Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Rupauls Drag Race Season 5 Epiosode 10 review

I could be wrong with what episode number I'm reviewing because I'm on my iPhone at the gym waiting for my yoga class as I write this so I can't easily go back and check etc etc. I can correct it later if Im wrong. This episode it was down to five. Now is when it's ALWAYS GOOD. The lipsynch, the banter, the costumes etc. The last queens standing were coco (why? she's too "regional"), the TRANNY TRIPTYCH Rolaskatox, and the girl who probably has always been the odd one out Jinx. Yes Jinx is a great person and I do like her, but like JUJU BEE before her, being "the peoples princess" is a title that comes SANS CROWN... AND like JUJU somewhere between their humor and their charm there wasn't room for good styling. Maybe when you're confident and charming you're less concerned with appearance, but they should be because WE WANT THEM TO BE and as entertainers listening to what the public wants is how you make $$$. The "doing it for me show" is a VOLUNTEER GIG. Anywhosill, This episode was the make-over episode which I always appreciate more then I let on. The moral of the episode is the same as every make over episode which is "Having a narrow jaw is nice if you wanna be a lady, and if you don't you're a cave person." The guys to be made over this season were gay military veterans. I was happy to see how the hottest one was a WOMAN. If his behavior wouldn't creep up on extremely annoying Id totally be into fucking him. THE MOST INSANE PERSON ON RUPAULS DRAG RACE EVER (Tammie just lost her crown) was the oldest of the veterans and he shared a personal health battle with Jinx and it was super sad and you felt for him, BUT this does not mean he ISNT ALSO that crazy queen you get stuck to on some form of short term public transport who tells you her LIZA LIE. When I was younger I might have believed him but I remember when I was like 25 this older queen told me this convincing story how this lighter he had belonged to Judy Garland and I told it to my bf at the time who was older and he just said "There is always some weird queen who tells a lie about him and judy garland.... always." and he was right! but this time the weird queen had a MURDEROUS TWIST which he LOVED to REVEAL with a DOUBLE EYE BROW RAISE as though her words just performed MAGIC?! The guy said that he thinks HE MIGHT HAVE MURDERED JUDY GARLAND because he was the one who told her about the pills she died from an over dose of. When the dude said it, Rupauls casual BACK UP and LAUGH and pressing of the INVISIBLE SECURITY BUTTON was SO PROFESSIONAL. It really was something you can only learn from being famous and having weirdos come up to you all the time. The smoothest route from CrazyTown to your inner PANIC ROOM is the GIGGLE BACK UP. The fake engaged smile and laugh placates them so you can back away before they get the gun out! Now I wanna get into the mind of this MAD MAN. He gave a very honest and heart wrenching tale as to why he's in the health condition that he's in and I sympathize but I wanna know why someone has a PUBLICLY SHARED FANTASY of KILLING THE MOST BELOVED GAY ICON OF ALL TIME. It doesn't take much, he didn't share it with shame, he shared it with a DAZZLING DELIGHT. The kind of delivery you see on the face of an actor playing a child molester offering a lollipop to a kid. I think unconsciously he wanted to punish us with this information and the idea of taking something away from us that is so close to "us" (more his world then mine as I have no opinion on her what-so-ever) might be a secret wish for someone who beloved health was taken away from them but HE SHOULD HAVE KEPT IT A SECRET. Everyone has crazy fantasies, everyone, but when you start sharing them as though they're truths I thinks when people start doing the GIGGLE BACK UP. Anyhow the chubby person told a CrazyTown lie (Why are liars always chubby or from Minnesota or BOTH?!) and we all got creeped out but then felt bad when he confessed he can't support his own weight, literally, and there was one dude who looked like a full queen already which poor Alaska had to PAINT DOWN because he looked way better then her in drag, and there was a sexy one who was a full queen, and this other poor dude who looked rough because he had a pit bull jaw. Coco and Detoxxx were selected to LIP SYNCH FOR THEIR LIVES because post make-over Cocos partner looked like a TOTAL DUDE 9Like actually MORE STRAIGHT because he looked like a guy dressed as a "pretty lady" in a dorm room production of "No means No!- Why its bad to rape girls" a PSA, and Deetox didn't nail the challenge AND I think the REAL REASON Detoxx was placed in the final three is because she was the only one with the ability to SLAY THE DRAGON and defeat Coco in lip-synch because as much as Coco sucks and is a bore on stage she also does EXACTLY WHAT IS "RIGHT" so its hard to say she's wrong. She's correct, but also basic, she can out dance the other girls so it was really going to come down to a STRONG LOOK and a GREAT PERFORMER who is "out of the box" to defeat this "CORPORATE" style drag that Coco does so well. Everyone wanted Coco to go home and her lip-synch was disneyfied and FAUX SMILEY and gross and she lost. I appreciated Detoxxxes confidence in her lip-synch and she was so powdered down she GLOWED on stage and although she couldn't dance much in a latex hobble dress you couldn't take your eyes off of her. I appreciate her angles. I DO wanna know way though if you thought you might have to lipsych for your life you would wear an outfit that you can't move in. The queens do it ALL THE TIME. I think it must seriously limit your chances for TOM FOOLERY. So now the show Is REAL GOOD its Jinxy vs The Witches of Eastwick or the Stigeon Witches or the witches from HOCUS POKUS or Heathers its really up to you how you cast it but Jinxy better be on her toes and IF SHE IS, she will win us over which is what it takes to win the game.


Christopher said...

You write, "I think unconsciously he wanted to punish us with this information and the idea of taking something away from us that is so close to "us" (more his world then mine as I have no opinion on her what-so-ever) might be a secret wish for someone who[se] beloved health was taken away from them but HE SHOULD HAVE KEPT IT A SECRET. "

I love how you nailed Ru's unusually dampened reaction to this bald-faced lie... But you are really onto something in the quote above. The fantasy of having killed Judy--and the delight he has in sharing this twisted assisted-murder fantasy--is surely related to his other confession of having "AIDS" (and was it Jinx who so diplomatically and correctly backtracked it to "long-term HIV survivor"?). The relationship between the drugs that make him unsteady on his feet and the "sleeping pill" that he tipped Judy off to... Hmmm. Not that I disapprove of or "read" him in any way -- tough stuff he's had to deal with. It's that human psychology is fascinating, and I love it when someone is enough of an open book that you can see the twisted defenses our minds psyches develop.

Hmm. You may be right about Jinx, but maybe it's time for a non-visual winner. She's genuinely smart and savvy. Juju was too, but she always choked, whereas Jinx is like a clutch athlete. Now more than ever it's anyone's game.

Anonymous said...

Regarding the old vet, I think he just wanted to believe he touched the life of someone famous -- granted in a negative way. It seems like a power issue. However, you are right, even if true, it's not something a normal person would want to admit.
So Coco imploded on schedule just as I had predicted. Her own drag was banal and poor Horchatto. Yikes, he did look busted. All of her bluster was an effort to hide her insecurity, which got her booted off in the end. I think Detox is next. She just ain't bringin' it!