Friday, November 15, 2013

In 2008 I wrote a very long comment on here and never posted it on "masculinity".. Reading it again I realize it holds up but now I would stress the importance of recognizing the performance of it but also enjoying it and somehow enjoying it makes it more "real"

This is the comment: There is no such thing as "real" masculinity. The word itself is just a cultural concept, its not a fact. So if youre wrapped up in that youre kidding yourself. A women could be into all that exact same stuff and she wouldnt be called naturally masculine, she be called bull dyke full of tryory. I think its a really a bit naive to say one thing is "naturally" masculine. I feel security is "masculine". Guys hung up on being "masculine" are usually HUGE TERRIFIED PUSSIES. Ive dated some and they fall apart at the seams when you call them "gurl", they cant handle it, THAT to me is NOT masculine. I dated this dude who was SO hung up on being "masculine" He looked "masculine" and acted "masculine" and when you went to his house he had CATS and LAVENDER WALLS. Ugh he was sooo fucked up that I HAD to rip him apart about the subject, I almost made him cry...TOTAL PUSSY. I mean I know im a total castrating and vicious CUNT but dont come for me about the "masculinity" stuff. Ive experienced it first hand and know EXACTLY what its all about. MY DAD was a General with the Pinkertons, smoked cigars, played sports, drank a pitcher of beer and two whiskey sours for dinner ( yet I never saw him drunk), hunted, took me to GIANTS and YANKEE games (SNORE), all that cliche bullshit, but knowing the guy I just came to learn he was a TERRIFIED TOTAL PUSSY. All that shit may have been "natural" to him but the "masculinity" adage is a TOTAL put on. My MOTHER was "feminine", tall, and pretty and had balls about 500x bigger than my dad, wasnt a terrified person and actually stood up to people if she felt someone was "coming for her". There was nothing "naturally masculine" about her but she was so much more of a STUD then my dad who on paper was "hyper masculine". Which is sorta a large portion of why I am who I am today I can see the importance of the "look" but also know how that is NOT REAL, and what it takes is NERVE to be powerful which in essence is "natural masculinity". SECURITY is masculine if you have the BALLS to be different , THAT is masculine to me because that takes COURAGE and NERVE. Thats why I like all these kooky type straight guys , oddball women, and fierce gays, because they have the nerve to be themselves which essentially in my mind is what is "masculine" . They have BALLS basically. I find that your concept of "naturally masculine" often just means terrified and confused. Im mean sure they put up a good front and I have to say its sexy for like a date, but you see right through it after about twenty minutes and just see them as a silly and desperate hoax. I mean if a guy was "naturally masculine" and had the balls to be interested in something transgressive, wear a grace jones t shirt, or even just say "hey gurl" as kind of a joke then I think its great but its never happened just because like I said from the very start "masculinity" is a put on like everything else, just because theres a lot of advertising that backs it up doesnt mean its "real", it just means they know they have wildly insecure and terrified customer who needs to conform to preconceived and regiments behavior. The reason why I think you DONT see it is because people who actually are powerful, "masculine" and have BALLS can see through that masculinity hoax so they DONT NEED TO DO IT, its not that they CANT do it, YES some simply CANT do it. It just like being a femme queen you obviously need the right "look" but I mean people with actual balls arent insecure so they dont need to put up the front of "naturally masculine" . I for example find it sexy so I like doing it. I actually LIKE looking like a dude but mixing it up by either wearing something a little faggoty like a samantha fox t-shirt or talking openly in public about GAY SEX or simply being comfortable embracing a faggoty moment in public if I want to. I can only do this because Ive become more secure as Ive gotten older and realize "oh shit I actually can be a dude AND a Full Queen if I want" because Im secure and THAT takes balls. Im 6 4 and now 222 and could probably beat 95% of straight men in an arm wrestling match so Ive learned that nobody is debating if im masculine (this btw is a new concept because for YEARS, up until about 2 years ago, I just saw myself as the awkward walking candy apple head I was when I was a kid. thank god my bf helped get it through my head that im actually a big dude) so I feel I almost have to counter it be being openly faggoty because I dont wanna come off like one of those "naturally masculine" dude who are pussies. Yes I turn the levels up and down depending on the situation and what Im going after at the moment but I think that being able to shift is really important. To me it shows ability to "pass" in either sector which to me is a sign of security and thus "masculine" . My friend gave me a great compliment once it its really meant A LOT to me he said "David You are a FIERCE dIchotomy of dude and full queen." I was so honored I felt like I really achieved something that is super important which is personal security, honesty, and a "real" identity. Dont get me wrong I am WILDLY INSECURE but just hearing that made a big difference to me and helped me realize that what Ive been working for for all my life has paid off. Its not easy being a both AT ALL , because what ends up happening is most of either of the two groups are TOTALLY THREATENED by you and they dont like you, but also Ive found that the people that DO get you ARE the SECURE ones who you want to meet in the first place. So honesty is the best policy I guess here . If you feel youre being totally honest in your "natural masculinity" then great go for it, sounds totally hot, but youd be the first one ive ever met in my life. Even the most "masculine" guy gets a little faggoty at some point. I think David Lee Roth is a great example of natural masculinity. Friendly, smiling, works as an EMT but also not afraid to wear spandex , do high kicks and pout to the camera, the dude has BALLS. I think all of my "fierce straight men of the day" are great example of what a "naturally masculine" dude is....

2 comments:

Jimbo said...

One Word: AMEN!

JamTheCat said...

Solid words. I don't know what I am, these days. I sometimes think just the fact that I lived as long as I have means something. But I never really thought about it the way you put it. Thanks for helping me think more about it all...