Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Ok Im gonna be honest

Im doing a smaller roid cycle. Im in the middle of it. What is interesting about it is that it makes you very aware of what ACTIVATES you. Good, bad, angry, horny... its all so easily "set off". The word is CONTENTIOUS. The elevated testosterone makes you less scared of confrontation which in turn makes you MORE CONFRONTATIONAL, it has made me sort of a DOUCHE but a successful TOP! Im doing my best to be "normal" and still try and be funny BUT You forget how in tune it makes you with what annoys the hell out of you. Thats the bad part of it, the hyper vigilance and the non stop sex fiend brain. You're so in tune with things that set you off because you're so "on" something steps in your way and you're ready to destroy it, for what stands in the way between your goals MUST be removed. Its all very interesting, there are so many ways to think about it. For example the reason why I think you get so much more horny and aggressive is I think because the elevated testosterone makes you more assertive and dominant and because of that you're willing to take more risks, you're less worried and are all about doing NOW and thinking LESS. FUCK MORE< EAT MORE< KILL MORE...It makes for an alpha creature which is good for a pack as a whole as a strong alpha provides food, protection etc.. It makes sense scientifically. Like in order to pic up a spear and run towards a mastodon you had to have NERVE. The testosterone gives you NERVE, the higher the testosterone the higher the nerve which makes for a successful predator, you're willing to hunt, kill, fight more often and more easily which leads to a more fit, well fed/ nutrient rich, and dominant creature... The thing is the mind set that makes you wanna attack a mastodon isn't one you wanna sit down and have a sandwich with!... Navigating the heightened senses is the tough part. I feel like I've been pretty good but its also why I have NOT been writing. Im unfocused and not very introspective, how can you be introspective when you have mastodons to kill?! Thats another interesting aspect, the elevated testosterone makes you far less in tune with your feelings and just PREDATORY... Its really fucking amazing how hormones control the brain, your thoughts, feelings, etc... I only have a couple weeks left and Im ready to get off this already though I do love the pump... its fun being huge-ish, walking down the street feels like you're a parade float.


Anonymous said...

David, I would be curious to know why you decided to do a cycle...are you working on a project or something that you felt you needed to be "bigger??" I also would be curious to know, do you partner with a doctor when you do a cycle of steroids or is it something you have always done on your own?

Anonymous said...

I am being completely serious when I say this, but it sounds like PMS. The difference is that I don't want to kill a mastodon, just my immediate family. Good luck my dear. I find a Midol chased with a bottle of Merlot does wonders.

David Mason said...

1. Thank you Sir Butterscotch for the advice.
2. I dont do the mones with a doctor. I'll check in with a doctor to be sure my levels are fine maybe but otherwise I do them myself. Don't ask me where to get them but you can buy them online.

Rico said...

I coming off a cycle that I started in February. This is my 2nd week with no poking. I just want my sperm back and I am trying to be conscious how my mood is changing from the 'aggressive' attitude to more laid back. From horny jacking everyday to a more laid back attitude. But I am determined to keep gym time active to keep any mass I attained. Hopefully lose water weight and leaner. At 62, I still want to be a big boy.
I love your honesty. Your body is fantastic.