Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Tim Tebow is more gay then me, and Im a unicorn... Its so mean to make a gay with a lisp say BLITZING on camera


When I first saw this I thought he was making fun of gays. Then I realized it was NOT A JOKE?! I know many, many, many, gays, but I dont think Ive ever met someone THAT GAY, and this is coming from someone who poses for pictures dressed as a unicorn.
Oh his poor parents must have had NO IDEA what to do with him because someone that gay SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTS STRAIGHT OF THE WOMB! You know they had a parent to parent discussion and were like "Ok this kid is SOOO FUCKIN GAY what do we do???" and the other one said "LISTEN, the only way we can actually pull it off is if we just INGRAIN in him that he can NEVER HAVE SEX! Just forget about even trying to change the gay thing because JUDY IS FUSED TO THE BONE?! So we need to win on a TECHNICALITY! If he never sucks a dick it doesnt matter how gay he is the GAYNESS WAS NEVER CONSUMMATED!" So now this poor kid claims to be celibate, like ME when I was FOURTEEN.... :( I hope he WINS and comes the fuck out and spends all his money on poppers, trashy couture, and south of the border hookers.

8 comments:

Sue said...

Well, if he is gay, and there is quite a possibility that you are correct, he is probably terrified of the TRUTH. He, himself, would do anything in GOD's power to hide it, because, as we all know, it is a heinous sin to be gay! That is the absolute worst sin in the eyes of God! HORRORS! So he takes his only option and is celibate. Deep down, he knows he cannot change his preference for men. No one can!

I cannot wait to see him come out - but it will probably be well after his heyday is over. He must be horny as hell. Or there will be some lurid scandal revealed - That would be fun too! Though how he could keep any secrets with the media circus around him, I'll never know!

What triggered your acceptance of your sexual identity Dave? And then add his fear of the fires of hell to that, and we will know when he will feel safe coming out.

David Mason said...

I did the very typical process. I first wasnt gay, then I was "Im just me" then I went to college and like the first week a friend said "youre gay right" and I sorta gagged and said yes. Im not sure if I told my mom that I didnt really like girls before or after that though. It was a fight though after she told me I didnt know what is and what isnt funny after laughing over "Desperate Living" the film by John Waters that she did NOT think was funny.

Malibu Eric said...

Oh Dave, I had never heard him speak before and well, the hand gestures say everything!
I have a special thing for quarterbacks, my high school secret was that the jock quarterback and I, neighbors and best friends from grade 1-12 had sex 100's of times. Oh lordy I can see Mike in Tim Tebow! The hands, the hands!

Gregory said...

I read this post and nearly choked on hot tea because you are so funny yet accurate! David you ROCK!!!

gavin said...

Dave, are you saying your mom "never found the antics of deviants to be ONE BIT amusing?!"

-- Peggy Gravel, DESPERATE LIVING

marco said...

WELL,being christian,NO FUCKIN JEWISH OLD TESTAMENT,NO DISCIPLES WHO BETRAYED HIM,LET HIM SUFFER,DIE,MORTALS,ONLY JESUS AND BUDDHA'S WORD FOR ME,HEY,i never did think he was,but THAT'S A GAY BOY,MASTURBATIN,HIS BONE OH,POOR SOUL,IMAGINE,IN YOUR TWENTIES,NOT FUCKIN,now,people,i love christ,AND NOW WHAT IS HIS MAJOR,LONGEST,BEST,ONLY ENTIRE WORDED SERMON''THE SERMON ON THE MOUNT",IN MATTHEW,WHAT DOES JESUS SAY,RIGHT OFF,MATTHEW CHAP.6,JESUS SAYS WHEN YOU PRAY,"DO NOT PRAYETH AS THE HYPOCRITES DO,FOR THEY LOVE TO BE SEEN IN PUBLIC PLACES,STANDING IN SYNAGOGUES,AND CORNERS OF STREETS,THAT THEY MAY "BE SEEN OF MEN",VERILY,THEY SHALL HAVE THEIR REWARD",I WANT NOT THAT REWARD,HE'S PISSED,"BUT WHEN THOU PRAYEST,GO INTO THY CLOSET,AND WHEN THOU SHUT THE DOOR,PRAYETH TO THE FATHER,WHICH IS IN SECRET,AND THE FATHER SHALL REWARD THEE OPENLY.lucky to have a protestant scholar teach me,some aramaic,ect,when christ did speak of hell,it was "gehenna",and gehenna hell fire was real,a dump of dung from jerusalem,junk,garbage,where evil,thieves,lepers,held court,and no one wanted to be in "gehenna fire",so "tim",that makes you a phony,a fake,a person who prays for what,MONEY,GLORY,IT AIN'T FOR CHRIST,OR GOD,IT'S VAIN,and jesus knew the real hell of fusion fire was only,ONLY FOR "SATAN,THE LEGION OF DEMONIC ANGELS",READ IT IN OLD TESTAMENT,WHICH I ABHORR,christ himself said,"keep the 10 commandments,for they are good,but I AM NOW THE WAY,AND THE LIGHT,and for this,he destroyed the jewish religion,and was killed,either romans did,or the priest heierarchy would have,TIM,YOU ARE NO FOLLOWER OF JESUS!!

marco said...

SUE,LISTEN GIRL,THE SAME "LEVITICUS" WHICH CONDEMNS GAYS,"LEV 25:44-YOU,MAY POSSESS SLAVES,BEING THAT THEY BE FROM ANOTHER NATION,BOTH MALE,FEMALE-THIS IS HOW SLAVERY WAS JUSTIFIED,IN ENGLAND,ECT."THIS IS NOT GOD,IT'S JEWISH LAW,LEV1:9 YOU WILL BURN A BULL ON ALTAR AS SACRIFICE,FOR "GOD",BEFORE THE JERUSALEM TEMPLE,READ HOW THRONGS OF ANIMALS,BLED,KILLED,EATEN BY JEWISH PEOPLE,AS GOD SACRIFICE"??RIP OFF IF U ASK ME!,LEV11:10EATING SHELLFISH,CRAB,SHRIMP,LOBSTER,CLAM,ANY CRUSTATION,SCALLOP,ABOMINATION,AS IN FAG,AS IN A GAY????,exodus,35:2work on the sabbath,saturday,YOU WILL FUCKIN BE PUT TO DEATH,THEY DID THIS ,LEV19:19,,TWO DIFFERENT DAMN CROPS IN SAME FIELD,ABOMINATIONAND GARMENTS MADE OF TWO DIFFERENT THREAD,COTTON,SILK!!,YOU ARE GOIN TO HELL ABOMINATOR,NOW TELL ME,IS BEING QUEER SO BAD,!!AND ABORTION,"JEWS RIPPED THE BABIES FROM THE BABYLONIANS WOMBS",YEP,IT'S OK IN OLD TEST,AND FORGET CHAPTER,READ IT,BUT FOLLOW JESUS,dumb babtists say,"must pray to jesus to reach god",oh,shit,NOT IN THE BIBLE AT ALL,EH,SEE HOW THEY TWIST HIS GOOD LOVE

marco said...

BLOGMASTER,PLEASE I BEG YOU PRINT MY VERBAGE,AS I KNOW ALLOT OF GAYS,NEVER READ,BIBLE,AND IT'S COOL,JUST PRAY,AND LIVE,but slavery,war,slaughter,eye for eye,let people now know tims a gay clown,and jesus is a wonder,