Monday, April 9, 2012

Rupauls Drag Race All Stars..... Hit List

Ok, so they're about to start shooting Rupauls Drag Race ALL STARS. Im just gonna name the queens I can remember and my personal thoughts on them. Im actually very excited about it as it is the creme of the crop and it will be fun to see a more seasoned cast battle it out so we won't have to sit here and drink ABSOLUTE COCKTAILS while we wait for the SANDBOX DRAG QUEENS to be sorted OUT and OFF. The names I list aren't ALL the queens competing, just the ones I know will be there, and that I can REMEMBER. If I don't remember their name its probably a sign that there isn't much of a shot so just act like a twat ala Phi Phi so you get that camera time. I also want anyone reading, especially the queens and friends of, to know that I REALLY appreciate them and their work and think they're all GREAT and TALENTED people and I truly mean that, but Im gonna be real honest and objective with this run down. Im gonna talk about them like race horses or boxers and just be honest... almost SCIENTIFIC even! Chanel: (shannel??) :
She actually is pretty good. Yes she's kinda classic and very VEGAS but she does have the best eyes and I do like a professional. She'd have the best make-up if Raven didn't exist. Raven has better lips, Chanel has better eyes, but somehow Ravens overall EFFECT is received better. I dunno why??? OH WAIT I know why!! Raven is SELF AWARE and Shannel isn't. Thats it, Done. Raven KNOWS she's "Jealous Beauty" ala Joan Collins and SERVES IT, and Shannel IS "Jealous Beauty" but doesn't recognize it and THAT is why Raven wins. If Shannel was more self aware she'd be more successful I think. Chanel has a better body then Raven but Raven just has that edge I appreciate.
Chanels styling needs, well...STYLING its too costume and even costumes needs some styling, (though why she didn't wear this Pirate Ensemble on the show is beyond me cause its HAUTE) her ensembles are too "on the nose" and exactly what you expect but I don't want what I expect. I want to be surprised. She's sometimes seems to err on TACKY in a COUNTRY way which to me reads as POOR and UNINTELLIGENT. Like if you're gonna do SKANK you have to be self aware or it ACTUALLY IS SKANK, again the self awareness thing comes into play. She's a pro, a gold standard, but I dunno if she's top three material. Top four yes, top three??? hrmmmm.... all comes down to styling and confidence for her I think. Raven:
She's my favorite of the bunch. I mean DUH - Look at her. I wish she did corseting though cause her body is a little thick and shapeless. Best make up, best wigs, I kinda wish she would win but honestly she just went to jail for DUI and I can't imagine Absolute Vodka giving 100,000 to someone who's had two d.u.i's... but she does deserve to win in my book so....You know what though, I wish Ravens looks were just TEENY bit better, they're not as cunt as they could be. If she just went on EBAY and bought some MUGLER she'd OWN THE SHOW. Raven, email me I can let you borrow some Mugler I bought for a female friend! Manilla Luzon:
She's got its all right but just needs some styling to her looks. She's got the Bob Mackie "Glamour Fun" thing DOWN but she's needs like a SERIOUS look to contrast the "comedy girl", like all different hair, make up, lighting, and styling. If she can bring an Italian Vogue element to her wardrobe she could easily win, and by an Italian Vogue element I mean a long latex glove paired with a mini skirt some CHUNK ROCK jewels (NOT DRAGGY ONES THOUGH), real expensive shoes, and a fur accessory... thats what Patti Wilson does with every editorial for Steven Klein and it works. Jarra Sophia: Is that even her name? I tried googling her TWICE and no pics came up ... BAD SIGN! She's too poorly coordinated to win and her sense of humor is lost in translation. A dreadlock wig with a colored contact, on top of a ball gown on top of opera gloves, sitting on a platform heel, wrapped in belts, and dripping in banji earrings is just SLOPPY aka POT-LUCK STYLING. I don't see her, which is hard to do with ALL THAT LOOK GOING ON. The other puerto rican queen from the fir.. OH.. NINA FLOWERS:
I like Nina, she needs to class her look up because it was almost there first season. If she can class the look up and style it better, tone down the overness with the make up she has a good shot. All these Puerto Rican queens need to go like DENMARK and learn something about CLASSY MINIMALISM. I don't think they realize that "overness" reads as ENTRY LEVEL, which is the proof you ARE entry level. The looks appear too physically heavy and home sewn. Edit, edit, edit, are three words for Nina.. Juju Bee:
The funniest queen on the show yet and the peoples princess. Too bad her styling sucks so hard. We all like her. Pandora Box:
She's nice, seems like a genuinely nice person. I don't particularly think she's so funny but like Jujubee she has more Facebook fans then Rupaul which is weird.. She's well liked. Her looks need refining. They're clunky. Tammy Brown:
WOAH Tammy is back?!?!? AWESOME!!! She is a mentally ill person and I like her because of this FACT. SHE WALKS WITH CHILDREN IN THE WOODS?! ( Do you remember her using that as a comeback in an argument?!) Tammy is the TRULY disturbing one. Sharons SCHTICK is to be the creepy one but Tammy is the one actually freaking people out. If Tammy won it I actually wouldn't be upset, but the rest of these queens would be. Long story short final three: Manilla, Raven, Nina.. One from each season, each a different schtick... good ratings.

5 comments:

AC said...

Yara Sofia.

And please name one Danish drag queen with the recognition these PR bitches have. Just one.

Can't? Not surprised. Classy minimalism. Please.

rashasha said...

I am in agreement with your assessments (which is not really surprising). I love Shannel and love your insights about not being aware of herself. She reminds me a lot of Kirstie Alley.

I am really excited to hear Tammy is coming back! She is, exactly as you say, the truly disturbing queen of Drag Race. I just done't think that her schtick will translate to a general audience.

You didn't mention her, but, I bet dollars to donuts that Shangela will be back. Ugh. He is an actor and a striver - and Ru obvioulsy loooooooves a striver if they do it the right way. But, Shangela really should just be pursuing a career on CSI or some other nonesense.

I was wondering if you had any thoughts on Mimi Imfurst at all? Another striver, and, I honestly thought he was funny sometimes and has some talent, but, he is so "theater" and unrestrained that I don't see people liking him unless something changes.

David Mason said...

I wasn't saying a danish drag queen I was just saying the concept of quality design, danish modernism, but I guess its lost...

David Mason said...

I just think mimi is creepy. She seems like she does drag cause she's not good at being anything else which is sad to me.

AC said...

I got the reference.

My point about a Danish drag queen is great lamps & chairs don't necessarilly equal great drag (pop culture or anything else).

Anyway, if everybody looked like Raja, yawn.