Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Rupauls Drag Race Season 5 episode 7 review.

Im SO SORRY Ive taken so long to get this review posted! I had written a really good one but I LEFT IT AT THE BUS STOP.?! I sure hope you already saw the episode otherwise you don't know what a ROTTEN joke that was. This episode was the Ru roast and it was FULL of surprises. I actually think this may have been the best episode this season yet?! I liked Rus look. It was a SLITHERY 80s gameshow girl effect. Very Price is Right vs SERPENTINE QUEEN. The eyes were different which she RARELY does- slightly upturned for a reptilian flare, and the hair was somehow different, CURIOUSLY different like ..wait a minute was it a wig from her HO HO HO Christmas album??? Hrmmm no, thats not it. I dunno, the hair was STARE WORTHY. The look was a little "cheap" but I LIKE CHEAP. Like a serpent itself some gays watching it with me were hesitant to its approach, but I live in Snake Mountain so I put on a TURBAN and picked up a FLUTE!. Last week her look was real classy anyways, so she had license to get flashy. You wanna know why I like cheap? Because I've already had classy, Ive been it, Ive done it, I don't need to see it, and more importantly I don't need to prove it. I admire the freedom of doing your own thing in someone more then a little black dress. I like to see someone have "SEXY FUN". I find it attractive in a person that they can be relaxed enough and comfortable with themselves enough to ALLOW THEMSELVES to be a little showy. I CANT RESPECT YOU IF YOU NEED TO BE RESPECTED. If you care what other people think so much that it makes you choose conservative decisions that aren't your true personal tastes then you're WEAK and I DONT CARE ABOUT YOU. Anyhow the Roast was a good idea and the queens actually did way better then I figured. Its a shame Alaska is on this season because she IS funny and she IS talented but its just not remarkable because of Sharon before her. Its a timing thing as to why she's not more of stand out. I was SURE Ivy Winters was going home and she was gonna BOMB the roast. It turns out she wasn't fantastic, but she was BETTER THAN ROXXXY. What was with Roxxxy totally FLUBADUBBING the roast?! Why have the two biggish girls FLOPPED the comedy challenges when its assumed that they will sparkle???? Curious..... Perhaps the assumption that "THE BIG GIRL IS FUNNY" makes them NOT want to be funny because they don't wanna be "the big girl" I BET THATS WHAT IT IS. I could see myself doing something similar to that. Coco Montreses routine was a clever move. When she said "Coco isn't funny, but the person I'm going to be IS." I actually thought, "Well that is kinda smart?!" She played Rupauls "Hoodrat cousin." The guy from Absolut Vodka who was one of the judges loved it. I think its weird when OLDER GAY WEALTHY-ISH WHITE GUYS like it when black trannys do "GHETTO SHOWS". I never like it. Id rather laugh at a RICH WHITE LADY then laugh at a POOR BLACK PERSON. Who knows/cares though as long as people are happy I guess??? Do you know whats weird? Im kinda secretly an Alyssa fan now, and Im not the only one?!. I think she's oddly honest. Like she has NO SHAME in being herself OVER and OVER and OVER again DESPITE ITS OBVIOUS FLAWS. Like i kinda feel like people pick on her more than they should, she is actually pretty consistent and I THINK maybe she'd be someone you MIGHT work with okay... MIGHT.. I mean she might be the person you can't stand and dream of throwing a pot of hot coffee on, but I dunno something about her almost charms me and I think its her honesty. Its funny that her job is to be somebody else but she isn't really being anyone but herself and that I respect. THAT is whats interesting to me about this show. I like watching THEIR BRAINS WORK. I like to think its the costumes, walks, humor, make up, but actually its the contestants BRAINS that are so interesting to study... Like HOW WEIRD IS IT, that Alyssa COULD NOT UNDERSTAND what a JOKE was??! Like that is fascinating to me. I NEVER KNEW someone could honestly NOT understand what a joke was?! That was INTRIGUING and she had NO SHAME about it, which I LIKED?!. Long story short Alyssa and Roxxy BOMBED the Roast challenge and had to lip synch for their life. This of course was sort of a shocker being they both are top three contenders in my book. They both did very well. I actually think Alyssa did a better job BUT Roxxxy pulled a STUNT FOR THE RECORD BOOKS and did a DOUBLE WIG REVEAL?! The entire concept of drag is sort of the POSSIBILITY of a REVEAL and the MAGIC of transformation so when it happens BEFORE YOUR VERY EYES its sorta like REAL LIFE WIZARDRY. Roxxxy DEWIGGED HERSELF to reveal ANOTHER LONG WIG UNDERNEATH?! The look on Rus and Michelles face was SO GREAT. Its so nice to see PROS like them get WOWED. The problem was she just stood there and that was it. I mean the stunt was good but Alyssa did do more. Ru made up for her previously decided double elimination and kept BOTH of them. Which we hoped for. Is it really gonna be Coco and Alyssa in the finals? I don't like Coco, kind of AT ALL, but I mean it kinda would be an AWESOME finale..... OH MY GOD, I forgot about the TEARY FINALE. Ok so Roxxy is stupid like a foxxxy. Apparently his original mom LEFT HIM AND HIS SISTER AT A BUS STOP when they were 3 and 5?!?!?:(.... Obviously FUCKING ROTTEN AND AWFUL and it really made you feel for him and question your own childhood. My mom was the countys senior probation officer and delt with child custody endlessly so I kinda grew up knowing about all this rotten stuff so it was less shocking to me but UGH. HOW AWFUL... I mean everybody has been through something awful, but still that was exceptionally rotten BUT ...mind you.. she chose to reveal this AT THE FINALE, POST PERFORMANCE, BEFORE JUDGEMENT. I think its an honest story and I do feel for her truly, BUT, lets be real for a minute and know this came from the queen who just managed to wow OLD PROS LIKE US with a WIG FLIP so it is NO SURPRISE she FLIPS THE SCRIPT again and make US cry and NOT KICK HER OFF?!... Roxxxy, kudos to you Miss Stunt Queen Extraordinaire....You figured out a way to keep peoples attention, and Im willing to bet it was because your biological mom was rotten and left you so subconsciously you were like "How do I keep someones attention so they don't leave me?!". Someday you'll thank that lady for leaving you at the bus stop. Its what caused the spark of your talents. Fireworks can't light themselves, but cause the spark, give it some time, and watch what happens...

10 comments:

rashasha said...

Thanks for your review! Looooooove "I'd rather make fun of rich white ladies" so true!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTvNAK3qqJc

Malibu Eric said...

I'm still mad at 80% of the queens because they did not know who Little Edie was. It just killed me with their lack of gay history. I had such high hopes for Coco but she can go home anytime. How about next week? My 14 yo niece contours with more subtlety than her. Roxxxy who started SO strong and now after the singing and comedy episodes....snore. Alyssa is wacky but I adore her point-to-where-she-is-gonna-walk-next runway. If Ivy could pump up that charisma factor she would be a total contender.
So going out on a limb, who do you think is going to win?

Kurt Walters said...

Finally! I've been waiting for 36 hours to read your thoughts on the Bus Stop reveal and it's timing.

David Mason said...

Ok I think the final three will be Deetox, Alyssa and Roxxxy (modern,classic,sexy plus size minority)

Phillyguy said...

I like Alyssa too so I was surprised that she had to lip synch for her life! I actually think the final three will be Alyssa (wishful), Alaska (she's growing on me) and Jinkx Monsoon (a silent threat)!

Bear Aspirin said...

Great review. The most interesting thing about this season: no clear front runner. Has there been a season that by episode 7 almost everyone has won ONE challenge? I think this is a calculated move on the show to keep everyone guessing. Every week my loyalties change so I have gone with who has pleased me the most: Alyssa with her charmingly crazy persona, Alaska with that dry wit, Jinkx with her devilishly clever approach. I'm hoping these will be the final three.

David Mason said...

I think both of you guys are totally right and I agree with your choices. Im disappointed Deetox isn't giving more. When I saw her live She KILLED ME.

Martha Stewart said...

Dear David,

Am I the only one concerned with Roxxxy's...yellow nails?

Those are some jaundiced cuticles...I hope it's just poor taste and not the hepatitis....

Lord knows the treatments it took to get Alexis through it.

Sincerely,
Martha Stewart

David Mason said...

I DID notice the nails and commented on how much i LIKE them. I love a racing yellow nail and or pump!

Bear Aspirin said...

World of Wonder had a comment about the yellow nails:

http://worldofwonder.net/posts/2013/03/12/the-rupauls-drag-race-comedy-challenge-curse/