Saturday, July 28, 2012
FLOP AND CIRCUMSTANCE!!!
That was THE WORST opening ceremonies I have EVER seen!! I was honestly expecting to feel CREATIVELY INFERIOR after watching this. I mean this is Great Britain home to MOST of the great clothing designers and a HUGE amount of talent in the arts...apparently none of them had the interest. That was a CRAPPY, SLOPPY, SHIT SHOW! I mean if you're going to do historical why do the shittiest costumes... why focus on SMOKE STACKS and SICK CHILDREN when you have knights in armor, mod (ok they sorta did mod but it sucked), punk, georgian, victorian.. blah blah and blah but they chose ABRAHAM LINCOLN VAMPIRE HUNTER and small children who STARE into the camera!?.... The fucking FRANKIE SAY RELAX shirt wasn't even how it used to look?!?!?!? WTF They sang "Hey Jude" at the end and NOBODY KNEW THE WORDS because they're all too young!?! The queen was BORED.(GASP! She did NOT just do that while the PEOPLE WHO PAY HER BILLS walked through the door?! THAT is the difference between Americans and British people! If The PRESIDENT or the FIRST LADY did that as America walked through the door the next day they would have to resign, all the nations of the world would say how horrible of a nation we are, and the Presidential Family including dogs, cats, goldfish, maids would be exiled to FRANCE) The royal family looked EMBARRASSED...and they were right!.... The production honestly was nothing, like it had zero focus or direction. I can't imagine how if you were watching it in the stadium there would actually be something to focus on? It was like just DECORATIVE CHAOS... The GARBAGE PARADE... The FOOD COURT AT THE MALL WITH SUFFRAGETTES. If I had paid a thousand dollars for those tickets I would have been PISSED. Imagine watching it as a spectator in the arena?!? That weird baby BOILING IN A SHALLOW PAN?! It would have been AWFUL!!!!!!???? If you handed me, and six of my friends a sparkler and 75$ Im willing to bet we'd give you something to remember... This CAVALCADE OF CRAP did NOT... They picked up the set while you WATCHED?!?! Like was that pastoral scene so imperative it was worth watching them pick it apart and take it away while they came in with an even more uninteresting set??? You know what?, I TAKE IT ALL BACK!... THE QUEEN WAS RIGHT!?! Why is the FUTURE or "modern" always MIXED RACE?! People have been around for THOUSANDS of years and we still look the same. Why is the future always FUNKY and about a girl that looks like she works at the SWATCH counter?, and no matter what race she is she has an afro!! .....ALWAYS!!!! Japanese... Afro... Latin ... Afro.. The only hair in the future is an AFRO or if you're white you can have CORN ROWS but BLACK HAIR is the only hair in the future apparently... Sign me up for the FLAT TOP FADE... VERY CONTEMPORARY! The UK should be BASHED for this. They're clearly doing all of this just for the money but then weren't even willing to spread for a show despite being one of the wealthiest nations in the world!? Im actually GLAD this happened because now for the rest of my life I can hold my head up high, ABOVE the british, and If any brit has comment I can say "I REMEMBER 2012!" and if they have any self respect and honor and honesty about them they'll crawl under that MINIATURE GOLF MOUND they built in the stadium and HIDE LIKE A HOBBIT. In the parade of nations we all picked different nations, before seeing them come out, to have as our personal sex slaves... I chose Cuba and Lebanon.... BAD INVESTMENT!!! Italy was the top pick. I was sad to find out that Im a dinosaur and that France and the United States don't make people in white anymore. Beige is trending, the future is funky. Maybe I can crimp my hair and get a job at the Swatch counter.
Posted by David Mason at 12:58 AM