Thursday, December 22, 2011

Someone wrote me asking about working out and bipolarism / schizophrenia . which i never considered...

A handsome guy wrote me on facebook asking about his body. he sent some pictures and he was fine. It was interesting because I assume he doesnt think i have the same issues about my body. He asked me for tips about what to do and what I think of his body etc etc. People dont realize that EVERYONE has body issues and perhaps the ones that have it the most are the people with the "better" bodies...
This was my response. I share it because I think it could help some people out there and thought it was very legitimate and I want to let people know EVERYONE has these issues. Its not like guys with great bodies strut around HAPPY?! SOMETIMES they do, but it takes work. Usually hot guys strut around TERRIFIED of judgement and insecure. Why do you think drugs are so prevalent at these circuit parties?
Heres my two cents to his question about his body :

Ok, youre totally fine. Youre body is fine. Are you a bodybuilder, no. Am I a bodybuilder no. Do you have to be?, no.
Im gonna give you a list of ideas:
1. dont compare yourself to anyone, it doesnt make sense.
2. dont feel pressured to be anything you dont want to be.
3. i know facebook can be overwhelming because its a non stop flow of hot guys showing off their bodies. Im totally effected by it myself. Try not to be as much.
4. youre very handsome.
5. confidence about your body at any shape makes you attractive. A guy with a perfect ten body that isnt confident about it is just as unattractive as someone with a non "ten" body that isnt confident about it.
6. i realize that you say youre schizophrenic and bipolar, thats rough, but perhaps try and make it less of an aspect of your identity. As a total stranger when you tell me that first thing it seems like you use it a a means of defining yourself when it may be an aspect of you but its not the premiere defining aspect of you and I feel like there are most likely a lot of way you could define yourself outside of something you have to struggle with. you seem cute and fun and are handsome. Bi polarism isnt something to be ashamed of, its healthy to be upfront about it but it seems to be a touch too much of the forefront of your identity. At least to me as a total stranger with one interaction with you.
7. i hear the meds do put weight on you, thats hard. I used to date a therapist so he told me all about that stuff. This may sound strange but you know what keeps me motivated? In the past ive taken a photo of myself, photoshopped it SLIGHTLY to how id like my body to be. and i print it out and put it on my refrigerator. Somehow it works for you to be able to see yourself in that way it makes it easier for you to get to that goal. Its like your brain recognizes it and knows what the changes need to be and it makes it happen easier. Its weird but its like this mind to body connection that facilitates change. Basically its easier to get somewhere if you see where youre going
Hope this helps
Dave

3 comments:

Eric Arvin said...

This is a wonderful response, David!

Malibu Eric said...

Dr. Dave, you are a very cool/thoughtful human being.

Baggy said...

I've read that spending naked alone time reading or doing the cleaning is supposed to help with peoples self body image. As dose sleeping in the nude. It helps me a bit anyway.