Thursday, January 19, 2012

My Breakfast with RuPaul....and why grudges are like CHICKEN TACOS WITH HOT SAUCE.

So I was just lucky enough to enough a breakfast with Ru. Though I wouldn't exactly call it a "breakfast" for Ru as no FAST was technically BROKEN as she only nibbled on a piece of BURNT TOAST ( she ordered it that way) and had an espresso and a coffee. I was happy she lived up to her title of "Supermodel of the World" and ate nothing but CARBON. If he had ordered "The Lumberjack Special" I woulda wondered, not judged, but WONDERED???...
We met at Elephant and Castle in the village which is a bit of a cottage in the middle of Manhattan, like one expects Goldie Locks to walk in at any moment AND WOULDNT YOU KNOW SHE DID?! She was on time and as I sat there my table looked out the entrance window and I could see her come in. It was VERY Brothers Grim, she sorta had to bend over to get in and then sorta UNFOLDED as she got inside. She looked GREAT, face was tight, and the look was sorta like a GRASSHOPPER styled by QUENTIN CRISP. I got excited, I like these types of people. I can't remember if she had a FASHION CANE or my mind just filled in the styling blanks but it was VERY THAT. If you are around my age you may remember the Sesame Street piece about the boy remembering how to get home and he does it by remembering all the WHACKED-OUT PSYCHEDELIC stuff in his neighborhood but in reverse. Ru stepped RIGHT OUT of that cartoon. ... What the hell kinda parent lets her child out alone in a place like that?! Answer... MY KINDA PARENT!
So Ru sat down and we just started YACKIN' and Blabbing and KIKI-ing and it was like we were old friends, it genuinely was quite nice. The bitch TEARED UP twice?! and it just made me think "Oh she's HERE, she's FEELING THINGS, this is REAL." I was thankful for that. It wasn't a press conference. We were sharing stories about our childhood development, spiritualism, the foundations of fetishism, self loathing and the self love that comes after deciphering all that INSANITY and how if you didn't experience that rancid crap you wouldn't be the person you are today and how basically in the strange way were HAPPY about it as you couldn't just be told life lessons you have to FEEL them and thats EVERYTHING. Being PRESENT is one thing I have had to relearn to do and let me tell you once you can actually FEEL and UNDERSTAND being PRESENT is when you start living again. Im just now learning how to be present again. Ru and I really talked about some HEAVY SHIT. We talked for 2.5 hours! I can't even get into it all but some day, should we hang Id be happy to get into it over a drink or more preferably a SUNDAE.
As you know I am a FAN of the show. Did you know its shown in thirty countries but NOT England?! This neither Ru nor I can understand. She said they tried it there on a Friday night and it just wasn't well received. This is SO STRANGE to me as I feel like if anyone would appreciate the show the Brits would but NO. So sorry British people its not like the bitch didn't try?! I of course wore my RuPaul T shirt under my Jeremy Scott Rolls Royce LUREX SWEATER- Barf/AWESOME! I figured I should CLASS IT UP in FANCY COMPANY and nothing says IM RICH AND DESERVE TO BE HERE like a ROLLS ROYCE embroidered in SYNTHETIC YARN on your sweater! I then peeled it off cause i knew we both love a REVEAL and under the sweater was my RuPaul T-shirt. I thought it was funny that Ru hadn't seen the T-shirt yet and was dazzled just as I was that they printed her outfit in holographic glitter?! I had A LOT of questions for her both about the show and just random ones that I feel speak of a persons identity that are of interest to me, so LETS GET TO THEM:
1. Favorite color, animal, and villain? ( I mean if you fail this question why bother with the rest. Thats why I ask it first):
Orange, I could bathe in orange. Giraffe (makes total sense as its one of mine too but I think thats cause if WE were animals wed be giraffes) , and MAY DAY... (I mean I woulda bought her an ice cream cone just for that answer alone)
2.Have you ever experienced the supernatural?: YES, I was visited by a ghost in the Chateau Marmont! I woke up to find it had placed all the things in my room around me sort of pinning me in my bed, but it wasn't a negative force more like a childish playful one.
3. What did you want to be when you were a kid?: FAMOUS. (she answered this very quickly)
4. Do you hold grudges?: I HAVE HELD grudges but on a daily basis work to release those grudges. My mother died from holding a grudge. Grudges are like CHICKEN TACOS WITH HOT SAUCE. I think of chicken tacos and I salivate. My body has a physical reaction to that thought. A grudge is the same thing, it causes a physical reaction to happen inside as well, like CANCER. (We related on this as my mother also died from cancer from holding onto negative energy as well)
5. Is it possible for a white queen to win RuPauls Drag Race?: No. (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!)
6. What has been the response to the show in other countries?: Its very successful. Its showing in 30 plus countries and really BLEW UP in South America.
7. Why aren't there contestants from other countries as there is so much great talent out there?! I would really love to have people from other nations but the working papers are very difficult to get through for the show etc etc.
8. Why isn't season one on DVD?: Music licensing issues that we didn't have on the other seasons. Its the same reason why the Rupaul show from VH1 isn't available.
9. If an assassination attempt was successfully made on your life, who would you want to host the show?: I think the three previous winners working together would do a great job.
10. Can your body still support a pregnancy?: Yes, Im in my first trimester.
11. When is Grace coming on the show?: You know we've asked her every season but scheduling is very difficult. We shoot in July and its rare that people are in LA in July and its very hard to get someone to work for a day to only be on camera for no more then five seconds. (The day Grace is on that show is the day I figure out how to turn my refrigerator into a PORTAL and magically pop out of the clothing rack in the Interior Illusions Lounge.)
12. Who is your dream guest?: CHER, she is the ULTIMATE DRAG AUTHORITY.
13. You twitter your "cardio jam of the day", what is the cardio jam of your LIFE? The one song you LOVE to workout to every time it comes on?: "Shine", by Luther Vandross the Freemasons Mix, "You won't forget me" by La Bouche, and "Tell it to my heart" the Tony de Vit mix.
14. Are there any of the contestants that you thought got the HI-YAH to soon? They ALL get the chop to soon. We really look very hard to find total packages, show girls, and we really hate to see them go as they're very talented. Any girl can put on a wig and heels. We really are looking for people who can do commercials, perform on stage, photo shoots etc. We pick girls who can do it all so we really hate to see them go as they're all very talented.
15. Jocelyn Wildenstein, Princess Stefanie or Morgan Fairchild? Well I think the answer is OBVIOUS NO?! (No, who is it?) JOCELYN! We also asked her every season but she's never in LA in July :(

What do I have to do to get JOSSY on RUPAULS DRAG RACE?! Id be SO HAPPY! Ru emailed me a song she made of all these news sound bytes of people talking about Jocelyn. Its MAJOR and set to a Giorgio Moroder track. If you want it email me and I can forward it to you. It needs to be about 45 minutes LONGER though as Im barely stripped down to my thong back leotard before it stops?!

Thank you RU for such a great time, and being so generous with your time, and open with your identity! For those of you that don't have BURNT TOAST to LURE Ru to your home you can catch her on the new season of Rupauls Drag Race starting Monday January 30 at 9 on LOGO. You can also head to LOGOS WEBSITE to watch past episodes and get previews of the contestants of the new season!


Jim said...

Extraordinarily Fabulous! :)

RJ said...

A meeting of FabUlousity! at an Elephant and Castle no less. The cosmos is spinning.

frankie said...

What a wonderful post...David you captured the energy of your conversation with Ru that was so vivid and alive that I almost felt as if I was at an adjoining table listening in...thanks for asking my question and sharing your delightful experience with all of us.....

Chiko Chevere said...

that WAS a wonderful post. Thank you for reliving it for us, in immaculate prose, no less. I knew you could write a disciplined journalistic piece if you wanted to. Just another feather for your fierceness hat :-)

Chiko Chevere said...

that WAS a wonderful post. Thank you for reliving it for us, in immaculate prose, no less. I knew you could write a disciplined journalistic piece if you wanted to. Just another feather for your fierceness hat :-)

jdan720 said...

so jealous. I would love to see the unedited version of that vader photo though...