Thursday, March 26, 2015

Rupauls Drag Race Episode 4 Season 7 Review... Why Trixie deserved to die

Im so happy this episode happened because I was just having this discussion with friends as to why knowing your history of fierceness is important and this episode really does a fantastic example of doing just that and why its so crucial to know the difference between and importance of our ICONS OF FIERCITY.
Last Saturday I was at my friends house doing a game night of "Celebrity". Well Sheena Easton and Teela from He-Man were thrown in the mix and half the crowd "early thirty somethings and communist era escapees" had no clue who they were. Now I understand if half the room is going "How can you possibly not know the importance of MAGICAL LADY NUMBER 547-subcategory B-17?!?!?" you're going to have a defensive reaction because its mildly humiliating to be shamed for not knowing something AND the simple fact that you are not from the COUNTRY or ERA means you've heard this a MILLION times before and its really hard trying to know every fucking lady and why they're important. Yes, it is A LOT but THATS WHY WERE SO FIERCE BECAUSE WE KNOW A LOT?! A shallow pool of references makes for an uninteresting person. Its also REALLY IMPORTANT you learn this stuff otherwise you will LOOSE LIKE TRIXIE MATTEL?!
Our friends were trying to argue that its the here and now thats important and how can these old people matter blah blah blah, I understand its all you can say because admitting that you were standing in line for toilet paper while we were watching Sheena sell asymmetrical hair, half tees, and hardbodies at Ballys just SUCKS and nobody wants to go there BUT GOD DO I WANNA GO TO BALLYS?!?!
The thing is you have to remember that ALL PLANES OF CONSCIOUNESS ARE HAPPENING AT THE SAME TIME, so there is no OLD or THEN what is fierce "then" is the same fierce as "now" and it happens everywhere. Its happening right now on some branch in the jungle where an Orchid Mantis is hanging out on an orchid waiting for its prey and its AMAZING.. same thing as Sheena Easton.. no different all the same cosmic energy so its important to take it all in for the greatest understanding for as we know those who can see the future coming OWN the future AND those who don't know the past are condemned to repeat it so therefore knowing the past is crucial to the future!!!
This bring us to Trixie and Pearl. Im basically just chopping the entire episode because really not much happened. They did parodies of Rupaul songs and they were all like EH. The "winner" Kennedy Davenport was a WTF moment. She wasn't funny or good or anything. If I had to pic any of them I would have said Katya should have won. She was the best performer in the challenge and I thought she had the best runway look as well. Kennedy Davenport, the dollar bill dress lady who is just someones DAD IN A DRESS, and Kandy Ho gots to go. I mean the dollar bill dress lady is like DRAG FOR STRAIGHT PEOPLE and I DO MEAN THAT AS AN INSULT. Kennedy Davenport is so low rent she accepts tips in form of WIC CHECK. I mean all that going on backstage in Untucked with her about padding.. padding to me is CHEAP. I mean Im fine with it but its so just…. TACKY. I understand a little padding if you like thats totally cool but those ladies are the CHINESE BUFFET of padding.. "ALL YOU CAN PAD FOR 3.99" .. CHEAP... its such a third world concept in my eyes, and I am judging them for not knowing that. I think if padding is important to you it means the females in your life were fat which means you were poor and that you see women as GLOBULAR OBJECTS, not POWERFUL CREATURES and you shouldnt embrace that because holding on to negative family traits just because they're familiar to you is not exact a gesture thats TRANSCENDENT is it? Lets not celebrate your families terrible life choices, much like Laganja and her "celebrating" marijuana… just NO.
Anyhow the final lip-synch caused quite a stir with some people as it was Pearl versus Trixie Mattel and Trixie lost. Now I IMMEDIATELY received a text message from my former communist friend saying "How is this possible Trixie was so much better?!" well see if he had known his fierce history he would have known how WRONG Trixie was for doing the COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE CHARACTERIZATION of Debbie Harry and her song "Dreamin'". Trixie did this like GOOPEY CUTESY THING of a performance to BLONDIE…. WRONG?!?! BUZZER SOUND FROM FAMILY FEUD.. Anyone who knows Debbie Harry knows how insulting it is to portray this edgy New Wave/Punk queen as CUTESEY. It was actually RUDE. The only way I can actually sort of describe it for the children of today would be like if you took a Lady Gaga song and then did it as though you were KATY PERRY. The Gaga fan would just go "OMG STOP?! WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?!" but you see neither Trixie nor my friend knew this AND THATS WHY THEY LOST. I actually thought Pearl was GREAT. She had the glazed over eye/Gozer the Gozerian/ I am channeling a higher power/ Grace Jones robot hunting prey thing and I was REALLY INTO IT! That is MY kind of lady! Whats even more amazing is her outfit was ALMOST EXACTLY TEELA?!?!?! This person is CLEARLY in touch with the higher powers?! Its just as I said before Teela is the same as Pearl, which is the same as a King Cobra, which is the same as a fierce roller coaster, which is the same as LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM which I had the poster of in my bedroom as a child because I KNEW IT HAD TO FIERCE even though I never saw the movie?! So there is all this online brouhaha with younger queens about "Justice for Trixie" but girl don't say shit like that because it makes you look NOT WISE. Trixie lost because she wasn't tapped into the creative unconscious and Pearl was and thats that. Pearls costume I actually loved. I thought the silhouette was WEIRD AND NEW and it was basically a combination of one of my favorite 80s scene ever when Linda Koslowski in Crocodile Dunee is wearing the HIGHT CUT THONG and gets attacked by a CROCODILE?! THIS IS PERFECTION two fantastic things that go PERFECT with one another! and Pearls outfit was basically Lindas outfit PLUS the reptile?!?!? WIN WIN WIN Reptile swallows barbie doll, end scene.

5 comments:

Phillyguy said...

Yikes! I feel like I've been schooled and I'm 45 yo! So you really think the Ambien Princess deserved to stay? Didn't she have a meaty tuck? I think Ru knows something we don't about her and it's all gonna come out as high drama, mama!

Zachariah said...

I agree with the lip sync, Pearl was better and Trixie just didn't get Blondie or the song, and I feel bad for her because of that. However, I am having a hard time with Pearl's apparent apathy and I'm wondering if I just don't get it... Not sure if it's her character or what, but it really turns me off. I would love the apathy if it was born from a comedic standpoint; something akin to Alaska's demeanor or just owning being a total cunt. Her look and face were great too, I just want her to act like she gives a fuck, I want to see her want to win. She's better than most people realize, but I'm sick of yawning.

Loved the 'dad in a dress' comment. I think she should take up bodybuilding or something because she has the build for it, you know what I mean? She's got that natural BEEF that could become something more with a gym membership. She has big arms, and If she worked at it she could be the first(?) drag queen muscle daddy with 20 inch biceps!

Love these reviews. Your philosophical approach really carves out the subtext of the show. I'm in my late 20's and I hate "here and now" ideologies because it's bullshit and selfish and ignorant. There's an entire world of amazing things that existed before I did. I think it's the narcissism of my generation fueling its own ignorance. We're all products of what came before, and its especially true in creative endeavors.

Black Nyx said...

I was cringing during that lip-sync! Watching Trixie act out the lyrics in some baby-doll pantomime was just horrible. Dreaming is one of the best songs ever and there is nothing 'camp' about it.

XO

Phillyguy said...

One of the great things about David is that he knows his "herstory." He's right in that the gaylings today think they are the originators of everything new but David says, "Not so fast, hunty." This also taps into the realization that many baby boomers aren't going to go quietly into the night. Madonna has not hesitated to tell everyone she's not Gaga and Gaga's not her. So school away, David!

Angel Alexander said...

I THOUGHT PEARL DESERVED TO WIN THAT HER MOVEMENTS WERE VERY 80'S BOWIE-ESQUE AND I THOUGHT SHE WAS GIVING CAROL ALT FACE DOWN!!