Thursday, March 10, 2016

Rupauls Drag Race Season 8 Episode one

Don't read this if you haven't watched the episode! Also remember the first few episodes usually kinda are boring because you haven't established any connections as of yet.
Ok so first off I had to check if this blog even still existed. Its kind of a shame as it really was a great outlet for me but then Facebook and my Tumblr and my Instagram came along and it sorta killed the blogosphere which is unfortunate as I feel the process was therapeutic for me and a lot of other queens out there liked hearing a voice they could relate to… Sorry… maybe I got too close with everything and left like a bad boyfriend with commitment issues… I apologize for kinda ditching you! If you read it LET ME KNOW, well actually you don't need to, if Ive learned anything as of late its that I really should just be doing things for myself and not the recognition from others! I say that because I went to Miami last weekend and I got my first taste of the reality of AGING… Shockingly the world didn't STOP after me. The STEROID PARADE of twenty something children JUICED TO FILTH on their HORMONAL A GAME left me feeling like OLIVE OYLE…WAIT... Why am I not talking about how good Michelle looked??? or the over usage of the word ANIME?!?!? Sorry lets get down to business!
We all watched the meet the queens thing and you'd have to be pretty fuckin dumb with really bad taste if you didn't expect who went home to go home first. I give her credit for participating as it is NOT EASY and she is talented, but her talents are not for me. I don't even remember her name and none of us have to. Bye gurl… Why would you even think being as basic as that that you have something important, interesting, inventive to offer? Like you CREATED THAT?! You have the opportunity to create ANY person and THAT is what you made??? WHY???? Its like building a NISSAN CENTRA from the ground up. (I don't even know what a nissan centra looks like I must say so if you have one I apologize, I just know the name and know I don't want one.) I was just sitting there WHINING TO MYSELF "Why do I even have to see her?!" She was like MATH CLASS wearing a WIG.
The stand outs for me were Naomi Smalls, I like TALL lanky bitch who does BOY CHEST, I think its classy. She's the only girl out of ALL 100 girls Ive seen so far that can compare to a YOUNG RU in terms of BODY. Thorgy (I like her face), and Kim Chi was KINDA getting there for me as I respect her creativity, but this sounds mean and Im not saying it as a read because Im writing this while at the same time stuffing my face with Sour Patch Children BUT the shape is hard to get past. Dax Exclamation will most assuredly not make it as Ru does NOT like an effected queen no matter how good you are, just look at Max or Milan, even Milk (kinda). If you think you're above it Ru is really good at being taller. The Puerto Rican chicken lady FREAKS ME OUT. I do NOT want her around me. At first I giggled and then I was like "There is something VERY DARK there that is VERY NERVOUSLY being hidden." Laila seems like a cool kid, I like her as a person, she's cool enough, not a winner. Im kind of embarrassed to admit I like the Louisiana queen. She's resourceful and I appreciate her nerve, she was a pleasant surprise. Im a sucker for a poor person with drive, its the American dream come to life. Hard to swallow as a boy with that "blonde" "hair" but I thought actually kinda pretty as a girl. I appreciate her "nostalgia of mud". Bob was kind of a let down for me on the main episode but I appreciated her more in Untucked. I liked that she defended Naomi and clocked Derrick Barrys passive aggressive tryory. If Thorgy doesn't do MADAME for Snatch Game she's missing a great opportunity. I mean with the little sticks attached to the wrists???! Ive met Thorgy few times and I really like her. Her vibe to me was always like your COOL AUNT who dates BLACK GUYS that knew you were gay since you could BLINK. Thorgys schtick in NYC to me seems to be the REAL women of New York, not this tired Sex In the City bullshit. Thorgy gives you like DOMINICAN SCULPTRESS, WIDOW JEWESS, Rachel Dozeal lady. She's also smart. Acid Betty ummm I've met her a few years ago and I certainly appreciate her interest in being different but for me personally Im just not into "overness". I want her to be just a little more chic. Like those tights in the photo challenge cheapened all her look. Derrick Barry wasn't as bad I thought but who cares. I appreciate impersonators as its WEIRD but I have zero connection to Britney so it her merits fall on deaf ears. That sorta Jinxx Monsoon one is just a no.
Ru looked great, Im glad she's uncracked for 8 seasons BUT I wish they'd change the runway set and workroom just so it felt "new". Did I leave anyone out? I feel kinda pukey as I ate a pint of mint chip ice cream and 47,000 Sour Patch Kids as I wrote this… Im totes gonna barf...

14 comments:

Andrew Myhill said...

Really happy you're back! Love to hear your perspective after each episode. Not to mention giving me a window into your life in NYC, your travels, creative process and results.

Zachariah said...

I just came home from work, tired as fuck and covered in plaster of paris... Feeling nausea which destroyed my friday evening... and this!? This made me smile and forget that I feel like shit. I'm so happy you're doing the recaps/reviews again! now I too am off to barf...

zachaugustine said...

Yaaaaaassss kwean you no da tea and whutnot

M. Z said...

Glad to have you back! You are one of the few reviewers that has a real academic knowledge of culture and subculture-- especially as it would relate to this show-- and I really appreciate your perspective. I'm the type that watches alone or with a friend or two in relative silence because I need to parse what I'm watching instead of yelling, "YAS QUEEN!" or "SHADE!" at a bar. That said, so far I'm into Thorgy. Her personality is infectious. I'm interested to see where she goes aesthetically, my instincts give me Sylvia & Fran Fine, basically "widowed Jewess" as you said. Can't wait for her to break out the Todd Oldham, Moschino, and Loehmann's. Cynthia and her "cu cu" got annoying real fast. Earnest quickly became cloying. She creeps me out. I won't do a run down, or I might as well right my own blog. A question: when looking at the pantheon of winners at the shoot, what type of queen do you think is missing? Anyway, again, glad you're back.

David Magri said...

I was hoping you would come back here at least to write RuPaul's Drag Race reviews. :-)
It's fun for me to watch the show, and then compare and contrast my observations and opinions with what you write. Thank you for keeping your tradition(?) of writing RPDR reviews.

Myle_cr said...

Hurray - he's back :)

Marvin Butterscotch said...

I'm really glad you're back and I agree with the bloke above me on all points, this is a terrific blog! I had the same affinity with the Louisiana lad, something about his down to earthness and sense of self was really endearing. also I appreciate your longstanding ability to dislike something but also see some virtue in it ie the queen who got the boot.

Kurt Walters said...

Activity sheet to be finished quietly at your seats after the show. Match the House of Vader ( which will probably become their real names) name to the Queen's chosen name. Our lines are wrong! Please use an Elmer's glue stick, covering them completely with setting powder, then use a cream eyeliner and an angled liner brush to draw lines to connect them. Neatness counts!

1. Math Class----------------------Acid Betty

2. Boy Chest-----------------------Bob the Drag Queen

3 Cool Aunt------------------------Chi Chi DeVayne

4. Challenging Shape-------------Cynthia Lee Fontaine

5. Overness-------------------------Dax!

6. Effected Queen------------------Derrick Barry

7. no----------------------------------Kim Chi

8. Chicken Lady------------------- Laila McQueen

9. Who Cares----------------------Naomi Smalls

10. Mud Nostalgia-----------------Naysha Lopez

11. Clocker-------------------------Robbie Turner

12. Cool Kid------------------------Thorgy Thor

Studio143nyc said...

Your blog is great. You were missed. Instagram is not expansive enough for your world view.

Studio143nyc said...

Your blog is great. You were missed. Instagram is great for images of course but expansive enough for your world view.

Malibu Eric said...

I'm ecstatic you are back with RPDR reviews - I love your informed take on the production and the girls. 2 main things for me: Cynthia Lee has to go next week, can't handle her and also why the fuck indeed that they have NOT changed the set or workroom in 8 cycles? The money has certainly rolled in by now, spend some! Cheers to you.

Unknown said...

I just about shit my pants when I saw a new post. Lit have been checking every week for the past year waiting for new content.

youreviltwin said...

I always always always love your posts. I'm a gross sycophant like that. Seth Valis on FB if you are so inclined ;)

youreviltwin said...

Also, thanks for continuing to link to my largely but not entirely defunct SLWMAC, I appreciate it, and it DOES SUCK that the blogosphere died! There were some really great, weird voices that i read as soon as i woke up every day! I miss that.