Thursday, March 22, 2012

Sour Easter Candy Review.... I only eat sour candy..

Sour Patch Jelly Beans:

Ok I am an AUTHORITY on the SOUR CHILDREN. I know about the different varieties, sizes, flavors and the countries each are made in all under the same name BUT they are not the same?!! Sour Patch brand Jelly Beans for example are made in BRAZIL?! and ONLY the jellybeans are made in Brazil, usually the standard child of sour is birthed in CANADA. The jelly beans are INTERESTING and sort of an ACQUIRED taste. They're almost SOAPY in taste but then grow on you and are yummy. They're sorta like a sour patch FETUS. Like an UNBORN SOUR PATCH CHILD that is still in the EGG! Yes, Its more like a sour patch hard boiled EGG! The consistency is of a jelly bean, which I'm not so crazy about as I don't like jelly beans for some reason, jelly beans seem too one note to me. Jelly beans usually lack texture to me, but these at least have a semi abrasive rough outside which is a delight to the tongue. Id give them a B as far as candy goes.... ok I just had two more Id give them a B plus... no wait I take it back. After eating the other candy this is definitely only a B.

Jolly Rancher Sour Bunnies:

Sour bunnies: They look NOTHING like a bunny BUT omg they are DELICIOUS! They taste just like a Jolly Rancher but have a VERY interesting consistency, candy is all about CONSISTENCY btw, its like a very soft starburst with a CRUSTY outside. The outside texture is that of a Sour Patch but then it breaks down and disappears almost immediately. They're almost like MAGIC?! Like you're eating one and then suddenly its GONE?! So you eat another and another and another?! This candy is GENIUS. I give it an A plus.

"Lemon Head and Friends" Jelly Beans by Ferrara Pan:

Ferrara Pan is currently on my SHIT LIST for killing off one of my favorite childhood ICONS OF CANDYLAND the exalted ALEXANDER THE GRAPE. I wrote about them stripping him of his title previously on Vader. BUT... Its hard to hate the ones you love... These "Lemon Head and Friends" (clearly a SHITTY COMPROMISE of name because they don't know what to call their candy now that they've stopped calling them by their previously genus names... ugh this makes me so mad... read the other post.) These jelly beans are pretty fantastic. They taste like CHEWY lemon heads and friends ( I hate myself for calling them that) and NOT jelly beans which is great. The taste is near identical to there hard candy brothers but dare I say EVEN BETTER because they're chewy. I give them an A .... MINUS... just because they're still on my shit list...

5 comments:

IanJ said...

You are as complex as the colors of all the jelly bellies combined

Jim said...

I LIVE for candy so I look forward to these reviews every year around Eastertime :) THANKS! About to get some of those Jolly Rancher Bunnies!!!!

Lucien said...

I got a whole package of PEEPS coming your way for Easter -- Sorry to say I don't think they are SOUR PEEPS

ChikoChevere said...

right ON for Sour Positivity. This isn't the first time you've mentioned it. The best thing about Target is when the bags of holiday candy comes in, and they'll use any holiday as an excuse to sell some bags o' candy. The first thing I do is look for what's sour. I need to start buying extra (more extra than usual, heh) bags for backstock...

ChikoChevere said...

Have you had Life Saver sour gummies? There's a "Mix O Reds" package that seems to be harder to find than the others. Sour cherry, sour strawberry, sour red raspberry, sour fruit punch, and sour watermelon, all together in fierce harmony. Hell yeah.