up of his jiggling ass!

He's also interviewed @ 7:56 followed by Susanne Bartsch.

This has a good frontal shot of the gladiator look:

And these videos show the mantastic atmoshpere backstage, including Francy prancing fancily:

I have officially wasted an afternoon chasing Sagat's butt ...

Black Nyx said...

That's so awesome that you got to meet someone involved with what has been such a big inspiration for you. I love it when synchronicity like that happens!

Braver said...

AMAZING! Alot of inspiration there! Congrats David!

Braver said...

A lot of magic and inspiration! WOW

Jim said...

Sounds exciting! BTW, I don't think you need to "surrender" face :) As RuPaul says, "you're 'TP', honey...Total Package".

JamTheCat said...

Oh, Dave...if only to have been you for those few hours. It all sounds so fabulous. Absolutely!

Now you'll be impossible to live with, won't you? ;)

Flatulina said...

Great job explaining the Life Ball experience! This was my second year but I felt very much the same as you when I arrived at JFK on my own from San Francisco. Nobody slept on the 9-hour “party plane” so there was a lot of time to get to know people. Between that, and watching you glue rhinestones for nine hours in the next seat, the time passed quickly and I felt I landed in Vienna with many new friends. Let’s hope we are once again invited back next year for the 20th Life Ball!
Sister Flatulina, San Francisco