Thursday, January 10, 2013

I would fuck most of these faggots right in the ass really hard, except for ginger afro.. I can't handle that one sexually, she's appreciate fully but beyond my threshold of faggotry to fuck.

I dunno why but if a masculine looking guy puts on something faggoty and sexy I get TOTALLY HOT and TOPPY?! I dunno why but I do. I genuinely get all hot and bothered and wanna nail them in the ass hard. Like if they're masculine and not faggoty I probably wanna GET FUCKED by them but if they're masculine and wearing something fagotty I wanna top them... I dunno why. Its weird. My old boyfriend would do it like once in an uber rare moment and Id love it but he hated it! Id beg him to act like Kelly Lebrock in bed lol. He did it ("it" meaning get on all fours on the bed and put your finger in your mouth and make slut face and wag your ass) like TWICE and that was it..... Fuck her! ;). I can't blame him, its TOTALLY EMBARRASSING, but thats the endearing part! This is someone who has total SHAME FETISH mind you but then you realize this was ACTUALLY EMBARRASSING as opposed to FETISH EMBARRASSING which are two complete different creatures... Oh you know what... I just figured out why it makes me toppy. The thought process is this: I see a hot guy looking sexy but also faggoty. IM sexually attracted but feel sorry for him because its "embarrassing", in my brain which it shouldn't be but the unconscious mind has nothing to do with logic, and therefore because I find him attractive and simultaneously relate to this incredibly tender and potentially "dangerous" exposure of his inner faggot (I considered using another word besides faggot but realize in this fetishy way it actually is an inner faggot and not a "feminine side" or some pc bullshit) so I want to offer protection physically and emotionally. I put myself in a "protector" role which then puts me in a head space where I wanna offer them "protection while accepting their sexual identity". Like I actually physically wanna wrap my arms around them and hold them tight, so Im in a "dominant" role, yet simultaneous find them sexually attractive which equates to "Its ok, Im gonna fuck you and make you feel understood, and safe, and sexy." Which is how I unconsciously put myself in the top role. Its funny how if I start writing about something it all just becomes clear where as if I just think about it and don't write it down theres no concise path of thought and therefore it just remains in the world of mystery, but if I write it down I can see the path and put the pieces together. Maybe I should dress more like a mega bottom. See and here I think in order to get a dude you need to be a mega dude when I don't even follow that rule myself... Though I will say you have to be a DUDE first and THEN act faggoty if you're just full tilt queen 24/7 its not sexy to me because there is no "exposure" of the soft underbelly. Its just ALL under belly, and I want a shared secret. Maybe thats why Im such a friend of trannys??? That I can relate to what it feels like to have a "secret" because I was a fairly passable child/teen.... Learning many things about myself this morning!?

1 comment:

Sandiboy66 said...

They look like their dancing on a giant puckered asshole. Interesting choice of floor pattern.