Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Rupauls Drag Race Season 5 Episode 5 Review

This season of Rupauls Drag Race they have REALLY got a good editor. I find with this season I dunno if the editor himself is funny or someone telling him what to edit is funny but the general pacing and editing of the show is just MORE CLEVER. Like COPIUS CUTS to Alyssa SIPPING ON A STRAW whilst "overhearing" a conversation with all of the QUEERDO TURTLE-ING that is unmatched by the best of any character actor had us howling. I mean (lemme see if I can find a pic, one sec) this episode Alyssa out of drag (O.O.D) was DON KNOTTS THE HOUSE DOWN. Hurray for that. The editing is so well crafted this season that its the first time I feel they are REALLY in control of what we think of the characters/contestants. I mean Alyssa (am I spelling it right) I really hate to love, but I do. They've really got us BOUNCING AROUND on her. Another character they really developed well and took almost ONE TO ONE from the film Pretty in Pink is Jinx Monsoon. I mean they basically have painted her as Molly Ringwald and I LOVE THAT! . If ANNIE POTTS shows up as a guest judge Jinx wins this thing. I love that they have taken these drag queens and made them interesting, complex, real people and not done the "Housewives/Bravo" thing and made them VILE DESPICABLE CREATURES. It must be an involved search. I wonder if they honestly sorta have a pow wow in casting and ask "who are some characters we love throughout time and WHERE DO WE FIND THEM?" or do they just sorta see what enters and then paint a story around that? Anyhow Jinx Monsoons portrayal of Little eddie MAY have been the best Snatch Game contestant ever? It was SEAMLESS, and good for her for choosing A CHARACTER. Over and OVER and OVER these DUMB QUEENS choose someone who is FAMOUS but has no CHARACTER.. its WEIRD. Its not about POPULARITY kids, its about CHARACTER. The best Snatch Game characters have never been the big stars of today... I commend Roxxy for TRYING a new character, but I didn't laugh as much as I wanted to, AND SHE DID THE SAME JOKE AT THE END AS CHAD MICHAELS/CHER LAST SEASON WHILE SITTING IN THE SAME CHAIR?! Ive heard of "Cher and Cher alike" but this was RIDICULOUS! Which brings me to IVY WINTERRRRRRS, poor thing, she's CIRCUS FOLK so the books she had were probably STOLEN BY A MONKEY. Its weird that someone can be creative but not be smart. I guess thats like a MECHANIC? (not to insult mechanics) Like you can solve problems creatively but aren't curious so you never actually get the wisdom part though you have the SKILLS??? She is a classic case of PRETTY CAGE....but NO BIRD. I think Michelles visceral reaction to anything green is curious but I get it, because I am the SAME WAY about stuff like DREAD WIGS! GOD I HATE A DREADED WIG. Contrary to Michelles critique I thought Deetox looked perfectly fine! Her legs looked long and we all giggled at the surprise CAKE TWIRL. I also thought that Puerto Rican needed to GO on PRINCIPLE ALONE. Her look for the final runway walk was not ANYTHING CLOSE to the required theme?! Im sorry but if you don't have an "Under the Sea" look in your GLAD RAG DRAG BAG you don't belong on RPDR. She wasn't THAT visually impressive, Ivy for example wins for PURE VISUALS, and in all honesty the girl who NEVER EVEN HAD A NAME (Word to the wise DO NOT make your name so hard to spell you can't be googled?!) really just looked like the GREMLIN THAT DRANK ESTROGEN from Gremlins 2... THATS WHO SHE SHOULD HAVE IMPERSONATED?! I was so glad they chopped her ignorant uninterested/ing ass. After this whole "Who's Diana Ross?" "Whats Edie Beale?" thing I just don't have time for uncultured kids. I KNOW its my job to teach them and I DO, but I'm not gonna drag anyone UP THE HILL. You are SO WELCOME to follow, and Im HONORED if you, do but DONT MAKE ME REACH BACK THERE?!! Why am I up?!?!? I went to the gym twice today, I did legs and then YOGA at night I am EXHAUSTED but can't sleep. Is it from Yoga? Yoga is new to me. I started in December and its really changed my life. I am very honestly coming into my body again. Its wonderful. I mean Im a person who has a hard time bending over to PUT MY THONG BACK ON and this has really helped. I am NOT flexible so I needed it because I could tell my body was slowly locking up and AGING. Im already feeling more flexible and agile but is this why I TOTALLY AWAKE at 2:21?? Im usually in bed by 11. Tonight I tried sleeping twice, taken two baths, written this... ugh..maybe Ill get all LADY WITCH and light a candle in the dark or something... Jinx... this ones for you....

4 comments:

Sue said...

As you get older, you have to keep stretching to stay limber, as you have discovered. Yoga is a good way to go; I also use it. All of the stuff that you had naturally when you were younger, goes quickly away when you get older. As you have seen, this goes for flexibility and also for strength, algility, balance, and endurance. They go away faster the older you get. Sad but true! But it is never too late to get them back!

http://suefairview.com/

Steve Cruz said...

ROFLMAO, fuck! Your photo comparison is spot on, I peed a little its so fuckin' hilarious.

You nailed the episode, especially Roxxxy's lift of Chad Michaels punch line— I was screaming at the television! I do that. It's kind of sad. It's also kind of sad when a performance that should be slightly below average like Roxxxy's Tamar Braxton is heralded as one of the best. That's what happens when you grade on a curve? We were pretty disappointed in the general lack of smarts that dragged down what should be the best episode of the season.

At risk of sounding like an old man maybe its a generation thing? Camp is dying, wit is dying... in our age of post-15 minutes anyone and everyone willing to have conflict on television gets 'famous.' Comedic timing has been replaced by train-wreck timing ...and this passes for entertainment. So maybe we can't exactly fault the kids for a general lack of understanding of how the game is even played. YEAH WE CAN! It's called the internet children, do your research! we live in an information AGE! I know one thing Little Edie would have had her own reality series. They know Honey Boo Boo but they don't know Edie. o-KAY....

My advice to Drag Race 6... do Snatch Game '14 after the shake out... you only need 6 to play. Bravo David! Still peeing...

Malibu Eric said...

Yes mam!! Jinxx's Little Edie was and is theater worthy. Right now she could go on. I smell an off Broadway revival with Jinx and Lady Bunny. The minute Lin-nay-sha said she didn't know who Diana Ross was...exit stage left. Buh bye. Irritated beyond drag belief.
Anyone else completely bored by Coco and Alyssa feud? Please let that die a quick death.

Robert Rumsey said...

OMG!!!!! After watching that episode I thought I was a just am old queen. I mean....Taylor Swift, Katie Perry, Tamar Braxton and I LOVE Detox-but Ke$ha? And Miss Coco L'orange doing Janet 6 nights a week in Vegas (fierce shade by Alyssa) and Ivy didn't even LOOK like Marilyn. Ladies, if you are going to be boring-at least give me pretty or something. I have no words for Lyneshia-Youtube her audition tape and it tells her WHOLE story...she know like 6 words in english, has a sewing machine, cheap fabric, a donut wig and some plastic crystals.

I was sooo upset I went on The elimination Lunch with Michelle. These children-even old Coco and her butterscotch powder have zero herstory of drag OR gay culture other than Jinx, Detox and Alaska. And when they came for Jinx for being a comedy queen or reading her for doing lil' Edie I was done. If your only references are Rhianna, Beyonce and Nicki Minaj-you should NOT be on Drag Race. It's insulting. Quite frankly-I think the editing is so MAJOR this season because they needed to edit the filth out of the show so there would be redeemable content. Most of the queens are so boring, uninteresting and uncultured even Ru did a twofer in elimination.

The good news, for all the crappy queens-we still get Detox to worship, Jinx to relate with and Alyssa to test our nerves. I know I shouldn't like her-but I kinda live for her delusions of grandeur. But, there ain't nothing wrong with a shake and go.