Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Im gonna talk about three thing here: RuPAULS DRAG RACE ALL STARS (surprise), Why I don't trust gays/people making babies, and why/how Logo needs to change.

Rupauls Drag Race All Stars makes me insane. I watch the show like one of those crazy HOCKEY DADS who scream and yell to a degree where you're forced to realize they have substituted this behavior for the sex they no longer have! I am biting my nails, clapping, cackling, cheering, my neighbors hate me and I now take it so seriously I NO LONGER WATCH IT WITH FRIENDS because I CANNOT DEAL with their normally funny banter because the show is so serious to me I now see it as INANE CHATTER! Ru's dress from Monday, the turquoise sheer number, may have been her best yet! Chads wig in the finale?!?!? Chads wig was EVERYTHING! She looked great. I like that she does more MATURE HAIR. Like I never knew hair could be "mature" but Chad does AGE APPROPRIATE HAIR and I like it!! I love a BLONDE FRIZZ. Its my favorite. Ok here is my letter to Logo: Dear Logo, Are you gay? Cause you don't seem gay. You seem like that weird guy in college who's into Vampires. You seem like a straight guy talking to me and telling me what you think a gay guy wants to hear, and its gross. THE BABY WAIT?!?!?! THE BABY WAIT... WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!?! Who thought that would appeal to ANYONE?! Let me tell you as a gay who buys things... I DONT WANNA SEE THAT... EVER. Its REVOLTING... I don't know who grosses me out more the CORPULENT welfare cases who get pregnant irresponsibly OR THE GAYS WHO WANT TO ADOPT THEIR FLESH TURDS?! (Actually gays adopting children I just semi-curl my lip at because I think if gays desperately want a child they SHOULD adopt and thus prove they actually do want to be a parent because there are kids out there who need a family, but gays refusing to adopt but CREATING a child is not about parenting but about their EGO and I feel its a DISHONEST ACT and therefore SUSPECT and open to critique. To me gays who make children are no different then horrible fashion girls with little pure bred dogs, its not about the kid or the dog its all about THEM... BARF.. Now this barf is only a barf because its PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE ATTENTION SEEKING. Trust me, I am ALL FOR HONEST ATTENTION SEEKING but masking it behind a child or a puppy makes me wanna PUNCH YOU IN YOUR CUNT FACE because you're basically abusing that kid or child because that thing is innocent and you made it/bought it because of YOUR NEEDS, NOT THEIRS.) - back to this rant being about your network.- THE ONLY GOOD THING ON YOUR NETWORK IS RU TO THE FUCKIN PAUL! I think FEARCE, the scary movie night, hosted by Sharon Needles is totally a cute/clever idea but aside from that your network is SO OFF THE MARK. I don't know who is the head of programming but they have it beyond wrong. The channel needs to DELETE all the SKANK reality programming they have/had ( WTF was that show about these guido-folk and their dad who got released from prison?! I'd watch the Discovery Chanel if I felt like watching a family of monkeys!) Let me make it REAL EASY for you. Show fierce/campy shit from the 80s and 90s. I realize thats hard because whoever is in charge obviously has no concept of what fierce is but just look at my tumblr and THATS WHAT FIERCE IS. Use old USA network as a model. I remember when they started in the 80s. They showed campy stuff with Rhonda Sheer, who was rad-(and yes I even remember Captain USA who sucked turds), and they built from there up. I realize the LOGO network has 8 cents as a budget, so SHOP SMARTLY. Spend your money on some obvious blingy pieces that are a success (RU), and then fill the rest in with cheap garbage that people enjoy. Any savvy shopper can tell you this and you cannot tell me that fierce 80s movies cost much. You showed Clue and Troop Beverly Hills in October... GREAT MOVE... now just play 50 other movies in the same vein. I shouldn't have to make a list but I will otherwise I know the straight guy who must be in charge will pick Priscilla Queen of the Desert .. AGAIN for the 47th time not realizing that that movie is a gay movie for STRAIGHT PEOPLE. The reason why I can tell the person in charge of programming, or at least high up there, is not gay is because he thinks gays came from Gay World and only like/understand things that are TOTALLY GAY and because he's not gay he doesn't realize that GAYS ARE BORN FROM THE SAME MOM AS THEM and that we are FORCED TO LIVE WITH THEM UNTIL WE CAN ESCAPE so we are therefore forced to FIND FIERCE SHIT that is HIDDEN AMONGST THEIR STRAIGHT CRAP. So therefore the things they show don't have to be OBVIOUSLY AND EXCLUSIVELY gay to be on the network. I understand they're trying to broaden the network by doing just this thing and I appreciate that but the TOTAL LACK OF UNDERSTANDING is why the network is a flop, outside of Ru. Im not being paid for this shit so Im not going into full detail but here are some things to show: Paris is Burning, 60s Batman series, pro wrestling, Weird Science, Indiana Jones, Romancing the Stone, Crimes of Passion, (anything with Kathleen Turner), Beverly Hills cop 2 (2 only), Conan (either one), Red Sonja, 80s James Bond (actually 70s bond is fierce too), Golden Girls, The Craft, Clueless, Mad Max Beyond the Thunder Dome (Im willing to overlook the lead douchebags behavior for the sake of Tina Turner and great art direction), The facts of Life, Dynasty, any of the many 80s mini movies that are camp classics, NOT WITHOUT MY DAUGHTER, The Legend of Billie Jean... that kinda crap. If you're going to make your own programming make a travel show. It won't cost much and it'd be interesting to see new hotels/parties around the world. Would it be that hard to do a show that just showed three full fashion shows a week? That could be made free of charge using the labels footage. I wish someone would listen or just hire me to consult. OH!?!?! Can 1 girl 5 twenty something Canadian homosexuals (aka 1 girl 5 gays) just go away please.


DarinCA said...

What I wanna see on LOGO is a daily news show like Drag News Network (DNN) starring Pandora, Shangela, and Jujubee! I would dump "The Daily Show" and watch these girls preach the truth about General David Patraeus.

M said...

Saying that true desire for parenthood manifests itself by selflessly adopting someone because they need a parent, not because you need a child, feels fundamentaly wrong to me. There has to be something in it for you, some emotional/psichological need that makes it personal, and not just some good-natured, generous desire to be of help to the needy. Giving a third world person a goat so they can be self-sustainable, that's a selfless act of charity. Inviting them to come and live with you had to be driven by something else.

My guess is the drive behind parenthood requires seeing a bit of yourself in your kid (which you're much more likely to if they are actually, genetically, yours) because subsconsciously you are giving yourself a fresh start, starting all over through them and trying to get it right this time.

If that seems awfully egocentric maybe it is, but passive aggressive is not the right word.

To draw a comparison with a very different type of relationship, it's like saying that it's only morally valid to be in a sexual relationship with someone if you set all personal needs and body/personality type preferences aside to concentrate solely on the other person needs/wants from you, because we are all worthy of love/lust and you shouldn't be selfish or discriminate or attempt to get anything out of it other than a sense of having satisfied someone else, asking for nothing for yourself. How would that be normal? If you're not allowed to get something out of it then why would you do it, other than charity? And what does charity have to do with what is supposed to be a very personal type of relationship, designed to satisfy peoples' emotional/psychological needs?

A truly selfless adoption would be getting yourself a child only to throw it into the arms of a nanny and then a boarding school: efficient, impersonal, cold, but no doubt saving an innocent baby from growing up in an orphanage. Then one can truly say one has gotten absolutely nothing out of it.

Unknown said...

As a gay who wants bio kids or at least one, I will say that to a degree that all people who have kids relate it to their ego to a degree, some more than others. Gay or straight its pretty much projection into the future. The reason why we don't choke them so early is because they are a 'piece' of you. Its a egotistical act (making them) that forces you into the role of caring for someone FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE and being on the shit end of the relationship. Like. Forever.

I've talked to straights about this about having your own flesh and how serious they are about "lineage" and having sons for namesake. Some of it sounds cray but I understand it a bit.

However, adopting them as well is a little to your ego as well. All good parents will connect anything their children do to being about them. Its just a little more 'noble' and altruistic then dropping your own bio crotch droplet. And adopting kids is fucking expensive! All you need for your own bio kid is a good friend, jack daniels, a solo cup, and a turkey baster.

No shade, though 'cause its a bit of truth in what you say but don't view your people for doing the bio route any differently than the straights.

RJ said...

Sadly, we don't get LOGO in Canada, but instead have OutTV, but they have the same sad programming. Love the Rant!

Rico said...

Bring back the 80s with reruns of The Nikki Haskell Show blasting out Lime's Your Love. Her interviews were sometimes so nuts, Tanya Tucker was so high screaming a shout out to Fire Island. Studio 54 Steve was interviewed. And for the world of fashion and design I adored CNN Style with Elsa Klensch. She did it all. I heard they would not show Tom Ford's digs because they read too S&M leather man. Best part, I was introduced to designers form the whole wide world. The Supermodels just coming into their own. Your Thierry Mugler and Claude Montana were always covered by her. Whatever happened to Mary Mcfadden and her damned pleated togas?

Unknown said...

I live in England... all TV is gay here :-) But still no Ru on our screens. Dave you should totally set up your on TV channel, Ru could leave logo and be "slick". And make sure it's viewable on both sides of the pond!

David Mason said...

Ha Rico, I agree! but Tom Ford didn't exist in the 80s, it was Thierry Muglers house that they wouldn't show! Where is Elsa now???

Malibu Eric said...

Per usual I could not agree with you MORE! LOGO is a disaster, (with exception for Ru shows) my god, that fucking stupid 'reality' show of pageant kids? Why they don't unearth Ru's talk show with Michelle Visage is beyond me. Everything Ru on Logo is gold.
Elsa Klensch is now a mystery novel writer with her recurring character Sonya Iverson - maybe Logo should option one of those for a made-for-tv movie? Cheers to DarinCA for the drag news winnah!

David said...

There is a program on Fashion Television (and on E!) in Canada that is JUST runway shows. It's called RAW and it just shows a couple of shows each episode uncut.