Monday, August 29, 2016

Rupauls Drag Race All Stars 2 Episode 1 Recap / Character Breakdown

All Stars 2 is goooooooood, so good. It really does make a huge difference to have no filler personalities. Being its only the first episode and I already did a recap Im just going to do a character breakdown.

Ginger Minj: The "hair in my food" of drag. I feel the Earth would be better if every element of her existence/aspect of her being/taste level was wiped from the annals of history. You cannot be friends with everyone and actively NOT being friends gives you something to do with a person you didn't appreciate so now at least you both have something to do?! It makes your life a little more exciting to have an enemy no? Now this said Im going to say. Everything she does… for her genre.. is correct. Perhaps that is her flaw, without ever having been punk "correct" is REPULSIVE. She IS actually talented. Her make up is done well. The garments fit correctly and she even looked cute for what she is in the intro so I will NOT clock her abilities. She can even sing. For what she is, she's well done. This doesn't matter for me however, I like NONE OF IT. I don't like realizing that we share the same plane of consciousness even, its insulting to me, I don't want to share this plane of consciousness with her entire cast of concepts.

Phi-Phi: She walked into the work room wearing a bridge-line by Mrs Kasha Davis sold EXCLUSIVELY at PARTY CITY of all places and delivered a rhyme THAT DIDNT EVEN RHYME?!?!?!?!?!? WTF is she doing here? She doesn't even get drag. Why is she really doing any of this? What is your intention person?! STOP TRYING TO GET ME TO LIKE YOU. GO INTO ANOTHER BUSINESS! FLEE!, Flea O'hara!

Coco Montrese aka KooKoo Spray-cheese: Poor thing. Imagine you get cast on a tv show and you still can't collect enough bills to get that missing tooth filled in?!? We all went from being mean to being like OH GOD SOMEONE HELP HER?! You can't make fun of her. She's fighting … TO STAY ALIVE. Let her be, I doubt she even knows where she is anymore.

Roxxy Andrews: Looked better fat.

Kataya: Ok, whatever. She's fine. I don't dislike. I enjoy her though Im suspect of her intentions, and that makes it very hard for me to like her. I can't get into a phony but she's still on the "good" side.

Detox: The reading segment could have been funnier. The black light show could have been BLACKER, but thats not her fault thats just tv lighting etc. The concept was clever for her being she's more of a personality for me and doesn't really need to do a show. I worry she's a TOUCH aloof and Ru does not like aloof or pretentious, not that Dee is pretentious at all but thats why Maxx got the chop. I just know Ru a teeny bit and what I know is she kinda hates a pretentious queen or someone who doesn't outwardly express their need/want/desire. Yet ANOTHER reason why Detox and I share similarities. My relationship to need is super bad. Because my mom and dad divorced at like me being 4/5 I have a HARD TIME with attachment/need. In my brain I basically got dumped by my dad who I was in love with as a baby and from then on was like I WILL NEVER SUFFER THAT HUMILIATION AND PAIN AGAIN. Thats a lot for a 5 year old to decide but I couldn't help being an oedipal WINNER and it actually made me an alpha personality late in life which made me mildly successful (Im happy at least), but also a person VERY uncomfortable with closeness. Luckily around 38 I began to return to being available otherwise I would have just faded away or become a drug addict or who knows what fate would have had for me if I never made an effort to be accessible again. I still have so much shit to work on but at least I'm doing it. When I see people who don't/won't/can't look inward I just KNOW a DRUG ADDICTION is on the way. I've seen it so many times. The lucky ones get sober but its always nice to try and get there before the drug spiral that is so common with the gays especially. That said I still have TONS OF SHIT to work on, for example If I see you out in the world and I want to know you there is a MILD chance Ill have the balls to be upfront and smile hello to a stranger, but the usual method I employ to "make interest crystal clear" is by walking by you and trying to make you feel invisible. ISNT THAT NICE?! What you don't realize is I am hyper conscious of EVERY GESTURE and would LOVE to say HI:) but instead what you get is a wildly over analyzed process of calculations which involves me trying to make myself look as good as possible while simultaneously making it look like I'm completely unaware of any of this and its a completely effortless gesture and all of this is NATURAL and WHY WOULD I EVEN SEE YOU IM BUSY?!… What a dumb cunt I can be. I work step by step / day by day to rid myself of this. UGH, How walking down the street and seeing another queen walking toward you is so anxiety inducing! Like do I look at them, do I not look at them, if I'm looking do I look insane? If I don't am I a cunt? At what point do I smile? Is me smiling a weird gesture? I hate it. I don't know why I haven't gotten better at this, and sometimes it feels Im getting worse. Sometimes I honestly feel like I have a hard time leaving the house because I don't know how to react to people. I refuse to do the "SUDDENLY MY iPhone IS SUPER IMPORTANT" thing though, I at least know thats just dumb. I just bite the bullet and find some building to look at till they're close enough and then I look and smile small-ly. BABY STEPS down the street. I wish I had some of my friends abilities to just be upfront and honest with my feelings. Its such a great talent that benefits you so well.

Alaska: Her nose seems so far up Michelles ass her name should be New Jersey. I like Alaska a lot and I feel this entire thing is made just for her. Whatever sure...

Alyssa: The Don Knotts of drag. Ma'am...What the hell was that puppet?! She's not going to win but she doesn't even have to she's fantastic as is. Just keep being you lady, you're a crack up and gorgeous to boot.

Tatiana: WOW she looks GOOOOD! Sooo glad she's here. I was hoping she would win the lip synch but she got a little monotonous with her gestures and never incorporated kicks?!?! I was waiting for the kicks?! LEGS ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN ARMS! I like that she was influenced by like those horrible MTV poetry slam shows.. GROSSS lol Most likely this very second Russel Simmons is sitting on a dildo imagining its her saying THANK YOU in variable tones of intensity.

Adore: That dress really was bad, and I like her on the show but in reality she was super uncharming. On that cruise she had a posse of twats and was totally the opposite of tv personality. Also her usage of "punk", "Goth", ""grunge" is ICKY, like gurlll.. I know they sell that shit all at Hot Topic so YOU think its all sorta the same because you were never there BUT IT ISNT. You are the opposite of punk. I can buy your look in a box at Spencers, that is not punk. HOWEVER, she is one of two queens that referenced Pete Burns at for that she gets a permanent gold star. This is a Gif of the superstar PETE BURNS, not Adore.

1 comment:

Martha Stewart said...

Dear David,

I feel your pain re: incoming strangers. The "NO EYE CONTACT" policy I've instituted at the MSLO offices works beautifully but is difficult to enforce on the street. At social events, I can send ahead an intern to Martharize a path but even then there can be missteps. My icy, intimidating air edits out the weaker ilk but does not deter the wanton opportunist.

My best advice is sell your soul, become fabulously wealthy and welcome the warm if fleeting embrace of materialism.

Now, if you'll excuse me I'm feeling a little blue and need to ruin and an assistant's day to lift my spirits.

Martha Stewart