Dear Restoration Hardware, please never send me your TWELVE POUND CATALOGUE, its literally 12 pounds, of fake antiques again. I actually feel sorry for the trees that were sacrificed and toxic dyes that were used for me to throw it directly into the recyclable bin. I never bought anything from you, nor did I ask for it. I appreciate the GUERRILLA GUILT TRIP you've taken me on as much as I appreciate your rusty designs and shotty products that you've repackaged as "shabby chic"!!!
Why do I hate fake antiques so much??? Let me tell you...To me it says "I live in a deluded dreamworld where I don't think about what the space I inhabit is but I WISH TO PERCEIVE that its this classic old fantasy that says "Im real, Im classic, Im correct" when Im completely UNWARE that I am in a PARTICLE BOARD BOX WITH PLASTIC SHINGLES in a room full of FAKE ANTIQUES MADE IN CHINA which is really no different then a room full of chinese lanterns because its still all just FAKE CRAP MADE IN CHINA and I have no idea about the world, or my world and and I'd really not rather think, please don't make me think, I just want to eat garbage and die and go to heaven where I can just do the same thing and eat garbage forever without judgement, Im so blessed."
God doesn't like fake antiques.