Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Rupauls Drag Race Season 7 Episode 6 The importance of fulfilling fantasies

This is gonna be the shortest review ever and Ill tell you why, Im TWATTY.
I just got back from an amazingly insane 40th birthday trip to Berlin where 10 of my friends and I went to the Snaxx Party where I was basically a MEAT CHANDELIER as I swung in a sling on top of a bar while my boyfriend and friend acted as GUARDIANS OF THE HOLE and directed traffic as TURKS LINED UP TO SUCK MY CLYDESDALE PUSSY! YES YOU ACTUALLY JUST READ THAT. So am I interested in talking about how much Kennedy Daveport sucks??? NOT REALLY?! Im sorta still in a HAZE where Im wondering DID THAT ACTUALLY HAPPEN?! and YES you read it right IT DID HAPPEN. TOP THAT ON YOUR 40th BIRTHDAY I DARE YOU! My favorite part was when a fight in sued between some random man with a bottle of RHUBARB SODA (GOD I LOVE THE GERMANS FOR HAVING RHUBARB FLAVORED EVERYTHING) who tried to stick it in my hole and my BF and friend were like ABSOLUTLEY NOT?!?!!! and knocked his RHUBARB SODA to the ground as I LAUGHED AND GIGGLED like a baby in a swing. I felt so protected and special, like some kind of PRINCE. I am honestly so thankful for my bf, he really went out of his comfort zone for me and let me be as bonkers as I wanted and supported me and it felt wonderful to be supported and loved like that even though I know when he walked into the club, Berghain, he was MORTIFIED FOR GOOD REASON being that there is nowhere on Earth that a SLEAZE PIT like that exists. Its so insane I CANT EVEN TALK ABOUT RUPAULS DRAG RACE?!?! ITS THAT MUCH OF A MINDSCRAMBLE. Thousands of guys in fetish gear doing ANYTHING. You just walk up to whoever you want then DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. THERE WAS A LARGE POND MADE OF LUBE?! We didn't go in, as personally a POND OF LUBE hasn't yet made it to my fetishche fantasy MOOD BOARD. My bf was dressed as a Spanish Legionnaire (On the mood board for YEARS and he choose it on his own free will?!) and I was hit PET GOAT. Its tradition in Spain for these guys to have goats. Everyone from Spain was like WHERES THE GOAT?! and then he'd hand them my leash and fetish kookery would ensue. It was very cute how happy everyone was actually.
I also wanna give a big thanks to my friend Tai who set everything up and got me the best cake ever! Without him none of this could have happened.
As sleazy as it sounds there was a lot of positive energy in the party for me at least. It really felt like it was a shame free space where fulfilling peoples whacked out fatansies was a charitable act that everyone benefitted from so everyone just got in on it. I wasn't into half the stuff I did but it was fun doing it because you knew you were making someone happy and it was hot to do that and that felt good! It really was an enlightening experience. I feel people could learn so much from this. Its not always about YOUR SCENE, not that I ever thought it was, but It ACTUALLY IS FUN AND FEELS GOOD to make someone else happy by doing some thing you know they can't get anywhere else so why not have fun and go for it, its all good karma. FETISH KOOKERY…. BRINGING PEOPLE TOGETHER!
Ok That said can I kill Kennedy Davenport? She shortens the word WAS to WA. A lot of good people fought for their right to a solid education and her RUDE RUBE (I give definition because RUBE seems to be a term we only have in GODS GREAT YANKEE KINGDOM) existence spits in their faces. Can she even spell her own name???? NO, REALLY, can she???? She SHORTENS WAS to WA?!?!?!?!? This is a problem that is NOT OK! The runway look she did was hands down the worst look to ever go down the runway next to Serena Cha Cha?!?! Her backstage musings in Untucked solidified her as HUMAN TURD. She had the nerve to talk about Maxs make up and BRAGGED, actually BRAGGED, how she put on that COMBAT CONTOUR in two hours SPARKLES AND ALL?!?!?!? Oh god, my stomach is getting upset thinking about her. She's so stupid she doesn't know that her existence in my life qualifies as a QUALITY OF LIFE VIOLATION.
I haven't got anything else to say. I was so happy Merle said she's over Vampires. Im SO over Vampires too. We all knew Kandy Ho had to go… bye girl, you weren't fulfilling anyones dreams and thats what this weeks lesson was about.


Zachariah said...

I kept wondering to myself if Violet Chacki's extreme cinching was going to cause a pressure buildup so intense that her tuck would just burst out right before Ariana Grande's doe eyes.

Happy Birthday!

David Mason said...

Thank you Zachariah!!! :)

Martha Stewart said...

Dear David,

Aren't we just a couple of gals giddy with self-satisfaction?

I, too, am still in a HAZE from an recent experience involving a cadre of strangers when I stole the show at the Justin Bieber Comedy Central Roast!
Oh, I still get all tingly down there remembering how I slayed...each zinger topping the next until the crowd was on its feet cheering uproariously.
But I don't have to tell you that since it's listed in everyone's Youtube favorites.

On what video viewing platform did you post your little sling experience?

Martha Stewart

serge said...

I like to call her Ginger Mange...
Happy Birthday

Anonymous said...

Happy Birtday, David! I'm glad so many were able to eat that peach of an ass you have! Yumm-o

Unknown said...

What all fetish kookery ensued?

David Mason said...

Serge, Ginger Mange… Pearl summed her up real quick.

Matt said...

Happy Birthday!

This was the first snatch game in a while where I didn't think someone needed the hose for trying to make their character overly obnoxious and intrusive

but max tho.... so over it. She's like a Raja with 1/4 the talent and 4x the drama