Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Rupauls Drag Race Season 8 episode 5 Snatch Game

Snatch Game is basically the most anticipated episode/train wreck of each season. I mean I love it but its also equally full of OH GOD NO moments that make you just feel awful because I don't know if we've ever seen someone going down the path of disaster and then manage to pull in the reigns and win us over. Its basically OMG THIS IS AWKWARD MAKE IT STOP at word ONE. I wonder if were so interested and more sensitive to this because as gays were SUPER sensitive to behavior patterns and reading people so therefore "behaving wrong" basically means you could get beat up, told to behave differently, shamed, so therefore impersonation is a SURVIVAL SKILL???? I think so, but who cares, thats just an interesting point though as it also falls into the world of drag itself and then of course you reflect on your own life and realize that old Ru saying "You're born naked, the rest is drag" is true. So now you're kind of enlightened that your entire concept of self is partially A SHAM, but this is also a release because once you know none of it is real you can be the architect of your own being. There is no "real". Thank me later.
so Thorgy didn't do Madame as I said she should. The Edith Piaf quote of "use your faults" was lost on her I guess. I mean nobody has that MADAME CHIN…(actually Madame Chin is a great drag name for Thorgy should she do an asian inspired look?!). EXCEPT THORGY… I mean you put the little sticks on your wrists and its SEALED.. Whatever.. Michael Jackson was fine, well done, but who cares??? Michael Jackson isn't cool. Sorry Im mad he didn't do Madame. Eartha Kitt I actually think was kinda cute, chi-chi continues to charm me... BUT why did he pull the hair THROUGH the turban????! That was so distracting for me. "New York" ugh…millenials… just NO. Whats worse than Millenials??? GenX-ers who make SUPER SHITTY VINTAGE REFERENCES that nobody cares about and just come off like Miss Kasha Davis as the principle in Grease. She's didn't look ANYTHING like Diana Vreeland?! Fucking MADAME looks more like Diana Vreeland?! Where were the huge statement jewelry pieces, the huge nose, the grand statements that are so sorta lofty they're basically out of touch?! Seattle queens suck dude. Ok and now BOB. Sorry… not into him. I get a SNEAKY vibe on Bob. I don't trust him, he's not dishonest but he's a player and acts like he's "real" this is what you call an ACTOR. An ACTOR is different then a personality, and with a drag queen its the PERSONALITY you're attracted to, or the package, but if you get a vibe your being played I at least step back…nope… don't wanna be sold the Bob show.. can I get a REAL person over here please???. Crazy Eyes is a character on a show first off, not a person but WHATEVER, and its NOT hard to act like a retard, I do it often and Im not even trying! Im sorry, if Rosey O'donnell could pull it off, so could I. His switch to Carol Channing was a wise move. They giggled over the idea of a black Carol but neglected to realize TECHNICALLY Carol is black. She revealed it in her autobiography. Her dad was a "passable" light skinned black guy! The SHOCKER is that wasn't even the biggest reveal of the book?! Her something like 65 year DRY SPELL with her husband who after 900 years of marriage said he was GAY was WORSE?! Imagine… that poor lady waited 775 years for a dick that was NEVER GONNA SHOW UP?! Anyhow Bobs impersonation was OK, but is it hard to do Carol???.. I can do Carol.. here let me show you.. This is me, not even out of bed yet, and its better than Bobs soooo… wheres my fucking 7,000 dollar gift certificate for purses made from bicycle seats?!?!
Night of a thousand Madonnas.. or JUST ONE remixed remade remodeled… Naomis was the best but didn't all of them have like WIGGITY HAIR?? I wonder why THEY ALL privately choose geisha Madonna???! I never would. I think Id do Breathless Mahoney in the black sequin turtleneck dress. Its weird that choose that one, but I would. Although maybe not because you know who did it BETTER than Madonna was actually Phillip Blonde but maybe I still could because I just tried googling it 17 different ways and there is no proof so that means it never happened but I SWEAR IM NOT CRAZY and it WAS good!
I just had a very strong coffee and Im vibrating and pukey and need to not be sitting here. I can't think of anything else to say and its 900 degrees in my apartment… BYE!!!!!


Zachariah said...

Carol Channing with a mustache and great pecs; I can die now.

Ben said...

That kimono thing really made me think about how young these contestants are. So many better choices available, but I don't imagine pre-Evita Madonna is anything but a distant memory for most of them. Maybe you should try the Breathless look yourself just for gits & shiggles?

Jesuswasabottom said...

The Phillip blonde reference yasπŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌ

Anonymous said...

I came back to see that GIF again of Chi Chi slaying the Puerto Rican chick, and see you posted your Snatch Game review! Yay!

Your insights are always brilliant. Yes, OF COURSE, Thorgy as Madam? PERFECT. He had the MJ mannerisms down, I'm sure a puppet would have been a cinch. I was also charmed by Chi Chi's somewhat flawed Eartha Kitt. Cute. Did you see her on Untucked, telling Kim Chi she was starving for a hunk of boiled turkey neck? Now, THAT is a country girl.

Your Carol Channing was awesome! It reminded me of the night I had some friends over for drinks, and someone started talking like Carol Channing, and soon EVERYONE was doing it. This went on for like, an hour, and I finally threw everyone out because they wouldn't fucking stop. You're right: EVERYONE can do Carol Channing.

I get your read on Bob the Drag Queen. I liked him at first but he is sort of like that friend you had who you dragged out to parties because you knew he would make a scene and you could just disappear into the background and watch him go. Then one day you realized that after spending 15 minutes with him, you needed to take a two week nap because he just sucked the entire life-force out of you.