Thursday, May 26, 2011

Wow, Its so poetic I im actually excited about having to move on....

Ok, so if any of you read the blog with any regularity youll know I have ONE fuck buddy, simply known as "The Brazilian". Ive actually written about him a couple times before. The reason why he doesnt have a name is because even though weve fucked about once every month and a half for the past two years hes NEVER seen my face. Its always the same fetish scenario, I have a hood on, he does usually as well but sometimes not, and we have pretty much the best sex of my life. Like FULL TILT BOOGY lettin it all out CRAZY SEX. I just let whatever comes into my head come out of my mouth, its CATHARTIC, and believe me sometimes, usually EVERY TIME actually, Im like "I did NOT just say that?!" So because of this DEEP and PRIMAL release the sex is PHENOMENAL ... BUT... and there is a BUT.. there is no way I could possibly do it with someone who saw my face. Why, because I just COULD NOT divulge that information with a straight face, its TOO personal, its TOO emotionally attatched its just too INNER AND SCARY AND GOOEY AND CRAZY that I feel like if I were to say it without the anonymity of a hood it be impossible to open up this way. If this is a hard concept for you to grasp just see the HOOD as one of those SCREENS that catholic people curl up next to during confession. The hood acts like a shield for the deep, formative, inner workings of the brain, but allows for release....
SO.. The Brazilian and I have done it for like two years now and after this long hes figured out who I am. I mean its NOT HARD being that I have a FIVE FOOT PORTRAIT by Tim Palen of myself and Sagat on the wall as well as the Nagel by Kurt Walters in the living room not to mention it turns out hes a Slick It Up customer so hes seen me on there and put two and two together. So after a YEAR or so we'd actually chat for about a MINUTE after the sex, then it became a TINY bit more. Then I'd see him out places and NOT say hello, because I'd never actually been around him "IN THE FLESH", so I didnt wanna ruin it. Over time though Id see him out more and more and just decided to say "Hi" which was cute as it was somehow EXCITING because it wasnt like Id stop and talk, it was just a NOD and the raise of an eyebrow, because I CANT WINK...but then became casual as Id see him out like once a month as well so we'd talk a little bit more and I started to wonder... and this is when it gets dangerous... WHAT IF I actually opened up to the dude? I mean we have AMAZING sex, hes already "seen" my crazy filthy insides, he practically knows me better then anyone in fact. Hes a Slick It Up customer so he gets what I do for a living. Hes smart and has a nice job. Hes handsome. He has THE PERFECT DICK. Hes says the BEST STUFF EVER, I mean I have NEVER had anyone push my buttons like he can and amazingly I think he thinks the same things about me. So why dont I open up to the dude and consider doing MORE with the dude then just sex because it might be amazing to have a relationship with someone who youre so sexually compatible with, and respect their mind, etc etc....... SO We hooked up on tuesday and I though... hmmm. I think this time I will do it, after the sex I'll take the hood off. This may not seem like a grand gesture but BELIVE ME it is! Its like a shell of myself cracking open and an OTHER me stepping out from it.
We have great sex, afterwards were laying on the bed Im like "Well youve seen me before" and I just peel it off and I can BARELY look him in the eyes. Hes very sweet and says something very nice then lays down beside me and says "In June Im moving back to Sao Paulo for good." .........
Now normally I think Id be GUTTED, as they say in the UK but somehow that term really seems to fit but for some reason, but I dunno why Im HAPPY. The entire experience was so GREAT and TOTALLY POETIC that I dunno Im just HAPPY. The SEXCAPADE was just magical and it ended in this lovely tender way. Am I devastated that this hot sweet guy who I shared some amazing times with will just be gone forever... YES, but am I also happy that it ended in this sweet way that makes me feel like I can now somehow open myself up to something NEW???... Yes..... Awwwww... Brazil.....

10 comments:

RJ said...

Very sweet & romantic in a David sort of way

AwareGBM said...

It is kind of poetic. Its like My So Called Life ending at the right time....

Sexy Beast said...

That's sweet. I hope you find someone else.

neoncomeon said...

what a great ending to another chapter in your life.

neoncomeon said...

what a great closing to another chapter in your life.

Terry Glenn Phipps said...

It's very cool to me that you are able to tell this story (or just about any story from what I read) in a way that gives someone who's reading it an insight into how you actually live an experience that I think many of us can understand, but may feel we are off by ourselves having that experience alone.

One idea I get is that something inside of you must have known (call it intuition) that this was the right time to take off the hood and just see what happened. I don't want to sound like some nut who thinks everything is destiny, but there are just synchronicities that happen in life that make me believe there is some trajectory we live.

Then.....after reading your post I happened upon this, and I thought you'd get a kick out of it.

"I personally only like high-class escorts. I don't like sleeping with people I really love. I don't want to sleep with them because sex cannot last, but affection can last forever. I think this is healthy. And for the way the rich live, this is possible. But the other world, I think they need porn."

--Karl Lagerfeld

Terry Glenn Phipps said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mathias N Oz said...

Vacation to Brazil!

David Mason said...

Thanks for the kind thoughts guys!

potrero said...

OMG I can't believe someone mentioned My So-Called Life. It's EXACTLY like that. Everything comes together well and then BAM, over.

That show was so perfect.